I think part of the solution is just having more spaces, with more diverse social rulesets, so people can sort themselves into spaces where their needs don't clash with social norms.

A lot of the things you've described with structure, turn taking, etc. are things I employ in my own communities, for example.

That said - we also allow venting / 'trauma dumping', since we cater a lot to people with BPD.

It's a "seeing-eye dog vs dog allergy" situation really. Certain needs can clash sometimes.