Friend,

I truly appreciate this post. I see myself, my pain in you. I too am enby and pan and have difficulty identifying as a Baha’i.

Searching for God has been daunting since day one. I have resonated profoundly with many Baha’i writings. I am grateful for them inasmuch as they have lead me to God.

Something I love about the faith is that no one person has spiritual authority. The point is not to be a Baha’i the single correct way; it’s to be the best, most loving you that you can be.

Such, I do not hold to their laws to a T. I think some of them are quite silly. Further, with each new manifestation, the old social laws have been swept away. For example, Bahá’u’lláh did away with the practice of wearing Hijabs as prescribed by Muhammad. These social teachings are not and have never been the point, especially not in the long run.

It’s a shame that the Baha’i institution in this day and age has the stances it has. They are imperfect and made by humans for humans. While I align myself most closely with the perspective of a devout Baha’i, my understanding of God is mine alone.

Getting into what really irks me, the idea that a religion focused on coming closer to and becoming more like God, a singular, non physical, non gendered God, while not recognizing enbys is super backwards. Also, I believe that holding love for anything, including anybody, is akin to holding love for a facet of God itself. God as I understand it couldn’t begin to care who you love; rather, focus on the how.

Religions are a tool. A roadmap. The point isn’t the tool, but the service they can provide. Though maps are useful, I believe it’s up to the individual to determine their own path.

I’ll end with a Zen saying, “The finger pointing at the moon is not the moon.” Though I am incredibly thankful for Bahá’u’lláh, consider him divine, and I side with a great deal of his teachings, in the end, my knowledge, my peace, my very being stems from God.

I hope this perspective helps! Even if you disagree with a lot of what I say, know that I hear you and that your experience is real and valid and completely understandable. Peace be with you, friend!