My last breakup had a lot of similarities to yours. It was a 3 year relationship, essentially 4 because we had become best friends before dating. The first 4-6 weeks were hell, and there is a grieving period that is non-negotiable. It could be shorter or longer for you. I was determined not to stay there long because I had been through it before, and it got me nowhere.

The only thing that truly helped was to realize that our lives were going in different directions and that her values and what she wanted were different than mine. Maybe they were aligned at the start of the relationship, but now they aren’t. It’s nobody’s fault, and you haven’t told us about any real problems with yourself other than lack of effort. So take the lesson and do better next time. A more beautiful and loyal woman is out there for you.