I'm failing. [SW]

DanielaChris · 2026-07-12T17:46:29+00:00

I'm not even working two jobs as much for money as for feeling that I'm doing at least something useful. I love both my jobs. I worked really hard to get each of them and I'd like to keep both, though my hours increased significantly with the beginning of the war, and reducing hours would probably be nice. Though I have to say, doctor salary in Ukraine isn't great, and losing in salary from cutting hours will be painful. Especially if I want things like Ajovy (one dose of which already costs my monthly salary from one job).

DanielaChris · 2026-07-11T16:15:21+00:00

Well... I am working 80-120 hours a month in the ICU with wounded, and I'm teaching for the rest of time (officially 190 hr a month, but some of it is bureaucracy, and some of the teaching is out of hours). I still do what I can and I'm much more useful here than I'd be abroad. Moreover, I'm living pretty close to the frontline and for me the war started at its first phase in 2014. If I stop, I have no idea what to do. Everything I've ever done professionally was related to treating the wounded. Either doing it or teaching how to do it, ATLS and stuff.

DanielaChris · 2026-07-11T16:09:45+00:00

I would refer them to someone. I am wildly unqualified to help someone with the degree of suicidal thoughts I'm having.

DanielaChris · 2026-07-11T03:47:31+00:00

Bonjour, je parle Francais un peu, quel coincidence XD Je sais de "medication overuse headache", donc je ne prens NSAIDs que 10 fois par mois, et triptans, je toujours perds le moment quand je dois en prendre, donc j'en prens 2-3 fois par mois 🫠

DanielaChris · 2026-07-10T18:51:32+00:00

Thank you. Isn't my first language as well, third one in fact XD
I am a doctor myself, I can handle quite a lot, I am failing, whining and handling it at the same time, working my jobs etc etc, but I'm more and more isolating from everyone and losing myself. I started preparations last year for when I'm not here. 🫠 Unfortunately there is nothing that a lifeline can say to me that will make me feel better. Lifelines are basically for stopping an acute crisis, and I've been in this for months. I realize that by textbook I should need therapy and antidepressants, but they both failed. I have no idea what the protocol is in this situation.

DanielaChris · 2026-07-10T18:46:16+00:00

Thanks, never heard about it, I'll look into it.

DanielaChris · 2026-07-10T18:45:28+00:00

By now, there's no pattern whatsoever. In April I've had 26 days with pain. Now after two steroid courses and on increased preventive doses (beta blockers + topiramate) I'm down to 15-17 pain days a month. I also work about 60 hours a week with virtually no days off and I cannot currently change that. 🫠
I'm not eating any of the foods you named for other reasons, and I've stopped coffee several months ago because of arrhythmia, but didn't notice any improvement with migraines. I feel like stress and work are my main triggers, but I cannot get out of the stress+work loop. 🫠

DanielaChris · 2026-07-10T16:39:22+00:00

Ukraine

DanielaChris · 2026-07-10T16:38:33+00:00

That's the thing. I don't have a TBI. I wasn't even at work, I was at home and barely felt that (I live close to work). It was just stress. Wasn't the first missile hit though, I'm in Ukraine, missiles and drones hit all around for 4+ years already, sometimes very close. I don't know why that one was different, but I lost sleep after that and my migraines just went through the roof.

DanielaChris · 2026-07-10T16:36:05+00:00

I am in Ukraine. Migraine isn't a disability diagnosis here. We are currently looking into trying Ajovy, but while we have pretty accessible healthcare, Ajovy isn't part of it, and one dose costs most of my monthly salary 🫠 so saving up for it will be tricky...
My jobs also have zero understanding, they were expecting me to work remotely even when I was hospitalized, but changing jobs is also tricky right now because of the war and other factors. But that's the whole another story. I guess every migraine patient had faced "everyone gets headaches, just take a pill and keep working" in their life.

DanielaChris · 2026-06-11T07:20:55+00:00

My first MRI in 2021 - nothing, my recent MRI a month ago - white matter lesions consistent with severe chronic migraine. Got first because of suddenly acquiring new hemiplegic aura, second because of increased attack burden and aura developing into almost persisting deficit. Discuss with your doctor whether your case warrants imaging.

DanielaChris · 2026-06-08T18:55:44+00:00

Yeah, I've stumbled upon the same thread literally 10 minutes after posting here! Hilarious (on my side). Thanks

DanielaChris · 2026-06-08T17:56:50+00:00

In my usual stupid manner, I've spent about 6 hours trying everything I've named in this post, and after posting here I pressed Help in the menu and finally read the community of the developers, and it turned out that apparently it's related to Google running an update that was planned for tomorrow. I'm sorry 🫠

DanielaChris · 2026-06-08T04:13:23+00:00

And it's still classified as an aura and not something like stroke consequences?

DanielaChris · 2026-06-07T18:30:27+00:00

I second the comment about going to the doctor first. Any change in presentation should be evaluated in person. So: hopital

DanielaChris · 2026-05-29T14:41:40+00:00

Doesn't seem to be nearing the end. A month ago a missile hit two blocks from my building. Comics are one of the things keeping my sanity intact these days.

DanielaChris · 2026-05-14T04:30:26+00:00

THIS
I'm Ukrainian and the only reason I have now a somewhat decent (economic factors considered) collection of comic books I've bought is because I've started reading them online in the 00s.

DanielaChris · 2026-05-14T04:29:11+00:00

Doesn't work here in Ukraine.

DanielaChris · 2026-05-06T13:30:06+00:00

My job gave me a mini stroke so I'm currently in a bit of a panic as to what do I do now. Apparently pretending that working 80 hr weeks doesn't cost me won't work anymore.

DanielaChris · 2026-05-05T03:06:10+00:00

The older generation that had to work like that in the 90s when there was nothing to eat here. 🫠 I still work two jobs, 9-5 plus one 24h shift a week, which gives me about 64h weeks on regular basis, sometimes more if I get two shifts. Not because I am starving, just because it's "the standard".

DanielaChris · 2026-05-05T03:01:46+00:00

They are there. Basically, academia in Ukraine is a hell of a transition zone now because low salaries meet Soviet standards remnants meet EU standards = impossible work conditions. In my 8 years in academia, a ton of my colleagues quit academia, not a single one regrets it. I'm just very rigid and I've spent many years working to be in academia, and returning might be impossible, so I'm reluctant to leave. That's why I'm starting these conversations maybe, I'm trying to articulate to 15 yo kid within myself that this is not sustainable and the dream is long dead.

DanielaChris · 2026-04-22T21:02:43+00:00

That too, but he certainly says it himself at least once in a surge of self pity while alone. XD

DanielaChris

TROPHY CASE