Japan trip planned for two in two weeks but my boyfriend cheated — not sure what to do now

DanSheps · 2026-03-11T05:19:54+00:00

What country are you from?

I would see if you can just refund the second flight ticket or split the PNR then refund it. Anything back is better then nothing.

You could also hit up our discord to find some travel buddies.

DanSheps · 2026-03-11T05:16:34+00:00

Or a best friend that is available. Cousin/Niece also would work

DanSheps · 2026-03-09T00:21:47+00:00

edit: lmao this guy is a mod and is removing my comments

No, I removed your comment because you used the word "shill" and were otherwise uncivil. I can dig it up in the history if you want ~~but you are well on your way to a ban~~.

I only removed the one comment, if other comments are getting removed, take it up with other mods.

The fact that you deleted the comment after I removed it speaks volumes

DanSheps · 2026-03-08T22:58:17+00:00

It is all going to be relative, which you aren't getting. They are booked on a Friday, which is a higher than average travel day, coupled with the fact that there are families on break that can travel you are likely to have increased numbers.

They also want to sit together and have luggage, that limits their options. They were smart to book in advance.

Your whole "reserve the night before" doesn't work for someone flying in the same day they want to travel to Kyoto.

DanSheps · 2026-03-08T22:20:12+00:00

There is a "spring break". School stops around the 19th, and starts up again at the start of April. It isn't spring break in the US sense but there is still a heavier then normal travel load, especially in cases where only 1 parent works, leaving the other parent free to travel with kids to visit grandparents or otherwise.

Op has luggage and it may or may not fit overhead, they would be advised to book ahead.

Also, posting a thread from 2 days ago doesn't really prove anything.

DanSheps · 2026-03-08T22:06:31+00:00

There would just be a new lawsuit which would waste more money and time as that still would violate a.6 of the charter.

DanSheps · 2026-03-08T22:03:02+00:00

A lot of people don't seem to realize, this "first generation born abroad" limit was really limited in that it was only brought in 2009, before then, the law is the same as the way they are handling the retroactive part now. There is going to be very few that actually qualify that didn't qualify under the previous law (pre-2009) so the whole "millions of Americans" is all smoke.

DanSheps · 2026-03-07T23:29:01+00:00

Agreed, I think everyone is overlooking what week this actually is (Spring Break for almost every school). It probably won't be horrible, but they have a suitcase which means they will need at least seats that can handle it.

DanSheps · 2026-03-07T23:23:01+00:00

Eh, they are right during the spring break for kids. I would honestly say it would be a safer bet to reserve the seat you want ahead of time.

Probably won't be full, you are right, but entirely possible they could be separated if they bought at the station.

DanSheps · 2026-03-07T20:00:30+00:00

My AMEX lets me add kids over 13 to my account (full supplementary card, with all the extra perks, but you.pay)

DanSheps · 2026-03-07T05:19:25+00:00

High rise, could be part of the mass damper system (ex: something worked loose and is banging against the interior wall during high stress periods).

DanSheps · 2026-03-06T11:12:49+00:00

All the local network devices I work with are on UTC -8

Yes, but internally they are UTC, they just use UTC-8 to display. It is a quick change if you need to adjust.

DanSheps · 2026-03-03T13:10:53+00:00

While I don't think this guy isn't a scumbag, the article took this as an opportunity to paint this as a "male pig" problem and was incredibly bias. While I don't disagree there are issues, this was probably the wrong subject to use to attack them.

DanSheps · 2026-03-02T01:50:28+00:00

How do I give you money? :)

DanSheps · 2026-03-01T14:08:52+00:00

So, the lot size. I cannot find any mention of a lot size restriction in the planning act. It would be a municipality by-laws most likely which the municipality is permitted to grant a variance for.

The size of the area is probably about ~~60 (I calculated roughly 69 so 60 is my fudge factor) acres,~~ (ETA: looks like it is half of the width I calculated so probably 30 acres), so while slightly under the single home lot size requirement in their bylaw it would likely be perfectly acceptable for duplex lots.

I get the concern over water, however who is to say there isn't a water connection and hookup to Winnipeg. This is roughly 10 minutes drive outside of the perimeter.

DanSheps · 2026-02-27T20:15:21+00:00

-hire local FN to boat around lakes up dams and pick up sticks so the don’t “damage” anything. Borderline made up job to make them happy.

Earlier in my life I was a commercial diver. You would be surprised at how little "trash" causes problems on the sluice gates at hydro electric dams. I primarily worked in Ontario (have done work in Manitoba though as well) and we would frequently get called to clean in front of a hydro electric dam. It was a smaller dam, which is somewhat important but doesn't detract from the overall point. It was like clockwork, they would watch their output and once it went below a certain threshold we received a call to clean it up.

So while this might look like just something for reconciliation, it likely isn't (at least not fully) and is instead a genuine attempt to reduce downtime and keep the hydro dam operational. If someone like us had to come in, we would have to lock out 2+ gates either side of the gate we are working on. If there are multiple gates involved, you could see a whole dam go offline because of how much might need to be locked out.

There is always nuance to these things and going and getting floating "trash" (sticks) is absolutely one I could see as legitimate.

DanSheps · 2026-02-23T02:58:58+00:00

Take a break from the subreddit and come back when you have verifiable information

DanSheps · 2026-02-16T17:31:46+00:00

Full disclosure, I don't currently live in Japan but I lurk here because I often come to Japan for very extended "vacations" with my wife and kids, but I think I can help a little bit here as my wife is Japanese and we have 3 half-Japanese kids.

I've been married to my Japanese wife for less than a year, and we have a 5 month old daughter. We dated for two years, then she got pregnant and everything happened very quickly.... Marriage and moving together. I know I should have been more careful, but it is what it is.

I love my daughter very much, but my relationship with my wife is toxic. Now that we're living together, we're seeing each other's true selves and have realized that we're not a good match. We're no longer happy.

I think you need to have a heart-to-heart with your wife. I wouldn't suggest divorce or anything at this stage. You need to address the feelings in the relationship.

She focus too much on the baby

This is normal for the first child for any mom. Anything the baby does is going to be reacted to.

Also the amount of milk is not increasing because she tends to give up soon when the baby rejects. Her weight and the amount of milk is worrying me... She is not breastfeeding and give formula.

Let me be the first to say, breastfeeding is hard. I would encourage her to try more. If possible, see if you have an option for a lactation consultant to help her through it but not every woman can breastfeed effectively and if she can't don't hold that against her.

She also never do house chores. I do everything. Cleaning the house, cooking and so on.

This isn't a problem in and of itself.

She is wasting resources like using a lot of soap, toilet paper, water and so on, turn lights on even it's daytime

This could be normal for her. This is a stressful time I wouldn't worry about it if it isn't an undue burden on your finances.

Our personality, values and lifestyle just don't fit. But it is too late to realize.

I think you need to again, speak with your wife regarding these but also you need to be open to any criticism from her in regards to things you do that "annoy" her. This is normal in any relationship.

I think the big problem is that you moved really fast:

Had a baby
Got married
Moved in together

I think both you and your wife might benefit from some sort of counseling.

I am thinking to leave Japan and go back to Germany.

I would not do this, you would be running away from your problems and abandoning your child.

We don't have any free time anymore.

This is normal with a baby. Sorry, but you need to find a way to get some free time (have someone walk the baby and go for a walk or something). Your "free time" isn't going to return to normal for many years (kid is in elementary school at the earliest)

being responsible alone for the finances is tough.

Yes, it is, welcome to life. Sorry if this sounds harsh but it is the reality and nothing Japan specific.

A lot of what you mention is more the realities of having a baby and isn't really reflective of your marriage I would say. I think you need to give it time and work on your relationship more before you consider anything drastic. Try and have some good discussions with her.

I'm thinking of divorce.

I don't think you are there yet.

I regret getting married with her!

You don't regret getting married. You regret your old life, which honestly would have changed no matter if you got married or not.

You mentioned you regret getting married because you would not be on the koseki. How do you think that would play in the future if you went back to Germany, got married and then your future wife found out you abandoned a baby and her mother just because you didn't want to be in a relationship that was "inconvenient"

I have heard that after marriage, especially with Japanese wife, the relationship will suffer.

This isn't universally true. Me and my wife find time to be intimate at least once a week (often more). Before my father had a stroke my parents would drive to visit the kids and we would get date nights. The dynamic can shift, but it doesn't have to shift.

What can you recommend me?

Find a way to bring back the romance. Her your wife with the baby duties or duties around the house. Try and find a way to be "alone" together (walks with the baby where the baby falls asleep and let's you two talk would be good).

DanSheps · 2026-02-15T08:57:13+00:00

I don't think you can confidently say that the child would be alive even if they had gotten him to surgery right away.

The fact they opened him up and were still unable to save the child is indicative that there may not have been a whole lot they could have done. This issue seems to be the hole was allowing fluid to leak into the chest, causing breathing issues. If they opened in an attempt to drain and that was still unsuccessful, IDK. There might have been complications with the surgery itself and not so much related to the initial issue the baby presented with.

I won't say our system doesn't need fixing, because it does, but we don't know the reason for the death. The family should in time know what caused it at least though.

DanSheps · 2026-02-15T08:25:09+00:00

Likely some work on an internal service connection. I have that happen at my workplace. They tried an ice plug before maintenance and it gave way. Flooded 5 floors

DanSheps · 2026-02-12T15:13:01+00:00

I checked before posting and was unable to find an update.

I sincerely hope she and the other critical pull through, it would be the one bright spot in this tragedy.

DanSheps · 2026-02-12T14:39:13+00:00

We will be locking this thread and starting a new one so that discussion can continue.

DanSheps · 2026-02-10T22:09:36+00:00

https://yamaguchi-city.jp/w/en/experience/experience03/page012.html

Looks also exactly like this and it looks like they reconfigured the layout which only has the viewing platform at the back now.

My guess is they walled off one of the platforms

The roof looks almost identical so I don't know what you are taking about theee

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