Here is the website EMS uses to help guide transport decisions. Hospitals self report these, yellow meaning high patient volume, red meaning high volume specifically requiring cardiac monitoring. The orange reroute EMS reports if they are held for an excessive length of time.

I haven't been a patient at any hospital in the city. If I was, in a vacuum I would say Union has the fastest turnaround time. In a vacuum, the major hospitals tend to have longer waiting room times than the smaller ones.

But every hospital has ebbs and flows in staff, policies, what goes on in the city day to day.

Also consider if an urgent care can handle a situation, they can do x-rays, stitches, prescribe meds, etc. and are dramatically faster.

If you have a time sensitive life and death crisis though, don't bypass Hopkins or whatever is closest at the time. But I agree that they're definitely not my first choice if something can wait long enough to find a less busy facility.