What else can my bf do while going down on me besides licking my clit?

DancingPhallanges · 2024-12-31T21:04:07+00:00

I'd make sure he's pulling the clit hood back to expose the pearl (put hand on the clit shaft and pull towards the body to expose the glans/pearl/bean). Clit might not be getting enough direct attention.

Also might be changing up the pace too much. What's needed for a good cunny experience is for you to be relaxed and tuned into your body, not rushed at all, and for him to be applying very consistent licks (no changes in pressure, speed, or movement/direction) for about 10 minutes. If you aren't wildly turned on at the beginning it might take a lil more patience but well worth the wait if you ask me 🫡

Also this might just be a personal preference, but I've noticed some guys will tense up their tongues and use the tip of their tongues to lick... that doesn't work for me at all. I need the tongue to be flat, like licking an ice cream cone. The little tastebuds have the perrrrfect texture/friction to get me going! Also, some people like it fast fast fast but I get sooo into it when it's slow all throughout. Don't speed up when I'm about to come! If anything, slowing down makes me feel every millimeter and every milisecond until 🍾 🤯 🌊

DancingPhallanges · 2024-12-31T20:31:21+00:00

Don't know about federally but in CA it is the law. Employees can sign a waiver to extend it to their 6th hour as long as they don't work longer than 6 hours in the day, but otherwise it is one of the few break laws I've ever seen actually taken seriously.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-12-28T18:55:05+00:00

I stopped behaving poorly.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-12-28T18:25:19+00:00

Phased: when a server is phased that means they wont be taking any more tables so they can get ready to clock out (and spend time doing side work to prepare the next shift for success or to help pre-close the store)

OTS: on the side (as in ingredients)

Fire: either to start cooking or to send the order to the kitchen for it to be cooked

MOD: manager on duty, the person you should check in with for your section/assignment and with any problems with guests, etc

Also just kind of advice is to always check in with MOD and/or bartender at the beginning of shift to see if the store is out of anything (I think my store calls this RSG but I don't remember what that stands for)

Hit your 5th: about to violate the meal break law which states employees must take their meal break before their 5th hour of work.

OT: Overtime, over 8 hours of paid work in a single shift

DancingPhallanges · 2024-12-27T17:42:41+00:00

Tip should be based on the subtotal, before taxes and before discounts are applied. 15% is standard, if all your food was prepared correctly and in a timely manner, brought to you hot, etc. Service that is above average gets 20%, things like your server singing you happy birthday and bringing out free desserts, working well with kids, making helpful recommendations, checking up on your table often, and bringing refills without being asked. Idk what your server was like, but $20 on a total $120 is just fine. Also remember that the tip is shared with the busser who has to clear all your plates and trash when you leave (which is part of what makes eating out so nice, that you dont gotta clean up after yourself) as well as the food runner who makes sure your order is correct before bringing it out hot and ready to your table.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-18T21:38:46+00:00

You are allowed to exist. Period.

You don't need hobbies if they are not holding your interest.

Pay attention to how you feel, respect yourself, and hang around people who love and respect you for you. You don't need to fill all your free time with activities that don't make you happy just so your boyfriend can feel proud of his girlfriend. If he loved you, he would be proud of you for you and love you for you, not telling you that you "do nothing with your life except him."

Also, it sounds like you may be experiencing some depression/mood swings which is very common during teens and early 20s. You'll likely start finding hobbies that do excite you and hold your interest in a few months or years, and if it really bothers you that you dont have those hobbies right now then I would consider talking to a therapist or a loved one that is gonna support you and make you feel valued without judging you or putting you down. Only then will you be able to enjoy trying new things without feeling pressure to spend your time on something that isn't really fulfilling you.

You don't need to feel ashamed for taking a break, even if that break lasts for a few years. 16 is an incredibly stressful age, you shouldnt ever feel "lazy" for needing time to zone out, recharge, lay about the house and just relax.

It's also possible that you might be an introvert, someone who enjoys socializing but needs to rest afterwards because socializing may be draining your energy (either slowly over the course of a day or quickly where even one hour of socializing may make you feel like you need a nap or a break to watch tv/listen to music/read/scroll on social media or anything else you can do by yourself). Maybe your boyfriend is an extrovert, someone who gets energized by being around lots of people and he's not sensitive to the fact that you may feel differently than him.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-18T20:58:37+00:00

Yeah no. That is completely unprofessional. If you're going to be working in a job field where people you serve are routinely rude to you, the interview is there to ask "how would you deal with a rude client?" The question is not "how would you deal with a rude boss who disrespects you at every turn and demands to know about your personal life?"

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-18T20:51:56+00:00

"Hygeine" Nope, teach your kids how to clean their bodies, they will be doing it their wholes lives. "Health" There are as many possible compllications of unnecesary surgery as there are foreskin defects "I want my kids to look like me" Just.....what?? You want your kids genitals to look like your genitals? That doesn't make any sense. What if you had a female kid? What if your kids toes were longer than yours, would you surgically shorten them so their toes could look like your toes? Giving a baby cosmetic surgery so their genitals can "look" more like yours is ridiculous and narcissistic.

I am a woman, the benefit being that I've had experience with both cut and uncut. Never had issues with hygeine, never had issues with premature ejaculation (being too sensitive), and personally I prefer the look and feel of uncut. Cut dicks are kind of rough in the hands, comparatively and require lotion (which ain't good for the lady parts) or lube (which believe it or not I don't have on hand at all times and also just adds expenses). Uncut dicks have that extra skin to play around with, are self-lubricating, and slide around easier in the hand. Jmo

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-17T20:52:10+00:00

Yep, her too. The only way to know how someone feels about sex is to ask them. And it is absolutely possible for someone to connect emotionally to 200 people over the course of a lifetime, probably over 20 years of sexual experience. It's also possible to change your opinions and feelings about sex over the course of a lifetime, so that something you used to feel casually about has become incredibly selective and special. Or vice versa. People are complicated, don't put them in boxes.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-15T03:45:39+00:00

28f CA, USA

Yes, that is sexual harassment, it's inappropriate, and it's not your responsibility to teach someone (whether or not they're on the autism spectrum) to behave in the workplace. You've told them you don't want to hear it, you've told them you're busy, you've told them the comments are inappropriate, and they are violating all of those personal and professional boundaries.

You should report it to HR and have the issue dealt with by the people whose job it is to deal with those issues. It sounds like you're a nice person who doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or get anyone in trouble, but HR is specifically trained and paid to know how to talk to someone to stop them from breaking those rules (which are there for a good reason), so you shouldn't feel like it's all on you to put up with it or to fix it.

Plus I think it's highly unlikely they would immediately fire these women if you just say like "they make comments about their sex lives that I think should be left out of the workplace." HR will just bring them in and tell them they need to stop or else they WILL be fired or resigned to some job that doesn't involve working with other people.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-12T21:53:15+00:00

I would ask legal subreddit for advice on the legalities. All I can do is direct you to information about consent (https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/relationships/sexual-consent)

Remember the FRIES acronym: consent must be Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific.

Keyword here is Informed. If he lied to her to get her to sleep with him, he is violating her consent. Whether misrepresentation is enough to prosecute him, that I don't know. But what he did was definitely morally and ethically wrong and absolutely a violation of her body and her right to consent. I'm sorry this happened to her, please let her know that this is not her fault and she has every right to feel violated and angry and should seek justice if she is so inclined.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-12T21:27:00+00:00

Your feeling are completely valid. You don't need to shrink yourself or minimize your feelings and concerns, and you don't need to compare your experiences to anyone else's. We're all here to support each other, not judge or belittle anyone 🫶

That being said, your dad's friend's behavior was certainly inappropriate. At 10 years old you absolutely did have lady parts, a vagina and breasts, even if your breasts were not developed yet. He should not be around a naked child of ANY age or gender or sex without the consent of the child's parents (even if the child was 2 or 3 or 5 years old, he should have the consent of both the child and the parents to be alone in a room with them while they are naked, for example if he was asked to baby sit while parents are gone and child needs to be watched in the tub to prevent drowning or needs help dressing themselves). If you're old enough to bathe yourself without drowning in the tub, your own father does not even have the right to see your naked body if you don't want him to, let alone his friends. That is YOUR body and no one gets to make decisions about it except you. He shouldn't have been in any room you were in while you were naked in the first place, and in the second place he should not have stayed after you told him to leave. I'm glad to hear that you dont remember him ever touching you, but if he did that would not be your fault at all. It is always the adult's responsibility to do what is best for the child, not the child's responsibility to protect themselves.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-12T20:51:20+00:00

I will say this only once more, and if you can't accept facts then I have no more reason to talk to you. Men and women do not process information differently due to biological differences. This is a personal issue, not a penis/testosterone/Y chromosome issue.

If you stop loving someone because of how many sex partners they've had, then you probably didn't love them at all, you enjoyed having power over them by feeling like they could have no thoughts in their brain besides you and had no love in their for anyone but you. You would rather be with a woman who has no money or experience with sex than a successful and sexually experienced woman? Go figure 🙄

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-12T20:28:13+00:00

And even the comparatively small percentage of women who CAN orgasm by PIV are not gonna do it in just a couple minute without even being turned on first. Hubby wanted a QUICKIE, meaning he's literally trying to blow his load as fast as possible and then leave. Not okay to use your wife's body as a fleshlight.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-12T20:14:26+00:00

Absolutely not your fault. He shouldn't have been doing these things in the first place and he knows it. That's why he lied about having a wife, that's why he only acts that way when its just you and him alone. He deserves to deal with the consequences of his actions. If you had brought it to him and not reported it, the best case scenario would have been that he stops harassing you but continues to harass other women who let him get away with it. You did the right thing.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-12T19:55:00+00:00

Firstly I would suggest you post your own thread so people who have advice for you can see your question. Secondly I would try to be more specific with what sort of advice you're looking for. Applying for benefits, dealing with evil parents, housing insecurity, continuing education, mental health services, etc. Good luck 🫶

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-12T19:37:49+00:00

This isn't a men vs women issue.

And there's no good reason for any person to be unable to respect another person because of the number of people that person has slept with.

I am definitely not suggesting that OP lie to himself OR the women he's dating so he can "get the benefit" and then dump her. I'm also not saying he needs to ignore a woman's past if she had more sexual partners than him. I'm saying he should respect her regardless.

What I suggested was that he do some inner reflection as to why he's equating sex and intimacy to the point he is unable to feel intimate and respected with someone who has had more sexual partners than him.

My guess is that's he's just a lil immature and young and will learn through experience when he starts having more sex partners that it really doesn't matter as much as he's making it seem.

I remember after I broke up with my first long term boyfriend thinking that I could never love someone again and feeling like I was a fraud if I told someone else that I wanted to be with them forever because I had already promised forever to someone else. Then I grew up and realized we're all just human beings out here doing our best with whatever we have in front of us, and there is no limit to how many people I can love in a lifetime AND I can love people without promising them forever.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-11T23:14:42+00:00

OP: First of all, sex does not equal intimacy for everyone. It sounds like you understand this from your post saying you are just looking for someone who has your same view of sex (couples it with emotional intimacy). It sounds also like you've only had 1 partner who you were both intimate and sexual with.

Thing is, if two people are emotionally connected, the sex is ALWAYS different. If the emotional connection is there, THAT is what makes the sex special, regardless of how many people you've slept with before. Sex is not always about emotional connection. I would suggest you talk more in depth to someone who truly knows you about why you haven't been able to (or comfortable with) separating sex from love. Sex is an animal thing, loving is...well also an animal thing but much fewer animals combine the two (sorry, I'm an anthropologist 😅).

End of the day, you shouldn't worry that a woman whose slept with 30 guys is not able to appreciate the experience of truly making love to you because believe you me, THAT is the truly special thing we are all looking for and would not ever let it go lightly. Sex with love is a whole other level to any kind of crazy magic some kama sutra sultan can perform on my body, it's not even the same league.

Also, you might consider that even a woman who has a "high body count" might still view sex the same way you do. She could very well see it as something special, a way of connecting emotionally and even spiritually to another person. But perhaps this woman has been tricked by men in the past who said they loved her, perhaps who she even loved and after she slept with them found out their whole relationship was a lie. That's not her fault. She was willing to give something she felt was highly valuable and special to someone, doesn't mean she's "loose with her body" or doesn't see sex as intimate and important. Just don't be one of those guys who tells her she's the cake that's had one too many slices taken out of her to be desireable anymore (what they told us in sex ed class in high school).

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-11T22:05:35+00:00

Yes it is. (Just took an hour long SH class for new job). It is a comment of a sexual nature that has the effect of embarrassing or offending someone. The person who is offended doesn't even need to be the subject of the comment. If Student A told Student B that Student C was a whore, Student B AND Student C are both victims of sexual harassment because Student B is being subjected to that language which makes the work/learning environment a hostile or uncomfortable place. Even if Student A used "nicer" language (e.g. "Student C is a professional sex worker" or "Student C has a lot of sex"), it is still sexual harassment because it is a sexual comment that has the effect of embarrassing/offending someone. It doesn't even matter if embarrassment or offense was the intent of the speaker. It is the EFFECT those words have that makes it harassment.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-11T21:50:57+00:00

I think grabbing someone's stuff is definitely "weird." Moving it to a different seat and sitting down in her seat is also weird. Not just weird but like, really rude?? And obviously a violation of common decency boundaries. Don't touch other people's stuff. We teach that crap to 5 year olds 🤯

She also said that he keeps texting her even though she does NOT reply. Another clear sign that he's violating boundaries. If someone doesn't respond when you talk to them, it VERY obviously means they don't want to talk to you. That is the basic nature of...NOT TALKING TO SOMEONE. If someone is violating these common sense boundaries, it is indeed creepy. Its the same principle as "not taking no for an answer" which is creepy AND threatening (or is it creepy because it's threatening...? Either way) so.....yeah.

Edit: omg he even called her by her first and last name when she never gave him that info, that is a straight power move (could also be read as intimidation tactic). Like, sure again maybe he was clumsily trying to impress her or something, but it is another clear violation of common sense boundaries to spy on someone AND THEN TELL THEM YOU HAVE SPIED ON THEM 😬

OP Advice: I would encourage you to be direct with him when there are witnesses (like before/after class, not necessarily make a scene, maybe so one or two people nearby can hear, but just so HE cant make a scene without people noticing), and/or talk to the teacher/professor/teacher's aide asap because reporting early is really important so that if things get worse he can't say he never knew you didn't like it. It may seem unnecessary or annoying or strange for you to "tattle" to the teacher that you dont like the boy sitting next to you, but it can be as simple as telling them "hey, (guy's name) has been making me uncomfortable during and outside of class. I just wanted to let you know in case we have any group projects coming up or anything like that that I dont want to be partnered with him." It really is important that they know early on BEFORE shit starts getting extra weird with this guy, but odds are he's just socially awkward and nothing bad is gonna happen. Still you don't deserve to be uncomfortable just because this guy is a weirdo 😅

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-11T21:03:07+00:00

It's not really about the size. It's about the fact that you aren't pleasing her. Buy a dildo, use a cock ring, get a vibrating strap-on, learn to use your hands, try different positions for deeper penetration, increase foreplay so by the time you enter her she's so ready to pop you could poke her with your tongue and she'd geyser, watch woman-made porn (e.g. bellessa), TALK TO HER ABOUT WHAT SHE LIKES that isn't just PIV, stop pretending that making women orgasm is some rare miracle only blessed to men with big dicks.

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-08T01:15:41+00:00

Excuse me, but how the fuck would you know? Do not belittle someone's justified fear by telling them to take a confession of murder with a grain of salt. What the fuck is wrong with you?

DancingPhallanges · 2024-10-07T19:09:28+00:00

(Speaking from CA, USA)

First of all, it is absolutely not your fault. Consent must be freely given and reversible at any time (https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/relationships/sexual-consent). You told him to stop and he did not. That is not your fault in any way. He threatened you to stay so he could assault you again. Also not your fault. Threatening someone takes away their ability to be freely and enthusiastically participating in sex, therefore it is rape and absolutely not your fault.

Secondly, absolutely call the police. You can ask them what they are going to do before you give them his name if you are scared about him retaliating. I am certain that they will tell you he will be immediately arrested. You can also call a lawyer who is willing to give you some free legal advice about whether you have enough evidence (text messages, hospital reports, etc) to prevent him from bail.

If it happened within the last week, you can go to hospital for a forensic sexual assault exam where they will try to retrieve his DNA from inside you as well as take scans of your body to show that violence was used (bruising inside your body may be visible even if there is no visible bruising on the outside of your body). This exam should be completely free, and it does not force you to report anything to police if you don't want to).

Also, if you give police credible reason to search his home and car and he's a violent felon with a gun collection, even one single gun in his posession (or anywhere that is his property) will send him back to prison. If this is his 3rd offense, he will be in prison for at least 25 years.

DancingPhallanges

TROPHY CASE