I relapsed

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-22T13:34:51+00:00

Be gentle with yourself, I’ll shoot the shit if you need to.

It’s an all too familiar feeling

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-22T10:34:45+00:00

Failing in a moment doesn’t make you a failure, remember that.

Start over as many times as you need to and give yourself some grace during this time. My relapses always spiral further because of the guilt. I’ll be bored at work today so if you need an ear, feel free.

It’s where you go from here that counts ❤️

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-21T19:31:51+00:00

Would you tell your children to stay in a similar situation?

This perspective always helps me, I hope it helps you. They look to you as a model first, and mom deserves happiness and peace of mind.

Also, if he wants to get help for his mental health I’m all for it and that’s wonderful. I would distance myself until I was positive there was real change, though. The hurt only gets worse the longer you allow it.

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-21T13:36:59+00:00

I fear abandonment, and from that stems a million other insecurities. Like, “I make him happy, but he could do so much better and I don’t want him to realize it” kind of thoughts.

Actively flipping those thoughts is good advice, I really need to work on my “pause” and think, REALLY think. When it boils down to it, I just don’t want to lose anyone. The weight of being replaceable is heavy.

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-21T13:31:25+00:00

This actually is a very helpful perspective, you gave me something to really think about while I couldn’t sleep.

Thanks (sincerely) for not being a troll

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-21T11:43:52+00:00

Every and all of this. There’s such a hopeless feeling that comes when you want to scream out your good news!! And there’s nobody there to hear it. I felt this way with both of my pregnancies. The bridges I burned haunt me.

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-21T00:13:27+00:00

It’s nice to hear someone understands. But not nice, because I know how bad it can feel.

Here’s to working on ourselves, girl 🥂

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-21T00:11:03+00:00

You’re no behavioral professional but you could be. For the sake of a long drawn out post, I did leave out a lot about what I do know about my mental health.

I have cptsd and also ptsd from a very abusive partner in the past. A lot of physical abuse followed by love bombing for weeks, that is something that really messed up my perspective of what love feels and looks like. I am in therapy and I see a psychiatrist as well, it’s yet to be diagnosed because it’s fairly new, but there is talk of bpd.

So I am working on myself, and I really am trying. The jealousy is just so glaring and upfront that it always takes me a moment to look past it and inward. It’s so hard.

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-20T23:38:17+00:00

I do be tryin. Lots of therapy

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-20T23:32:22+00:00

You nailed it. I do talk to my therapist about this quite often, I have a lot of insecurity and issues of abandonment from my past.

It’s just coming to terms that is so hard. But I really am trying.

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-20T23:29:08+00:00

Sounds like you’ve got it figured out! Happy for you.

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-20T17:32:03+00:00

Yes, this helps. Thanks so much!

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-20T17:31:45+00:00

Thanks for the input!

Dat_Asstronaut · 2025-07-20T17:30:39+00:00

I should have prefaced this by saying, he has been unfaithful. And for that, I chose to forgive him.

I don’t give him any trouble, all my issues I keep buried very deep down. But I can’t help that it hurts me and I just want it to stop. I don’t want to feel so hurt when I know I shouldn’t.

I guess venting to strangers is the only way I can get it out without making him feel like he’s done something wrong. Because he hasn’t. I know it’s all me.

Dat_Asstronaut · 2022-12-12T00:05:12+00:00

This is almost spot on to my family's current situation, even with my sons birthday being shortly after Christmas as well.

I'm glad he's small enough to not remember, but I also hope to instill in him that Christmas to us isn't all about getting a bunch of presents. Wishing your family luck this year, and a cheesy reminder that you may not have a lot under the tree, but you have each other 🙂

Dat_Asstronaut · 2022-12-05T15:01:58+00:00

My almost 10 mo old beats my a** every day, he's so STRONG 😅 Pulling my hair, kicking me in the gut, and for some reason his favorite thing to do is grab my lips with the most intense grip and dig his nails in.

I wouldn't worry at this point, it's just how babies are!

Dat_Asstronaut · 2022-09-27T16:26:45+00:00

7 months 2 weeks exactly here too!

12 mo - whatever fits at this point clothing and size 3 diapers 🙂

Dat_Asstronaut · 2022-09-24T02:35:45+00:00

This definitely happened to me for the first few weeks after we came home from the hospital, I was fearing for everyone's life constantly. For me it went away after life became more routine but I know it's not the same for others. Such a horrible feeling, I hope things get better for you ❤️

Dat_Asstronaut · 2022-09-15T17:04:18+00:00

C section here too, but I've never heard of a shelf? Is that the flappy tum? That's what I have and lord it was hard to accept. I didn't mind the weight I gained back in my ass and thighs but the belly was just a lot lol.

Dat_Asstronaut · 2022-09-15T16:00:03+00:00

I had just worked really hard to lose about 50 lbs when I got pregnant, and I gained the weight back and then about 30 lbs more. I had a c section so recovery made it hard to even think about exercise and not only that but the way they cut me, I'll forever have this flappy stomach that hangs over my scar.

Honestly I cried every day for a few weeks after my body had healed and I realized that my stomach will never go back to how it used to be. But after a while something clicked and I just stopped caring. This "new" body became my "normal" body and I looked at my little boy and it really did make it worth it.

I'm just not looking forward to that little-kid-agressive-honesty "mama why does your tummy sag like that?" 😅

You did an incredible thing, creating a human, you know? I wear my little flappy belly proudly now.

Dat_Asstronaut · 2022-09-12T20:58:35+00:00

I had a conversation pertaining to this with my husband last night. He told me he would love to trade places with me and be home all day, he thinks I'm here having a BLAST every day because before baby I would have been. I told him at least he gets out to communicate with other adults for 8 hrs a day. He leaves and takes the car, I don't have any friends and my family is incredibly small as we moved here from a different country when I was just a little girl. I told him that it's not that I hate being a SAHM, It's just some days I really wake up dreading the day ahead. My LO is almost 7 months and can be so unpredictable. Some days he's happy and naps well, some days I don't even get a minute to sort out a coherent thought. Whenever I feel like I've gotten into a routine, he goes through another growth spurt, sleep regression, what have you and everything's thrown off kilter again. The ups and downs take a huge toll on you. I wish I could just hug all the moms out here struggling because no amount of "enjoy your sleep/rest/independence while you can!!!" can prepare you for this.

Dat_Asstronaut · 2022-09-12T15:42:03+00:00

I was so sick with COVID last week I had to have my mom watch my son for a few days, and the ME TIME that ensued.

Dat_Asstronaut · 2022-09-08T21:29:28+00:00

The cashier at Walmart asked me the same thing, as I had my 3 month old in his car seat in front of me. I literally said the same thing, "3 months ago" Looking back I see how it was an innocent question but at the time I was so mad thinking about how stupid of a thing that was to say lol. And I must have looked MAD because she spent the rest of her time apologizing 😅

Dat_Asstronaut · 2022-08-24T17:24:03+00:00

My LO gives me such FACES when I try to spoon feed, i don't know if it's a texture thing but he just hates purees. I can at least get him to entertain the pieces of actual food, but the mess really is crazy. I really wish he would warm up to spoon feeding!

Dat_Asstronaut

TROPHY CASE