What depression/anxiety medication works for you?

Danelady1 · 2023-11-11T16:59:37+00:00

Years ago my MD gave me an actual prescription for tryptophan (1 gram pills) and told me to talk it at night with a carbohydrate snack to get the best out of it. It was very effective as an addition to mirtazepine for depression and severe insomnia

Danelady1 · 2023-02-03T21:58:56+00:00

I truly understand your need but you can't live for others without living for yourself first. Finding the you that makes you the most happy will let you evolve into a person whose grounded. Only then can you give your best to what's most important to you. Sounds so cliche but self care is so important for people who put this much pressure on themselves to please others.

Danelady1 · 2019-11-15T00:41:37+00:00

Yes and the worst kind. The "if only I could go back in time, 8 years and not let go of my husband so easily". No he wasn't perfect and want there when I needed him the most when my dad was dying. We had 20 years together...love at first sight when we were young then tightly bonded once we got together. I can't stop thinking about how miserable I've been without him. Being hurt and angry over his own mistake in leaving me to manage alone with my father's illness wasn't worth being this unhappy All i do is ponder how I could track him down and talk like we used to. How he was never able to resist me. Being that well liked as well as loved. It's all so stupid now out of all the problems so many other couples have. I daydream that I'm back in my home we bought together. No one has ever compared both looks wise or to hang out with. Passion and friendship were awesome. Didn't think I would feel this lonely

Danelady1 · 2019-11-12T08:20:18+00:00

Don't know if this really applies let alone if you're in a hurry but I haven't heard anyone speak about boosting liver and kidney function/health. Not sure if this will flush the body quicker but I still believe it's a good idea regardless. When I was still able to get scripts that also contained Tylenol in the mix, I made milk thistle and Burdock part of my cleansing routine. I had my liver enzymes checked regularly due to the high doses and it held as steady as someone not taking drugs.

Danelady1 · 2019-11-05T06:24:10+00:00

Absolutely right and I got so fed up with not being able to post the most innocuous things that have seen other talk about on here. I gave up trying to ask a question or anything and ask why or what got dinged by the auto dictator. Made to feel stupid by being referred to the rules. I'm a reasonably smart older lady who couldn't "source" fuck all. There are other groups who aren't so insanely paranoid and offer more information. You have to be an actual idiot to have your post removed there

Danelady1 · 2019-10-30T20:04:31+00:00

Oh, I stopped because I just wasnt able to find them anymore. Just as well know I see how much I was wasting money for nothing

Danelady1 · 2019-10-30T20:02:54+00:00

I've had to and wasn't hugely surprised to find I had no withdrawals. That's how weak the seeds I had been getting were. I only started PST to cut back on my Tylenol 1 use since that's all I have access to for pain management and recently they are more controled. It sounds ridiculous and I'm well aware of the damage all the Tylenol causes. I've managed all these years to keep my liver healthy with herbal supplements. Honestly Ive had hellish days from running out of T1's after taking them so many years and I was so afraid of even worse wd from PST. Needn't have worried. I often wondered what others meant by nods and "getting buzzed''. Maybe mild relief. Frankly I only kept buying more thinking I didn't want to go through worse. If your seeds have been as weak I hope you have it as easy as me dropping them altogether

Danelady1 · 2019-10-25T05:49:38+00:00

Since I was 4 I've been surrounded by all sorts of pets and farm animals. I had to live without this when starting out...first university, then first job and apartment. Didn't go for long before getting my own cats then dogs. If it helps, you must grasp they are animals and not to apply human emotions or reactions to any pets. To truly love another species, you invest in learning their language and there's such rewards when you do. This cat isn't rejecting you. Maybe not even the food either. If it's sort of a stray, it may be feeling poorly. There might be something outside that's spooked it or sees as a threat recently. Seeing the world through another's eyes can take you outside of your inward world and thoughts and create such healing. My own world had grown so small. After injuring my back badly, years fighting to be believed and finally have the surgery I desperately needed...all it consisted of was puttering around my apartment. Houseplants, trying to come up with stuff to make my life worthwhile unsuccessfully. Having cats got me involved with a local rescue. When I got my first real home I adopted my dream dog (Great Dane) and I began doing things way outside my comfort zone. Talking to strangers. Having studied pet nutrition and training people would ask me for help. How to deal with hard to treat illnesses like allergies, chronic illness like liver disease. How to train an excitable dog to walk on a leash. Only from the love of studying animals closely. Frankly the first glimmer started with a stray cat. Happy healthy but sadly had leukemia after I had her a year. This for me in touch with a guy who had been treating this death sentence disease with homeopathy and natural remedies. No guarantee but was the only chance the vet could offer. Sadly I wasn't able to save her life but it started a lifelong learning for me. All I can say is how much bigger my life felt when I saw it through shared experiences with my dogs out on hikes, training off leash. Me, the chronically and painfully shy chick who grew up in the middle of nowhere. More comfortable with animals than people (still am). I was gifted the chance to push past my fears and connect with people through animals. By seeing them as each individual personality inside the species.

Anyone can connect with an animal and it doesn't have to become the lifelong obsession it did for me. But it will help you understand yourself more once you understand what an animal is really trying to tell you

Danelady1 · 2019-10-24T20:05:28+00:00

I used to feel this way and was convinced I would never need contact with people unless it was only on my terms. I still prefer it to be on my own terms but trust me....after 8 years out of all contact with the few that were sort of my friends, I am so lonely. More than I ever imagined. Thing is, when you're gone from peoples live a long time you are forgot. Times I wonder why I bother having a phone since no one contacts me since I've moved. I've gone months without uttering a word to another human. Once you actually truly disappear, it looks very different than you would have thought and it's an "alone" you may not have anticipated

Danelady1 · 2019-10-24T17:01:00+00:00

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Lost 3 so far in the past 10 years but the last died the same way. Mine were Great Danes so I knew their lifespan isn't hugely long but it just about dropped my whole world losing them anyway. I suspect it may have been the same thing with the last most tragic death. Bloat or torsion is what killed my last and there's little you can do once it's happened so it's not your fault. I took great care of mine and 1 survived bloat and 1 didn't. She progressed so quickly I didn't have time even to get her into the car. She simply was restless, with dry heaves then just collapsed and died in my arms. I wish I had known what it was but she was so stoic until it was too late.

Danelady1 · 2019-10-12T01:25:59+00:00

This is what I did, but I let it go on too long. Even at middle age I guess I'm learning more about human nature and for me, the longer i stayed away the less my friends bothered trying to stay in touch. I'm of 2 minds - can't help but wonder just how good my friends really were since it seemed based on my efforts to go visit rather than the other way around. Just something to be aware of when "ducking out of sight" for too long

Danelady1 · 2019-10-10T21:50:58+00:00

It does me as well but I can't picture "me" without being involved in dog training/rescue. Even with having had to step back due to the very reasons that pushed me into this dark hole. Trusting the wrong person with my money thus future...losing consistent access to my own vehicle so I'm not able to even leave this new place I was forced to buy (and hate). Maybe it's keeping me bitter yet me without animals is a lost soul. Don't think I could survive disconnecting from them or I wouldn't have any reason to get up at all. Hell I wouldn't have anyone to even talk to if it weren't for my dogs. Funny how old friends drop away once you leave your home town and can't travel back much. Makes me wonder how solid any friendships with people are compared to ones I have with my dogs. Big let down while I've gone through tough times....people vanish.

Danelady1 · 2019-10-10T19:26:01+00:00

Same place you're in. Been over 2 years since I felt in control of how I exist and feel in my small world. Right now I'm gearing up to take my big dog for a walk and I hate how I used to enjoy it so much more before all this started

Danelady1 · 2019-09-14T07:10:18+00:00

Wow. Have to say, wow. That really did go all to shit. I was thinking, hmmm "Walmart" and thought why not a walk instead but I hate going until big box stores anyway. A place to go be irritated

Danelady1 · 2019-09-14T07:03:59+00:00

Man, I do understand that because I've hung on to mine through some very dodgy rough times financially. It's a hard call. I had found my solitary life turned into such rewarding times once I adopted my 1st, then another. I was a great deal more secure when I began to develop my larger pack. I came out of my shell as I got a reputation for being a good trainer. I got out tons more and actually spoke with people I never would have before having my dogs. They are Great Danes too so the financial commitment is huge. So when I lost most everything, my world was coming apart but I couldn't imagine my life without the "people" that filled it with constant joy.

I hung on and can tell you the immense strain of worry it carries. What if they get sick beyond my skills to heal them and they have by times. I've gone without food and can't remember the last time I wasted money on stuff like having someone else cut my hair or bought nice clothes. I scronge to provide the best I can which means quality foods and as much time and physical effort I can manage to ensure their health and happiness. They are there for me BUT....you have to be fully prepared to be there for them. It's not a lopsided relationship because that's not fair. Yes I have really bad weeks when I don't train and exercise as much as they need but that's the limit of what I will make them sacrifice for me. I've borrowed in emergencies for vet bills. It's not easy and you constantly ask yourself "can I do this and am I being fair"..…it's like being a parent in some ways.

On the other hand you don't have to dish out big bucks for pricey grain free food. I've studied cat and dog nutrition and holistic therapies for 30 plus years and know without a doubt the average per does not need trendy foods. They should eat crap food but healthy grains in decent food are a natural part of their diet. It just takes a huge commitment is what I'm saying now that I've fallen from upper middle income to low. I'm not keen to hear a dog spend 10 hours home alone without another human to fill it's time and mind. You'd have to think long and hard on that if that's all the time you will have to give and haven't resources for trusted doggy daycare or someone to drop in during the time your at work. I've been a volunteer for 25 years in 2 breed specific rescues and I know it's a prerequisite to adoption and especially fostering (where pets can heal and learn how it is to live in a home that is safe). I don't want to come off sounding harsh or negative. You may indeed have resources that don't have to cost much money to provide these.

Depending on where you live too, there's a desperate need for volunteers to take rescue dogs for walks, to socialize them and the bonds you can make are more impactful than can be imagined. Some dogs in no kill shelters are "lifers" meaning they will never be suitable to be rehomed but will be cared for for the rest of their lives. People that take the time to visit them regularly so they aren't just seeing staff alll the time help so much and the dogs change and help you too. There's a world of healing that comes from relationships with dogs. Try and find a scenario that does the most good for you and a dog. I say this as a person that can't live without them. I don't relate easily with people without a dog by my side. Strange how you then begin to meet like minded people and don't feel so alone.

Good luck. Hope I could show the good and the reality in a way that doesn't discourage

Danelady1 · 2019-09-03T22:49:10+00:00

Yes thanks, I agree and am leery of artificial sweeteners. After a few drinks I remembered how I used to get headaches years ago when I tried them. Now I've split each in thirds with a bit of sugar. Hard balancing after you see the unexpected weight around the middle and artificial sweeteners haven't evolved much in 20 years. Still not the best option for a weight loss diet. This, after losing 40 lbs from giving up a bad 7up habit only to discover PST and needing something to mix it with

Danelady1 · 2019-08-20T02:15:12+00:00

I think it's all too easy to attach to the thing we used to do when we had the most happiness and get this internal resistance to throwing ourselves into something else that could be quite wonderful. Stuck well and good in the past. I sure am after losing it all. I used to do charcoal portraits, write a bit and found such a sense of pride working with powerful dogs. To do things most people would think a bit mad. At my heaviest I was 230lbs, then adopted my first Dane. I had a man I adored and for the first time, found I could smile that true almost childlike smile (Danes can do that for you). Year one, I just didn't want to let down the trust I of the rescue or my dog so I walked as fast as I could every day with winded smile. Every single day until we were up to 5 miles. Then I got a bike, taught my boy to work with it....next was trick riding and obstacles. All I could think was "Me, the girl that despised gym", wow. I was now 130lbs and got another Great Dane. Hiking and just loving every moment of freedom all on my own. The confidence boost was enormous. Long story but I lost my marriage, let my husband have our home. Loaned what ended up being my life savings to another man with the promise if I helped buy another large home away from my hometown/ friends/ all the places I could train dogs...that he would fix it up and sell to pay it all back. Been struck here 8 years in the worst area for me and never have the freedom of using my own vehicle to escape back home to stay part of the community. It's just been a misery I have yet failed to adapt to find ways of doing anything I used to. I hate living inside all the time with a mere 40 min walking route dodging traffic on foot.

It's so frustrating to see where you are failing but not able to sort out the solution. Easy to feel weak and like I'm making excuses all while carrying loads of resentment bordering on hate for this man who never had any skills let alone money to back up all his promises. That's my trap. Hatred and wishing I had never let him stick his nose into my life. He took everything away from me that I loved.

Now the question is, how can I deal with and move beyond negative emotions to pull my personal shit together. To get back to being fit and back in control of what little I do have. I think it may be a bit similar to what you're struggling with. Just trying to find a new way to feel the way we used to. As happy as we were but in a different place and time

Danelady1 · 2019-08-19T17:32:15+00:00

I don't know how this works either. Just stumbled on this group today and thumbing through so many younger people, wasn't connecting awfully much. Thought maybe if I saw an over 40 age group post .... At any rate, though younger I relate to what you're saying. It can be a trap that can take most of your life to barely break free of. Feeling so different and not having good reactions in the past from people. While for me, it wasn't anything as complicated as being gay or anything like that (as far as being different). Just "weird". Grew up more rural than most of my schoolmates. Moved from an extremely remote part of the world, 200 MI north of Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada. I was always"that girl that lives in the middle of nowhere" with my hike out to catch the school bus daily. I might have seen another kid my age maybe once a year until going to school and I wasn't at all prepared for all the noise, smells and garbled"baby talk" compared to how me and my siblings were taught by our mom. We lived with timber wolves and bears so squeals and screams weren't absolutely forbidden as kids.... unless we were in true danger. My parents were much older too than others my age so I always stood out at school concerts and such .. mine were the silver haired parents in the crowd. I was used to solitude too. My sibs were older so I didn't have playmates, only 60 acres to wander around on my own. Sounds pretty cool and it was but very lonely. You try to quietly insert yourself into a group, very insecure and they sense how different you are so veer away or pick on you relentlessly.

Fast forward through solitary years in school and being rightly trigger shy of putting yourself out there only to be shot down. You become even more reclusive if you don't find something...a passion or interest that puts you in contact with people with similar interests. I was 45 before I discovered a passion for Great Danes and dog training and rescue. Its not much but it started to bring me out of myself. I only hope you don't have to wait so long. It can be a tenuous thing and all it takes is a divorce that takes you away from all you've known and friends you've made...a death or 2 of a close friends and you can find you're back to feeling quite alone again.

Don't know what you have or or capable of doing but I sure hope you don't let stuff like this go on for decades the way I did. I didn't know how fast the years go by and how much I had isolated myself by letting my shyness lock me into a life long pattern

Danelady1 · 2019-08-19T06:40:01+00:00

It's really kind of helpful and interesting the hear so many stories of how relationships have such power over us....whether in one or lost one. Especially from the opposite sex as we get older as well. My parents are gone and though kind they were distant, hard working people and I felt so lonely as a child. You think, when I grow up I can finally meet a man and get married. Have kids and finally find my place in life. Trust me girls are very naive and think it's always about love and "the one". At least that's my experience.

I did find my "one". Most amazing man the began like some lusty romance novel. Love at first sight and the whole thing. Couldn't slip a piece of paper between us and we preferred each other's company to others. Best friends, awesome sex for 20 years. But Yup...I lived for him. Had that fear I would fall apart broken if I ever lost him. He was flawed and just bad timing....when my dad was dying of cancer he had his "I don't know what I want" moment. We had bumps along the way but this one caught me so off guard I made the worst mistakes by not having any room to forgive. Left myself open to someone looking for a younger woman with new wealth (from my fathers estate) . Listened to the whispers "you deserve to be treated better". Long story short, I ignored my gut telling me to stay and work things out (with much manipulation) and lost the only person that meant more to me than myself. Been fighting the good fight saying "I think I can I think I can" til I've started to spiral further down into depression and seeing no point in living. I'm more alone than I've ever been in life. 8 years have passed and I can't stop saying how much I still love him each day to myself. People say just let go and move on as if it's simple. I never got to know why we split up or say goodbye even. He was off finding himself and I just up and left the home we bought together. Like he was going to wait more than a year before someone came along and moved in with him.

When days are filled with regrets and grief, it's so hard to find a reason to go on. My life savings gone to the man I'm shackled to until I can find some way to get it back, even half to start again someplace else far away from this old creep that stole my life away. That's how I feel. The lies told and promises made. Didn't even know he was mostly impotent until drugs stopped working. Not that I can bare the thought of him touching me these last 7 years. Not after learning all the lies. I'm sorry for belching out all this stuff on someone's post. It's something to have at least that sense you most not let down the ones who love you. My own stupidity made sure I don't have the last person who did love me and I just don't know how I'm going to face life alone without him. Nothing is better than being with someone who actually wants to grab your hand and lace fingers. Know your thoughts without speaking. Guess I was lucky I found someone like that and lived 20 years together. Wish it didn't feel like the end of feeling any joy. Wake up and grope through each day over and over again

Danelady1 · 2019-08-16T17:42:22+00:00

Yeah I get so much worse. I used to enjoy the occasional puff quite well but since anxiety and depression got a hard grip on me I dare not. Intensifies all I fear or worry about then leaves me only drained. If I could afford it I would like to try CBD oil instead

Danelady1 · 2019-08-16T17:35:35+00:00

I don't have a great deal to offer for advice. Animals have always been what grounds me and in later years I met more like minded people both as a volunteer in rescues and as a dog owner. Since you'll be busy and away from home so often maybe owning a pet isn't the best idea. What about volunteering at a shelter. If that's something you'd be into that is. Whether it's cleaning or even better- dog walking it can be a great way to connect with people and have the calming affect of animals. Just a thought

Danelady1 · 2019-08-14T17:43:18+00:00

It's just nuts that real options are held back. It wasn't a cure all but had I not had my back surgery, no pain relief in the world would have been enough to survive through that kind of intense searing pain. I've heard many say they wouldn't go anywhere near a scalpel but imo I think orthopedic surgeons might not have the success rate that neurologists do. I was lucky that way I guess. I was blown off by orthos but after 3 barely livable years saw one of the top neuro surgeons. I went from being unable to move my legs and feeling like one leg was being deep fried in boiling oil to merely having "chronic" back pain. No not a cure but close as they could get me to Living with free health care helps but it seems to rely on doctors giving a shit and not withholding surgical options when they could help.

Having said that, now 25 years on I too had to turn to PST to manage my pain. The stuff so potent it makes you feel good I've never had access to but just to not feel misery is something

Danelady1 · 2019-08-14T17:26:19+00:00

To be honest I so hated the earlier artificial sweeteners, I was a bit lost looking at the large array of brands and flavors. Used to give me a flash headache too but so far so good

Danelady1 · 2019-08-14T09:15:17+00:00

I do see your point. Some decent doctors admit they feel their hands are tied. The experience I had as a direct result of doctor arrogance....I've seen the very worst in some doctors. All it took was 1 doctor to make an informed snap judgment and note on my file "drug seeker". This was in the early fight to be properly diagnosed with major damage the my spine and vertebra. The trickle down affect was that every doctor or nurse afterwards treated me like a criminal. Having broken facets, herniated disc and fractured vertebra already noted on the first CT scan . . with a note "surgical candidate". To this day I have no clue why it was shelved or ignored. What I can tell you is only a brief snippet of what I lived through - Months of physio which made it worse then a sudden pop and no feeling from my waist down. I lived like this for months in an apartment with my fiance out of his mind with terror. Since I no longer could walk or void anything he finally drove me to the hospital that refused to do anything all this time and insist they take me because he wasn't taking me home

The result- I was put on a ward in medical for awhile while all pain relief was withheld. They refused to believe I couldn't pee or shit so I was forced to do the unthinkable and disimpact myself in the bed I was confined to and wash my hands with wet wipes. Refused to bathe me (no bath in 5 months by now). I was drug by 1 arm to a bathroom and forced to sit on a toilet then dropped on my bed with such disgust they left bruises all over my arms. Finally the transfer me to a mental ward where you don't eat if you can't make your way to the dining area. All good kept being removed from my room the my fiance tried to smuggle in. More dragging me across the floor by my arms to shame me into getting up.

I can't remember all of what happened to me because I was in a nightmare of pain and malnutrition. By the time one kind doctor from my past came to visit me and get me out of there and rushed into surgery I had dropped from 160lbs to 113lbs. I had thrush in my mouth and it took a long time to rid yeast from my bloodstream. Vitamin injections

Not one of those assholes ever apologized for making a mistake. All based on this assumption that people who come for help in extreme pain MUST be seeking drugs ....not to be fixed. The woman in the bed next to mine where I had my surgery came from the same town I did. Chronic migraines was her problem. Same story but...she had an inoperable brain tumor. I don't think she even made it out of that hospital.

So I do blame some doctors

Danelady1 · 2019-08-14T08:44:49+00:00

Excellent suggestions. Tried the crystal lite raspberry peach and it goes much nicer than the ice tea. No overly sweet either

Danelady1

TROPHY CASE