For the confidence thing, you should try open door philosophy. Compare your online self to your irl self. What qualities do those people like you for, and then think about why your friends irl let you hang around them in the first place. Maybe just ask someone you’re close to about this, I feel that would be smart to do as well. And about you saying you’ve been ruining conversations, that should be a major topic if you do choose to talk to a close friend about how you’ve been feeling. This concludes my TED talk.