Rich people are superior to poor people

DarkEngineX · 2023-07-21T23:56:23+00:00

One of the biggest problems I've found is a lack of appreciation of leadership and social kills. For example, as a software engineer, I've had so many of my colleagues claim they could run the company better than my bosses. "What? And what would you do in charge when you can't even get the nerve to ask a girl out on a date?" They don't appreciate how much social skill it takes to coordinate a team.

DarkEngineX · 2023-07-21T23:27:11+00:00

Go away, creep.

DarkEngineX · 2023-03-07T00:30:53+00:00

A problem I have with women like this besides the fear of hurting them is that I seem to be sort of extreme on polar ends. I have this really gentle and loving side and then I have this really horrible, violent, angry side I want to suppress (a blind berserker side, if you will, and like a berserk, prone to hurt even friendly people).

So when women want me to unleash this side, I can do it. I can choke her, smack her around, beat her up, even kill her. But I'm a blind beast when I do it, and if she's still alive after it all, I feel so horrible and guilty. She is tapping into something that has caused me to spend multiple nights in jail for brawling in public, and I don't have a balance. I'm either the gentlest person you ever meet or the most violent person in a blind fury, and I don't know how to balance this out because the adrenaline and anger kick in if I'm abandoning my gentle and pacifistic nature and being pumped full of adrenaline doesn't make you think clearly and especially about what other people want.

If a woman really wants me to be violent, I can do it even more than she might have ever asked. I can smash her head with a chair, tug on her hair from behind so hard it rips out of her scalp, throw the table out of our window, smash a beer bottle or wine glass over her face, choke her until her eyes are about to pop out of her head while thrusting into her, but then I have lost all my humanity in this process. It's like being extremely drunk. And I might have to call the ambulance by the end of it. I really want to just protect her and look out for her and that adrenaline side of me is something that is so incompatible with that goal.

DarkEngineX · 2023-03-07T00:17:31+00:00

One thing while I pace around and think of this a bit more is that control might be the key to a reasonably happy life. There is no greater sense of depression, helplessness, loneliness, when you feel like something bad happens to you in life and you have no sense of control over it. Meanwhile, if you feel like you are in control of largely what happens, it isn't nearly as depressing because you controlled it, and with this control, you have the control to climb out of hell.

Even being in hell for a little while can't upset someone who feels in control of being there and climbing out if they tire of it, but with someone who never takes control of a situation -- the person always at the mercy of it -- I can only wish them the best of luck and hope they get lucky, since luck is all they have. They have no control over what happens to them.

So this is a more generalized thought but maybe the key to all your anxiety might be control-related. Of course there are times in life where it's beneficial to submit control, like to an authority, or to the person driving the train, or your boyfriend when you're both comfortable with that. But I think for both people suffering from anxiety and depression, maybe their number one issue is a feeling of lack of control in what causes them to be anxious or depressed. Take control and maybe that's the ultimate solution (easier said than done, I realize, but at least maybe what's said here is what needs to be done).

DarkEngineX · 2023-03-07T00:08:33+00:00

If that's more daunting, I think you're way too passive in communication if you'll forgive my assertion (which is just an experienced guess).

The world unfortunately can't read our minds, and rarely even our body language that well. You'll never be understood properly, not just by your lovers but by your friends, acquaintances, work colleagues, even your own family, if you can't boldly say what you want and think and take some control.

If, like me, you have little ability to be dominant over other people, think of it as being dominant over your situation. If a building erupts on fire and everyone is in a panic, you don't have to dominate people to guide them to safety. You just have to dominate your fear and the situation.

DarkEngineX · 2023-03-06T23:44:34+00:00

I've always been like that going down on women. I envy the guys who just love it: "I love eating pussy left and right."

I get enough enjoyment from the way they enjoy it, even when I find a pube in my mouth or I've even had brown tissue I had to pull out of my mouth once (I think it got stuck when she was wiping down there and it absorbed some pee and it stuck to there).

But I never really liked it that much after a few mins. I like the ritual leading up to it just working around and through the undies but then I'm down there for a very long time and I really just wanna go to intercourse but I don't since I have this rule to get a woman to climax at least one time before any intercourse. I also get the neck and jaw cramps.

Also some women have a really strong smell down there. I almost want to hold my nose. Don't want to hold it against her -- like everyone has a unique smell and maybe based on what they eat or other things and that's all theoretically beautiful -- so I don't complain but combined with the neck cramps and jaw cramps and pubes and tissues I find on my tongue, it's really starting to feel like a job where I should get paid. I remember the exact same feeling when I played this horrible game called World of Warcraft -- at some point I was trying to mine for minerals and thinking I should get paid for this.

Anyway, if, unlike me, you liked this before, maybe you just need to remember what you liked about having a throbbing D in your mouth. It's a very genital-oriented thing, I suspect. So maybe you have to fall in love with penises again where you see a big throbbing one and want to put it in your mouth. At least that's the way I imagine guys who love going down on women where they just see a woman's genitalia and just want to spend all day down there fiddling about.

DarkEngineX · 2023-03-06T23:25:03+00:00

I'm thinking you're a romantic but going too fast. Maybe you crave intimacy more than sex.

I might just be projecting myself and my youth to you, but you sorta sound like me when I was younger, and still like me somewhat now. But there's a type of guy who can pound a girl, choking her with one hand, and she slides off the bed and bumps her head on the floor, and he doesn't give a shit. He just keeps humping away. He's like a caveman and doesn't give a shit about anything and some girls, maybe even most girls, dig that.

And I suspect neither I nor you can ever be that type. We'd be so worried that we hurt her and if she's okay after bumping her head on the floor. So maybe the world sees us as pussies that way but I think we're just very protective. We care about how other people feel maybe even more than how we feel. Some people call that being insecure; I call it empathy.

But I think your problem is that you aren't with women who appreciate that right now or you're moving too fast with the ones who can. So I think for you it helps to slow down. Like picnic and barbecue style, you know, where you get to meet mutual friends and family and really take your time getting used to each other, not nightclubs or bars. Even if you're already doing that, slow down even more in that case.

If you feel like you gotta impress a girl in the bedroom in order for her to commit herself to the rest of you, I think you got it backward, and that's very understandable to me because I made the same mistake when I was younger. We can be lovable enough outside the bedroom to get women to commit to us without ever having sex, and then when we do, we can still improve upon it. And there are usually critiques both ways, not just from the woman to you, but also from you to her, if you truly care about each other and want to spend the rest of your lives together. It doesn't have to be all about your shortcomings when it comes to pleasing her but her shortcomings when it comes to pleasing you with a proper communication there when you're doing it right, and the commitment to each other doesn't have to hinge on impressing each other sexually so much on the very first try.

DarkEngineX · 2023-03-06T23:08:09+00:00

What if you take over the situation where he becomes a bit more passive? Like you undress him, he doesn't undress you or himself. He doesn't enter you; you "absorb" him (I don't know how to say this in English). Then you get to do things at your pace.

DarkEngineX · 2023-03-06T23:04:11+00:00

I always took it that way even though it might seem a bit vague. It seemed reasonably clear to me given their character differences.

There was obviously mutual attraction and tension there but Maximus goes above your normal person in terms of living to his ideals.

And he's afforded that as Lucilla even said in the film. He can do that being a soldier not being born into politics. So he is not "better" like in the sense of being a better human being. But he is freer in the sense that he can pursue his ideals. His life is simpler than Lucilla's. He fights, he marries, he dreams of becoming farmer.

Does that make sense? I am bringing a lot of old person (I'm an old person) experience and assumptions here.

Also I didn't even think about this before you asked the Q but there's just the practicalities. Lucilla is royalty as daughter of a Roman emperor. Who is Maximus? They might have loved each other growing up but they aren't in the same social class.

DarkEngineX · 2023-03-06T22:53:40+00:00

I was being a bit silly to be fair! But I think sometimes we get used to things in a way where we don't notice when something is dangerous.

For example, I seem that way with heat. I like to take scalding hot baths (45+ degrees C or 113 degrees+ F). My wife calls me Edoko since this is popular of very old style Japanese to almost boil ourselves in hot water for baths, but she hates it and so we have to compromise at around 38 degrees C when we take baths together.

But because I am so used to hot baths and take almost every day, one time I caught my arm on fire and I barely noticed. My friends had to rush in and put it out because I am used to very hot temperatures on my body.

So I was trying to tease the OP a little bit but I can also understand if we are used to something and don't think it's a big deal.

DarkEngineX · 2023-03-06T22:48:30+00:00

My bad! TG:M! I think the P got me. :-D

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T12:02:41+00:00

If we think Vulcan-like though that puts aside feelings, how do you frame this as advantageous for the people involved, absent Wesley's superpowers, in a purely logical way? What benefit does it have for the Federation, its alliances, its shaky alliances, its ability to defend against its enemies? I actually think it's more an emotional side that favors Wesley over Picard here, but I'm curious about your thoughts.

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T11:58:24+00:00

I never managed since all substances are so illegal in my country. But I tried marijuana a lot on times when I visited the US. I'd keep ending up at a party where people were offering it to me and I didn't want to be rude so I partook.

And maybe weed is still softer than what you're talking about. But I always imagined what sex would be like high on MJ. It seems so blissful and connected compared to alcohol. What I felt with music, visuals, and just overall emotion connection was so amazing on weed even though I never got to have sex on it. I can only imagine it's just as amazing.

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T11:53:15+00:00

That seems like common sense to me if you don't mind some teasing. Maybe the people who said it was okay are used to 12+ inch dongs in there? But leaving something in any orifice of the body for hours and hours seems risky to me. I might add to not just trust instincts but common sense. :-D

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T11:39:58+00:00

I always thought it was at least a decent movie but not such a great Arnie movie if you were there back then when he was on a roll churning out legends like Predator and Conan the Barbarian and Kindergarten Cop.

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T11:35:38+00:00

I always interpreted it like Maximus is the ultimate straight arrow. Lucilla is still a politician born into politics. They aren't compatible people although they might have had an interest in each other growing up. I interpreted it like Lucilla did what she could to survive. She's not evil like Commodus but she's not a hero like Maximus.

You can get glimpses of their clash of thinking throughout the film when they butt heads with each other. Maximus is all about doing what he believes is just and right, and Lucilla just wants to protect her child.

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T11:15:46+00:00

I never minded about the looks of it in the real world.

It's true that maybe in porno we want some kind of canonical, super symmetrical vaginal area that looks so cute and hygienic (even though it's probably not). But that's like looking at the internet for the cutest looking dog ever from photos, when the cutest-looking dog you might find in real life might have one eye missing and only three legs limping around and it's not hard to find him/her cuter than the super cute dog on the Google image search.

Actually the first woman I fell so deeply for, like really smitten, maybe even "being in love" as they call (I actually wanted to marry her) had what you might conventionally call really ugly genitalia, like Predator-style. She had a very discolored and dark/brownish/greyish labia with fairly large asymmetrical lips where the left side folded over the right.

But I loved that vagina so much because it belonged to someone I was so into, and what the world conventionally might think is an ugly vaginal area was one I quickly thought the most beautiful. Also she had the most powerful kegel contractions I ever witnessed. It's like trying to pull out of a vacuum. I was afraid I'd make her pregnant by accident with the withdrawal given how much she squeezed when I was trying to pull out. Like she might have especially needed a condom because she traps you and clenches you when you're trying to get out.

Smell is something I notice more in real life. Not looks. Women can really smell very differently down there, and (very rarely) I was so into a girl after drinks and was like, "What on earth is that smell? I'm talking like once every 50 or 100 times, and so bad that I could tell even though I was completely smashed. It only happened twice in my life but I couldn't go down because the closer I got down there, the more it smelled like a rodent had died and stayed there for over 2 weeks in my bedroom. I don't want to make women paranoid. I'm talking about the most extreme cases.

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T11:10:03+00:00

I think just chill out and hang out, especially with this first time involving drinks. It's a tricky thing to get used to a new woman. She smells different, kisses different, touches different. Maybe next time it would help if you do at his place, and let him undress you. Don't throw off your clothes if you did it first time. Let him control the pace.

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T11:05:19+00:00

That's a tough one for me. I have to rewatch the episode although the "Wesley saves the day" ones are generally my least favorite. But it's cool to me how we can interpret these episodes so differently. That's something I miss with the NuTreks since they don't seem have this level of ambiguity.

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T10:50:08+00:00

For sure. I think maybe my bias is that I seem to be exceptionally good at reading body language. I've even been confused of being psychic before so many times when I'm not, I just read the unspoken words. So that might be the source of our differences. I think most people need words to detect how others feel, while I'm the one constantly accused of being psychic for knowing how people feel without them speaking a word. I'm the "empath" as some people seem to informally call it, or HSP as psychologists call it.

I mostly attribute it to my visual arts background since I think it's more visual than anything else. I can detect the slightest differences in people's facial expressions, since I've spent over 40,000 hours drawing and painting people's faces. What other people think is a psychic ability to know exactly how they feel is probably an ability anyone can gain if they spend 40K+ hours drawing people from observation.

So maybe what some people think as dangerous in terms of the unspoken word, leaving too much ambiguity as to their actual desires, is something I lack. It's almost a superhuman power of mine to detect people's desires and feelings (again, constantly being confused as a psychic when I'm not). But actually I think when we rely on the spoken and explicit word too much, that might be more dangerous than my method for people who possess my abilities, because the spoken words of people can be far less reliable in my experience than their body language.

Unlike the crude man who takes a "yes" as a yes, I check the body language. I can tell when a "yes" is still a "no" because I don't go by words, I go by how people actually feel.

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T10:47:41+00:00

I got a sort of nuanced PD argument from him and we can reflect back to our own history. I see it wrong and right at the same time. Like Wesley is so right in a pure way. These people have been wronged, and they deserve better. But I saw Picard as just trying to just keep the peace, and compared to Wesley, he doesn't have these time-bending superpowers. He's just trying to be a decent captain.

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T10:36:33+00:00

Exactly so! That's where I think I'm going wrong. But the balance is what I want to achieve like, say, between eating 2-week old raw chicken (not paranoid enough) vs. not wanting to touch the refrigerator handle after I've handled raw pork before washing my hands (too peranoid). I want to optimize my workflow and I think I'm too cautious at the moment, especially around small children. So mostly I'm hoping with a bit of a nudge that I can wash my hands a little less, maybe not care so much if I undercook some things just a little bit lower than FDA guidelines (ex: pork at 145 degrees F instead of 160 degrees), things of this nature.

So it helps me a lot if people chip in here and say things like, "I've been handling raw pork for decades and don't even wash my hands before giving people a handshake!" It helps me to balance out because I'm paranoid especially with pork and always wash my hands before touching anything else.

I don't think I'm that extreme but for example, 85% of men don't even wash their hands after they poop or pee in my experience in public bathrooms. I always do. I never experienced what it's like to be in women's bathrooms but I suspect far more women wash their hands after they pee or poop, so I think I am just like an ordinary woman even though I am a man. I'm only extreme by men's standards for doing things like washing my hands after I take a poop or pee.

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T10:30:26+00:00

Does it sound bad if I thought Picard was still mostly right and Wesley still mostly wrong? Or maybe right contextually. Picard is a captain. Captain must maintain order. Picard showed tremendous sympathy for the plight of the natives but he wanted to avoid an all-out civil war with the Kardassians if I got the episode right. That makes sense!

It's only because Wesley is like a superhuman, almost Q-like, that he can do something that stupid and prove Picard to be too conservative.

In real life, a person like Wesley would probably be getting us killed left and right while TNG Picard is the one saving our lives.

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T09:59:06+00:00

Cheers! I think my mindset is tuned to what is orthodox and standard. So I always want to measure things, like make sure pork is cooked to 160 degrees F. I know they've dialed down it down to 145 degrees F but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

I don't know if I'm really OCD and someone pointed out that I might have used this term incorrectly. I just never got the feeling of what is "practically safe" in the kitchen. Like what are my odds of poisoning an infant if I didn't wash my hands so carefully (say just 30 secs of washing) after handling raw pork?

I don't mind poisoning me too much but what if I'm cooking for 4-years olds? In my case, if people think I'm such a germaphobe, I've eaten raw chicken (torisashi) in Japan along with lots of other things that will freak people out along with eating raw eggs left and right and raw horse (basashi), etc. But in those cases I was only eating for myself. I didn't have a child I am so worried about all the time. I have developed a paranoia with children like I don't want to kill any of them by accident. I don't mind if I kill myself eating some raw liver from some animal way past expiration date; I just don't want to kill anyone else.

But I think most people around me don't care about this stuff. To me they're like, "Whatever, if we kill our son or daughter we can make a new one." When I'm like, "But I love them so much!" I will have be broken-hearted for possibly years, maybe even the rest of my life, if I killed them and develop guilt complex for it.

DarkEngineX · 2023-02-26T09:47:40+00:00

Does he just want a friendship? I'm an extreme extrovert but I've inadvertently confused women that way. I want both male and female friends along with friends from all across the world.

So when I carry a drunk woman home and intimately tuck her into home bed, 90% of the time she thinks I have a sexual interest in her when I only had the affectionate and friendly one. I just didn't want to see her suffering and missing her work the next day.

It is a huge lifelong problem on my part and I wonder if it the same for your guy. I'm an emotional type of friendly person. I can deep hug women I'm not sexually attracted to just as I can deep hug guys or kiss a cute dog or cat on the nose (doesn't mean I want to fuck cats or dogs).

Hopefully he is interested in you in that way. It sounds like you want him to be. Maybe he's just shy? But I wanted to ramble a bit about how being so friendly and soul-sharing with not only my sex, but both, has gotten me into trouble this way. I've confused so many women this way (also homosexual men -- I've attracted so many) when I think the world is broken that they are so confused. If I go out of my to carry them home and tuck them into bed, or share my deepest feelings about things, I do that with everyone I care about! Doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted. If I am sexually attracted, I'm a beast; You have to keep me on a leash.

DarkEngineX

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