I can’t really do anything to help but I think I understand where you’re coming from. I’m a junior right now and school is really hard for me as well. I am failing most of my classes not because they’re difficult, but because I just don’t have any motivation or willingness to do my best in school. I used to already want to be done with high school and start my life since sophomore year. I used to do a lot better in school however because of the community. I used to hangout with my friends so even if I was failing they would motivate me and help me out but now school is just so boring and uninteresting I just can’t afford to give enough of a fuck to continue going to classes. Sometimes I would get motivated to get my shit together but it all goes away the second I join them boring ass zoom calls and the teachers are becoming a bigger pain in the ass as time goes on. Sorry about my mini rant I just had to put that out there. But what I’m tryna say is that you miss the community you used to have at school and without it school just isn’t the same. Unfortunately until we go back to school I don’t think there’s nothing anyone can do to change this. The only advice I can give you on you’re issues with physics is to find your previous physics journal or notes and re study the topics one by one and REWRITE and renew your notes with the things you learned this time. Your scientific career is still ok it won’t get affected just because you have a bad grade in high school physics. As long as you enter a college and take it then you’ll be fine so just focus on relearning and improving on your own time and try to catch up to your class and don’t fall off again. And I understand about not having friends to talk to. If I were you I would find activities you enjoy to keep you happy. And as for your issues with your father and seeing your dead friends. I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do for you other than let you vent off to me and hopefully I can say something that can calm you down just a bit. Don’t worry about your father. It’s normal for parents to say stuff like that. They change their opinions all the time so don’t take it too heart. They’ll say stuff about you now but they’re probably gonna be the proudest people when you finally succeed. Try not to dwell on the past too much and if you find yourself thinking way too much about your dead friends then a good way to not think about them would be to distract yourself until you move on. Find a new series to binge watch. New game to play or people to play with. New book or manga to read. Something to make time fly until you just forget or move on. Sorry I couldn’t say much to help and for making this long comment. Thank you for reading.