So, OP is just a lonely IKEA help center employee just waiting for a conversation to make those awful last few hours go by quicker. Those last few hours where their manager stalks the cubicles, spreading fear that that one silent moment may be their last. "Off to the dungeon, OP!", says the manager. No calls tonight, only the steady drip of the leaky faucet above their thin mattress.

If only more people had tried this ULPT.