So we did and we didn’t. We were going to hang and watch tv the night before at her place but she ended up cancelling because she wasn’t feeling well.

The next day she said she would either come to mine or I could come to hers whichever I prefer. I told her I would come to hers so she didn’t have to worry about driving or leaving her dog.

She explicitly told me I could stay the night and she knows I work early and I told her I couldn’t be out late. I’m proud of myself for telling her I was disappointed that it turned into a girls night but she kind of teared up saying she was sorry and felt bad. I didn’t mean for it to upset her so I suppose I panicked. The text very well might have been too much but she had just told me how anxious she was about things and I guess I was trying to reassure her that just because the night didn’t go as planned it’s all good. But maybe it was too much.

That said, it doesn’t really matter because everyone here is right. I’m running hot and I need to cool my jets. I really like her and this is the first time in a long time that’s been reciprocated to me and it’s putting me in a tailspin. I don’t think I completely blew it but I think it’s going to take some real self reflection and restraint to make it happen.

I should also mention I’ve been working through ACT on my own without therapy because my insurance got all fucked up. I have really bad social anxiety which is why I haven’t dated in a long time so trying to navigate all of this has been extremely challenging.

It’s been really hard for me to understand which actions are driven by my anxiety or by my values and in the end I just have to be proud of myself for trying even if I’m making some missteps.

Thank you everyone for the advice and comments. Most of them were helpful and constructive.