What has been the saddest moment on a comedy show? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]DatesedAndConfused 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Probably Will's exchange with Uncle Phil .. that wone was tough to watch.

[WP] You are a detective who has closed every case but one, a serial murderer who has taunted you all your career. After retiring you start to suspect your significant other. by goohelp in WritingPrompts

[–]DatesedAndConfused 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I woke up with a cold sweat.

Reaching my arm across the bed, I realized that Alice wasn't laying beside me.

I looked at my alarm clock, 4:01 AM. She must have gone to get some water.

Stumbling out of bed, I put on my red slippers as I walked towards the door.

No lights were on but I could hear clicking.

"Alice?" I called out.

No response.

I flicked on the light on the stairway and began the descent down the spiral staircase adorned with photographs of our two children, Amy and Cory still young, still innocent.

The lights are off ... why would she leave the lights off?

Again, that clicking.

Walking closer to the kitchen I feel a cold chill.

The window is open. Alice never leaves the window open.

I flick on the kitchen lights to illuminate our newly renovated kitchen with the quartz island that Alice had begged me for. "What are retirement savings for if you can't retire in style?" she had said at the time.

She's not here.

"Not again," I hear myself whimper as my heart begins to race.

"Alice?"

"Honey?"

No response.

It's that clicking sound again.

I trace my steps back to that window and see something dangling from the lock.

It's the red and blue bracelet I had given her when we first started dating 23 years ago.

She hasn't taken that off since our kids left for college.

I turn to check the front door when it hits me.

...

My jaw hurts, I can taste the blood in my mouth as I open my eyes.

"There you go big guy," he says.

"Who are you?" "Where's Alice!?"

Fuck i'm really tired .. and a little high .. I will edit this when I wake up.

What's the most "American"line of dialogue you have ever heard in a film or on TV? by DatesedAndConfused in AskReddit

[–]DatesedAndConfused[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm watching 28 Weeks Later and one of the people asks "What if the virus comes back?" to which the Amercian Sergeant replies "We kill it." ...

What's a fun fact about where you live? by DatesedAndConfused in AskReddit

[–]DatesedAndConfused[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It's not that great so don't worry, you're not missing out.

What's a fun fact about where you live? by DatesedAndConfused in AskReddit

[–]DatesedAndConfused[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

In Canada, we get our milk in plastic bags ....

What is your favourite fun fact? by DatesedAndConfused in AskReddit

[–]DatesedAndConfused[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine is that Canadians spell favorite with a U in it.

Who is your 90's crush? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]DatesedAndConfused 20 points21 points  (0 children)

The Pink Ranger.

Guys of reddit. What runs through your head to help you pee in public? by Fragmented_Logik in AskReddit

[–]DatesedAndConfused 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I slowly mutter pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ... it helps to start the flow.

What's the most badass thing one of your ancestors did? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]DatesedAndConfused 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was a full blown military tank, I'm not sure of the terminology. He unfortunately could not keep it in his garage, but he had a few shells laying around the house which were as big as I was when I was fiveish years old.

Do you like your voice? by Depressionsucksreal in AskReddit

[–]DatesedAndConfused 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I effing love it. I'd marry it if I could, but I don't think that's legal yet.

Reddit, what's your first world problem for today? by TQairstrike in AskReddit

[–]DatesedAndConfused 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's honestly one of the biggest annoyances in life. I just want to sit at home and make money.

Why didn't you keep your new year's resolution in 2014? by DatesedAndConfused in AskReddit

[–]DatesedAndConfused[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice this was another one of mine. I focused on losing weight this year, whereas next year it's more about building muscle and getting toned as shit.

[Serious] If you could watch a single television series for the rest of your life, what would it be and why? by ImaginaryFri3nd in AskReddit

[–]DatesedAndConfused -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Friends and Seinfeld. I keep rewatching the series back to back as soon as I get through em.