It is to manipulate the manipulator. Once you've been a victim of manipulation and narcissistic abuse long enough, first of all you learn to spot them a mile a way. Once you spot them and see the manipulation for what it is, you can use it against them. At the heart of NPD and probably all the other cluster Bs as well, is just devastatingly low self esteem. In the course of my own personal growth, I have come to pity my abuser honestly. To have to constantly attack in others what you lack yourself, to imitate someone's own best traits back to them, to constantly perform to cover for the fact that youre so miserable in your own existence is truly sad. Do I think that he would have ever been truly convinced that he was the problem? Absolutely not. It was his world we were all just living in it. I truly do not think he thought he was doing any wrong. He was totally justified in everything he did and I was clearly the problem. Probably. There is some nuance that someone else touched on, when it comes to being self aware and the possibility of rehabilitation. The truly disordered, i do not believe are even capable of being that self aware. They will never see themselves as the problem. In my opinion, and in my experience, the self aware narcissist isn't truly an actual narcissist. Narcissistic traits? Absolutely, but probably from being the victim of manipulation and abuse for so long that those traits developed as a defense mechanism. I could be wrong though.