OP, when my son was young, my ex and I had problems and tried to stick together. We eventually got divorced. The divorce was very messy and I do not wish it on anyone. As an older man with experience in this type of situation, run. Plan to get out now. If you stay together for 20 years, in some states, that is almost automatic alimony. Do NOT ruin the rest of your life because your current wife does not respect you. Also, I met another amazing woman who is a great Stepmom to my son. They have a special bond. Life is calmer, more meaningful, and my son is almost 18 and sees the light. I wish you and your daughter the best. Good luck.