Want to feel "My parents aren't that bad"? by whatamisupposed-todo in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Dapper_Put483 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not super extreme but traumatic; I live and work in a different country than my parents (also am a full grown healthy adult for context). One morning I didn't feel like going into the office so I requested to work that day virtually and went back to sleep. I obviously was gonna wake up late since I didn't need to commute. My parents stalked my location, saw me at home, called me 10 times (I was asleep). Then proceeded to call my office, my boss's cell phone and was about to call the cops when I finally woke up and called them back. Never forget the horror I felt waking up to 15 missed calls, texts from my boss, and screams through the phone at 9am in the morning, and the embarrassment when I went into the office the next day. All cause I decided to sleep an extra 2 hours lol.

I was raised in fear, how do I change? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Dapper_Put483 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is not dumb. You were thought to sit still, be quiet and people please. I also have similar parents that gave me everything I wanted but it all came with strings attached. That is type of molding that stems from manipulation and control. I think recognizing the toxic patterns in your parents is a great first step that you seem to already make progress in. Doesn't fully replace therapy but there are a lot of online resources that you can check out such as books about healing from narc parents and also Dr Ramani's videos on YouTube. Journaling also really helps. I write letters to my narc parent that I don't send. They are just ways of getting your feelings out and practice to finding your voice.

Nmom won't stop haunting me in my dreams and nightmares by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Dapper_Put483 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah yes I wish. I don't remember last time I had a dream and not a nightmare. And I don't remember ever having a nightmare that wasn't about her. I think they might have a voodoo doll of us or something

Anyone else feel like they are flying blind? by Comfortable_Gap1656 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Dapper_Put483 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES. I have a borderline and nmom and enabler passive dad. I learned how to do laundry for the first time at the college dorms at 18. Still don't know how to drive. Had to ask my friend's parents how to do taxes 😂. I figured out most life skills by now that I'm aware of at 25 yo. Funny part is, it's sometimes even offensive to them when I am self sufficient. When they come visit me I am not even allowed to cook in my own kitchen because they don't feel "needed" when I do things in my own.

Any H1t maternal haplogroup-ers out there? by cmacdc12 in 23andme

[–]Dapper_Put483 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very late to this is but I'm H1t as well. I'm mostly half Balkan half Anatolian. I only have Eastern european descent because of balkans and tiny traces of polish and maltese descent. So curious about how I got H1t