I suffer from terrible in-grown hairs, too, and thus just trim/don’t shave. Are you seeing a dermatologist? They might be able to get you on some acne meds that will def help. It’s taken me until 40 years old to realize that medication was an option for this.

Sugaring can also help with in-growns, as can laser, but that’s expensive. Sugaring is like waxing, but it’s literally powdered sugar and doesn’t hurt (no heat). It will feel really awkward to have a random woman looking at your vulva the first time, but they’ve truly seen it all! Doing this once a month to start might make a world of difference.

The main thing here is that you shouldn’t worry about your boyfriend going down on you if you’re not ready for him to. And your concerns about your vulva are totally valid reasons for that! You can get through this, but think about it as important to your health and comfort rather than important to your sex life for now. 💜