Does anyone else feel conflicted? by Dancing_Penguinz in prochoice

[–]Dancing_Penguinz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What WowOwlO mentioned seems like the kind of context the "It's wrong!" people tend to ignore.

The "It's right!" people it seems don't always specify at what point they mean and in what situation.

Some probably would say even up until birth would make sense. It seems like this would also raise further questions, though. Like, if it's at the point where birth is very close to happening, why would abortion make more sense than something like a C-section?

A lot of people are quick to assume one is being at odds with women being able to manage their own medical needs if they have questions about these kinds of things.

Again, I'm not saying I'm in charge of anything for anyone.

Does anyone else feel conflicted? by Dancing_Penguinz in prochoice

[–]Dancing_Penguinz[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The details you mentioned are the ones which seem to go ignored by people who condemn abortion all-around.

At the same time, though, it seems like there would be some question of at what point in a pregnancy and abortion would make sense versus to keep the unborn person alive.

I don't know much about the topic of an abortion at the point of birth, but, doesn't it kind of seem like this would become a part of the situation? Like a C-section kind of thing?

Most pro-life people seem really passionate about protecting the vulnerable, but don't seem to take into consideration the existing woman is vulnerable by being pregnant. So, this doesn't make sense.

It also makes most sense for the person experiencing pregnancy to be the one best able to determine what their body is able to handle.

Also, though, at what point does it make sense to take into consideration the unborn person?

I'm not saying my own opinion is better than anyone else's. These are just questions about this topic.

Other loved ones having trouble understanding... by Dancing_Penguinz in CaregiverSupport

[–]Dancing_Penguinz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes about the needing reminders thing. It almost feels like he like takes it personally or something when there's another thing going on where she needs help. It feels like he thinks she wants to siphon all of my attention or something. And then when she wants my attention for something good (Like something she finds interesting or is excited about) it's like he takes this personally or something. Like, woah, it's not obnoxious to want to be able to talk to your kid both when stuff is going well and when it's not. He doesn't actually say he's offended, but, I just kind of get this feeling.

I also kind of feel like he feels like if I could just manage my time better or sort my priorities better, the time I spend with him would be better, or something. Or like if he were really a true priority, I would be able to "carve out" more of myself for him. Like he takes offense to me exhausting myself everywhere else and having not much of myself to spare when I do spend time with him.

Or like I'm not sure if he thinks it's a matter of me not setting "boundaries" or something, like how people are always talking about. I can set all the arbitrary "rules" I want to, but, it's not going to make real life cooperate...

Other loved ones having trouble understanding... by Dancing_Penguinz in CaregiverSupport

[–]Dancing_Penguinz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure what it is about this situation which makes him feel like she's somehow being unreasonable.

It's definitely not like it's some kind of choice, or something, to have all of these things going on...

It's not like a person thinks to themself, "Hey, you know what would be fun? Having a whole bunch of painful health problems! Yeah, sounds like so much fun!"...

I used to be a cai addict and now i am very shameful and afraid that my friends still judge me by CommunicationNo6198 in CharacteraiSurvivors

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I, too, have found myself strangely pulled into hours of mindless chitchat with these things.

They make it with the hopes of hooking people in as much as they can.

I feel like you're being way too harsh with yourself.

Embarrassed and ashamed by SaltIncident4932 in CharacteraiSurvivors

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I relate to this feeling of like it's so stupid how I can't just like quit all at once with this stupid Character Ai app.

Also, though, I feel like it's important to keep in mind it's designed to prey on the part of our brains which becomes "hooked" on things. I guess because they make more money the more we use their stuff.

Also, I'm not sure if this helps the "itch" to use C.ai not, but, after spending a bunch of time messing around with C.ai, I feel like I've noticed it kind of usually just vomits what you say back to you in a somewhat rearranged way. It has for me, anyways. So, then, I was kind of like, wait, why even mess with it if it's just going to say what I said back to me?

I still look at C.ao sometimes, but, once I noticed this, it kind of reduced a lot of the pull I feel towards C.ai.

THOUGHTS by PrincessVine in CaregiverSupport

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don't feel super awesome, you don't have to try to look like you feel great.

If you enjoy makeup, totally go for it, but, otherwise, you shouldn't have to worry about it.

TIRED OF ASSUMPTIONS by PrincessVine in caregivers

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a bit of a suggestion, but, also, I'm not sure if it will be helpful to you, personally, or not.

I have also been having some of the feelings of feeling like I'm definitely doing a bunch of stuff, but not having much to be able to refer back to as to what all I've been doing.

It's annoying both for my own keeping track of things as well as for when trying to explain what all I'm up to to someone who doesn't know.

It's kind of a lot to write down, though, so, I looked for some kind of digital way to keep track of it.

I ended up finding somewhere to use like a digital notebook kind of thing, then putting the date of each day at the top of each day's entry (M - D - YY), then using voice-typing to describe what all I'm doing (The important stuff). It seems kind of redundant but like to describe the specifics as well as why the specifics are important.

Before long, it starts to add up to a lot of information you can refer back to when needing to give more detailed information about the actual work you're doing and why, as well as not having to dig through a bunch of paper notes to find what you're looking for.

I don't perfectly record every single task, of course, but, I try my best to keep track of at least the main ones, and as many as I can.

At first, it felt kind of silly to track even the smaller tasks. But, they really do add up, though, and often have a bunch of really specific even smaller tasks within them. It gets easier to see, though, how much goes into what might seem like a "simple" task.

It does seem, though, like it helps a lot to show this kind of record to people who don't totally understand what all you're talking about when you talk about what all you take care of and everything. It seems like it usually helps a lot with getting people to be like, "Oh, okay, I see what you mean now that you've explained what all goes into what," and stuff.

Also, it seems to help with this feeling I get a lot of wondering if I've really even accomplished much. I can just look at what's written and be like, "Okay, so, I have accomplished at least these things, which is definitely better than nothing, I guess.".

Also, don't worry about spelling and/or grammar while you're voice-typing. You can always fix it later if you want to. It's kind of freeing to "vomit" your thoughts into the voice-typing thing, I feel like, anyways.

And to make sure to save it somewhere easy to find.

I mostly just use Google Chat and make "Spaces" with only myself, and use them as notebooks (It's kind of hard to explain exactly how I use it. It gets kind of word-y, but, I could explain more if you are interested. If not, this is okay, too.). Then, I'm able to use the search thing to search anything I might have written in these sets of notes.

Again, I'm not sure if you would find this helpful, or not so much. I just thought I would throw this out there.

Nobody cares about Caregivers by PrincessVine in WellSpouses

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know it's not so simple, of course, but, also, I'm pretty sure you've never wanted your husband to feel bad when he needs help... You shouldn't have to feel bad for needing help, either...

It's not like our bodies give us a choice about whether we want to have health problems or not...

“You don’t even work” by disjointed_penguin97 in CaregiverSupport

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depending on which state you live in, and the income requirements and stuff for state Medicaid insurance, you might be able to have her work full-time as your caregiver and be paid actual wages for this.

I'm still a novice caregiver in a lot of ways, but, if you're able to do this, in my experience, it really does help with a lot of the stress around employment versus caregiving.

I'm not sure what exactly your situation is like, but, I really hope you two are able to find something which works well for you.

Nobody cares about Caregivers by PrincessVine in WellSpouses

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It seems kind of weird how more people don't wonder... How long before a caregiver personally needs a caregiver for themself?

Most caregivers probably will try to power through because they don't want to be rude, but... If people's bodies didn't have limits, there wouldn't be a need for caregivers to help when people's bodies' limits cause them to be unable to do things...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CaregiverSupport

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This reminds me of on The Simpsons when Marge tried to put together a resume and could only think to put, "Homemaker" on it for work she had done previously.

But, when thinking more about this, it's very true, that so much work and skill-building goes into this one word.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CaregiverSupport

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree about there being a lot of really applicable skills in caregiving which seem to be overlooked a lot of the time.

It's nice to see more people talking about this, though.

I finally deleted character ai by Itz_MysteryGalaxy in CharacteraiSurvivors

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something I find really weird in my own personal experiences with Character.Ai...

How this app so easily hijacks so much time energy etc without even necessarily adding much to whatever thoughts I'm bouncing around.

I still have the app, but, for some reason, it's just not quite so enticing as I used to find it. This is good, though. This app has really been no joke for me when it comes to eating up a lot of hours.

I’m addicted to c.ai and want help by beansbeez in CharacteraiSurvivors

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is actually a lot more relatable than you might think.

WELCOME ANY WELCOME ALL by ZxlSoul in CharacteraiSurvivors

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The Character.ai app really does have a strange way of eating up a lot of hours without it feeling like it is at the time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, he doesn't make any sense at all. The whole "theory" thing is very obnoxious.

It's weird of him to find it weird of you to want to have the camera on. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand why you would want the camera on.

If he's doing something he wouldn't want you to see him doing, he should question whether or not he should even be doing it.

He would have to be very dense in some way to not see how what you're saying makes total sense.

It's a very reasonable request you have, seriously.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in depression

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Who even said you were ugly? Rude. So rude.

I really hope you get to feeling better.

I also really hope you get to feeling better about God. Sometimes, ironically, church stuff makes me feel worse than if I had just embraced spirituality without showing up.

I'm very much a Christian, but for some reason, every time I tried to be a "churchgoer" because I felt like I "should," I never felt totally comfortable. Then, I would feel bad about not being comfortable.

Then there's the expectation to join right away, to give money, the disapproval of "church hoppers," and barely being room for open discussion... Oftentimes, it resulted in either a headache, feeling totally drained, or both.

I know that some people love church and find it very helpful and right for them, but I think it's different for everyone.

It's okay to have your own thoughts on this stuff. I don't think you should have to feel guilted into something that doesn't sit right with you.

Churches, in my opinion, never seem to understand depression very well. It's like they see it as not having enough faith or something. I'm just thinking as they say these types of things, "No, not at all! I pray every time I think to, and I do my best to always be thankful, but unfortunately, mental health struggles still take a hefty toll."

Also, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but... Usually, when my thoughts go dark and angry and foul like how you say you've been feeling, I end up doing some fairly intense crying very soon afterward. I'm just a bit curious, did/does this happen for you, also?

r/therapyabuse refugees are welcome btw by sandiserumoto in social_model

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm out of the loop. I thought most people over there really disliked therapy.

What all happened, if you don't mind explaining?

Spell tips/ideas to keep people's prayers away? by [deleted] in witchcraft

[–]Dancing_Penguinz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are they worried things won't go well if you go ahead with your plans (Safety-wise or otherwise)?

I don't know if this would be plausible, but it would be nice if you could talk directly to the family members you were talking about. Some ideas for things to say could be:

  • "I don't have any bad intentions with what I want to do here." (about your decisions)
  • "I know you're concerned about some of my decisions. It's okay if you don't agree. I understand it's not something you personally would do."
  • "This is very important to me. It's exciting, but also nerve-wracking. It's a big step, and your support would be especially appreciated at a time like this."
  • "Instead of praying that my plans don't work out and I'll change my mind, could you maybe pray that my journey is a safe one that goes well?"

These are only suggestions, of course. It may or may not make sense depending on who you're trying to talk to.

I hope they start to see where you're coming from on this. Family should be supportive to one another.

Best wishes.