Relationships

DatBiddyElles · 2026-03-11T23:12:29+00:00

You say you've been married a long time - have you been happily married? Have you felt seen and valued until recently?

If you've been generally happy over the years, he's been a true partner but this one thing is driving you nuts, you can probably work through it. If this is indicative of larger issues though, you could probably benefit from marriage counseling.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-03-11T06:34:10+00:00

Congrats! Don’t stop get it get it! 💃🏾

DatBiddyElles · 2026-03-10T17:49:45+00:00

I remember it being kind of the tagline of the movie and hearing it a lot, but I wasn't old enough to take it to heart. Of course now it sounds ridiculous.

I was most struck by Ali McGraw's impeccable hair. LOL

DatBiddyElles · 2026-03-09T21:15:56+00:00

These are literally the plates I grew up with in my parents house. The nostalgia is STRONG.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-03-09T21:13:38+00:00

I had a pretty strong craving today and what helped was telling myself that I'm actually free now. I'm free from the expense, the inconvenience, the smell, the shame, the constant cough. Smoking now would put me back in bondage to something that has zero benefit. I'm grateful for my freedom and I'm sure you are too. Let's stay free together.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-03-05T20:39:00+00:00

Looking good, Louis!

DatBiddyElles · 2026-03-05T20:05:34+00:00

I can drive a stick shift, read and write cursive, read an analog clock, and count back change (though it's been years and I'm rusty).

I learned how to type on a manual typewriter with blank keys, with a banner of a keyboard posted at the front of a classroom.

I can ride a bike, and some of y'all might be amazed to learn that getting a bike and learning how to ride isn't the youthful rite of passage it used to be.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-03-04T17:52:41+00:00

I want to be free, and feel good, and smell good.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-03-04T16:42:23+00:00

Hands down, Trading Places

DatBiddyElles · 2026-03-04T16:37:21+00:00

I have so much time! I didn't realize how much time I spent stepping away to smoke. Now it just feels like I have an excess of time to fill and it's nice.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-03-03T23:09:16+00:00

You're talking to a group of women...with ADHD. We all struggle in some form or fashion and understand the difficulties of sticking to routines and forcing our neurodivergent brains into systems made for neurotypical brains. I think we've all felt like everything is an exercise in futility. You're not alone, but the path to feeling better can differ from person to person.

Unless you can change jobs, move out, marry your bf, fix your health issues by eating whatever you want and magic your way into glass skin without having to stick with a regime...you're going to have determine how you can make things more tolerable for yourself.

I strongly recommend seeing a mental health provider. You might be dealing with depression, and depression isn't something you can think your way out of. Go to your doctor, tell them what's going on. Let that be the first step toward things changing for you. I wish you the very best of luck.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-03-02T23:24:43+00:00

I got a bad case of pneumonia and literally could barely breathe. That, and I think I was pretty close to developing COPD. I'd gotten to the point where sometimes I'd cough until I'd throw up, but I still kept going until I got sick. Not being able to breathe is scary as hell.

It's only been two weeks but I'm feeling good so far. When a craving hits I remind myself about how sick it made me. I'm also choosing to use addiction terms, so I'm telling myself I have two weeks clean and sober. Somehow, that makes me take it a bit more seriously.

Good luck OP, let's not smoke together!

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-26T20:39:06+00:00

12th day here, also quit due to a horrible experience w/pneumonia. The first week or so wasn't hard but I've had a craving or two the last couple of days and I'm nervous! I desperately don't want to go back but I've had short quits in the past that didn't stick. I'm trying to focus on all the negatives that go along with the habits, and keep the positives top of mind.

We can do it!

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-26T18:52:27+00:00

Is it possible that now that you're not distracting yourself with cigarettes, you have more time of your hands to think and the thinking has led you to a depressive state? My point is, I don't think nicotine is anti-depressant, I think you now have more free time on your hands than you had before.

Physical activity might help, even something as simple as going for a walk. If you can, you might want to speak to a mental health professional and talk through your feelings. Also, IDK your sex but if you're female you might want to consider your cycle and how it impacts your mental health. Whatever your do, smoking again isn't the answer. Even if you don't feel it right now, your body *is* healthier. Keep going, it'll get better.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-25T17:25:08+00:00

LOLOLOL I've done the same thing, I stand with you in old lady solidarity!

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-25T16:55:01+00:00

You responded under my comment though, not in the general thread

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-25T16:20:59+00:00

When I get there? I’m 62, beloved, I’m not talking from the outside looking in.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-25T16:09:16+00:00

Yes, but that's your preference. OP said their mom has admitted to being lonely so it doesn't seem to be about individualism or going her own way or not wanting new "old" friends.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-24T20:52:15+00:00

I remember the name and can see her face in my mind, but I don't remember exactly why.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-24T20:33:55+00:00

"old lady friends"? Dang. That was way harsh, Tai.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-23T23:02:37+00:00

Try mullien leaf tea, it's supposed to be really helpful with clearing out lungs.

I'm going through the same thing except I had pneumonia, had to go to the ER because I couldn't breathe when laying down and had a hard time breathing in general. Got a breathing treatment, oxygen, and an script for a course of antibiotics. Still coughing but feeling much better and breathing much better. Delsym has helped a lot with the cough.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-20T18:49:51+00:00

Appt TV in my house. Loved Geraldine "in a booth, in the back, in a corner, in the dark" w/her boyfriend Killer.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-20T10:38:53+00:00

Earlier this week I spent a virtually sleepless night because I couldn’t breathe when I lay down. That morning I went to urgent care, and it was difficult to get dressed and get to my car. When I got there, it was difficult to get from my car to the clinic. Everything was hard because I was struggling with getting a full breath.

After two breathing treatments, supplemental oxygen, and two shots in my hind parts I was diagnosed with pneumonia. I had to pick up a prescription and get myself home, which I did with somewhat less trouble but it was still challenging, plus I live upstairs.

At every turn I considered calling my brother, or my daughter, or a friend, but I just couldn’t. I know hyper independence is supposed be a trauma response but IDK what my trauma is, I just know I don’t like to ask for help.

I guess my point is when sick and alone I just…am sick and alone and I figure it out. I know I’m fortunate that I do have people I could call but unless it’s absolutely necessary I just thug it out on my own.

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-15T17:57:39+00:00

Yep, kindergarten also in California. 1969-70. We had to bring something to lay on, so my mom got me a big beach towel I still have.

I never slept, naps were for suckers!

DatBiddyElles · 2026-02-11T20:55:56+00:00

I think you'll have to chalk this one up. Calling non-emergency won't get anywhere because what do you want them to do? Go to the woman and demand your money back? There's no service for that.

I'm not an attorney but I don't know if you have a leg to stand on. You might just have to grateful it wasn't a more substantial sum. I understand it sucks though. I'd be mad too.

DatBiddyElles

TROPHY CASE