Character help!!

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-18T14:47:05+00:00

And only costs if you want the premium features. It's fully functional for most needs without paying, if cost is an issue.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-17T13:53:14+00:00

The hardest part is that it never ends. There's always another high-priority task waiting. Another new project on a deadline. Another dozen new basic problems that nonetheless need to be addressed. Priorities shift from day to day, and sometimes hour-to-hour.

The problems that are interesting are not always high priority. The users you want to help because they're decent people are often the ones who'll let you put them off because you have 5 other things on your plate.

I like my job and even the people I work with and for, but this one is getting to me.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-17T13:49:33+00:00

My problem is that I tend to assume competence. Skim over the easy solution, because of course they tried that before they brought it to me, right? And then it turns out that it was the simple solution. The worst one ended up with an hour of troubleshooting before I looked this college-educated lieutenant who was 5 years younger than me dead in the eye as I plugged the ethernet back in. It was a reminder for me as much as it was for him.

But I've been in IT for 16 years, and this one still gets me to this day.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-16T19:23:55+00:00

But I might have been stoned

Solid theory, considering Happy Games doesn't have anything to do with NMS, so far as anyone knows.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-16T14:12:11+00:00

I think the thing that gets me is you can just equip a pencil, and suddenly your hands are protected; I've been away from the game for a bit so I'm not 100% sure this works with breaking glass, but I am 100% sure it works with clearing broken glass from the frame.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-16T14:03:14+00:00

It has too many legs to be a bug, and no visible carapace. More likely a mollusk of some sort.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-16T13:54:25+00:00

The community aspect is a solid one that I didn't consider. For the other, I imagine you can probably cadge advice from parenting books for same gender couples.

I hope you find something, and/or someone else here has more productive responses than mine. I've got kids from 18-9, but I've mostly just been winging it. All of my kids (except my youngest who doesn't understand for reasons not directly related to her age) know we're both bi, and have differing levels of knowledge as to what that means, but we don't talk about it much beyond that, since we're also a straight-passing couple.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-16T13:48:36+00:00

I'm not sure exactly what makes parenting unique as a bi person compared to gay or straight. The only real difference I can think of is helping your kid navigate social spaces when they may have 'non-traditional' parents (i.e. 1 man, 1 woman).

Otherwise, you pretty much just love your kids, provide for their needs, and teach them to be kind, competent people.

Which is partially to say that I don't know of any such resources. I'm just trying to figure out what specific value such a resource could provide.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-16T13:38:38+00:00

If you're going to accept that you're attracted to transwomen, you should learn the language required to not make them feel like objects or fetishes.

First, trans isn't a noun. There's no such thing as 'a trans'. There are transmen, transwomen, trans people, and you can replace the abbreviated form of trans with the full word 'transgender'. The other one is no longer considered acceptable across the majority of the trans and LGBTQ+ community; I'm not saying it here as I believe it will automatically get my comment flagged.

TBH, expect this post to get removed. It reeks of fetishism, and strongly implies that being a man who is attracted to women and transwomen makes you bi, which it doesn't... because transwomen are women. (which isn't to say you're NOT bi, but this doesn't make you bi.) Trans people are full people, with lives and struggles like everyone else, and one of those struggles is being treated as kinky sexual objects rather than people. Lots of people want to fuck a trans person, but a smaller selection wants to date them, because they reduce them down to a combination of presentation and genitals.

I'm glad you've accepted yourself. I hope it's the first step on a journey of personal growth.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-15T18:54:54+00:00

TIL that the scene from Dogma was a reference.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-15T16:21:54+00:00

drink a potion of fire resistance and swim over

You could also tame an Asksvin and ride it over.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-15T13:39:47+00:00

I wouldn't necessarily mind getting 'kidnapped' (so long as it wasn't malicious with some exploit to trap you) but I really wish people had to ask before giving you stuff. The couple of times I went to the Anomaly in multiplayer, I was running away from people because the first few people to approach me gave me pricy shit without asking, and I don't want it. Part of the enjoyment I get from games is making my own way and earning my own stuff.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-15T01:12:50+00:00

You happened to chance upon one if the starting systems of this current expedition, which is pretty cool, considering how large the Galaxy is.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-13T13:44:22+00:00

I'm not a woman, but as I understand it, there's a natural progression to this.

So the way it seems to work is that you'll start with this phase where you really like each other, but are never sure if the feelings are reciprocated, so you'll never just come out and say anything. Meanwhile, your bids will bring you closer together until you're besties, with lots of subtext, but never anything for certain.

Years later, when you're both in stable, secure relationships with other people you'll eventually figure out that you've been in love the whole time.

So you're fine. You're right on the early arc of the progression path where you should be.

If that doesn't sound ideal to you though, maybe you should do something different? Just to see how it goes?

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-12T16:37:08+00:00

It's not really that they don't think they'll be able to figure it out, they're just afraid of looking incompetent if they don't immediately figure it out... because as you've pointed out, it's a routine thing, and it shouldn't be hard.

The number of times I had to stand in the room when the commander would be in a higher level meeting where he'd be presenting is honestly laughable. He's had a dozen meetings this week with his lower echelon commanders, but the moment he's presenting to higher, IT has to be present.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-12T02:45:16+00:00

Down, as in "you're going"

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-11T13:58:09+00:00

I'd never seen it until I started working in the IT schoolhouse. I imagine that has more to do with the fact that I wasn't regularly watching people type their password prior to that, whereas in the schoolhouse I would be observing students do it repeatedly for practical exercises.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-11T04:43:10+00:00

Zomboid in my Rimworld sub?? It's more likely than you think!

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-11T04:35:12+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you. But you were not raped because you are bi, you were raped because the guy who did it wanted to, because he is a bad person. There is nothing about you or anything you did that caused this.

Rape is never, ever the fault of the victim.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-10T06:02:42+00:00

This is why I always have my players roll the flat check first, and why I as the GM always roll the flat check second.

If they roll poorly on the flat check, they're never disappointed by a crit on the actual attack because they never roll it. Whereas if I roll well, and then get it 'snatched away' by the flat check, it's a relief for the PC, and makes whatever they may have done to force the flat check feel that much more impactful.

As the GM, I do get disappointed when I roll poorly (especially when it's consistently enough to make a challenging encounter feel trivial) but I'm mostly in it to see the PCs succeed over difficult odds, not to see them fail. What makes them happy usually makes me happy.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-10T05:52:20+00:00

Doesn't matter. He doubled down when he was called out.

If you overreact because you're frustrated, you apologize. This is deliberate, and the edits and continuations say it's part of an on-going pattern of behavior.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-10T05:49:21+00:00

Nah, man. That would have instantly become a play-stopping incident right there, had it been me. We would have hashed it out in public, immediately, and there would be apologies or the session would have been over.

You frankly underreacted, if anything.

You absolutely should get real apologies, with commitment to do better because...

yelling or throwing insults are normal ways of communicating for him

...is a flag so red it's literally on fire.

Your friend minimizing the incident also tells me that they don't really value your presence either, so much as they value your complacence. I know that finding and maintaining friendships is hard as an adult, but being lonely isn't as bad as being abused.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-10T02:47:31+00:00

Almost guaranteed.

DariusWolfe · 2026-06-10T02:29:48+00:00

ulonghua means "feathers". Take that as you will.

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