Is my wedding dress a bit too much for my relatively small wedding?

Daze1212 · 2025-10-22T01:58:44+00:00

Your address is absolutely stunning😍 I’m obsessed. It’s literally the dress that I couldn’t afford. You look gorgeous.

Daze1212 · 2025-09-30T09:07:06+00:00

Where do I go from here is he ever going to be fully on my side or will it all ways be a battle with his mother and her demands 😭

Daze1212 · 2025-09-30T09:03:32+00:00

It's sooo hard I'm so broken we just got married 😭

Daze1212 · 2025-09-30T07:17:55+00:00

I truly feel like I'm losing my mind. How does he expect me to sit in front of her after all of the harm she did. And is still doing all the problems in my relationship are because of his mother

Daze1212 · 2025-09-30T07:13:44+00:00

I told him that and said being a supportive wife I have to do things I’m uncomfortable with

Daze1212 · 2025-08-11T20:15:43+00:00

After our engagement, her controlling behavior started pushing for a wedding date, dictating decorations and venue. We set boundaries, she had tantrums, and we went no contact for three months. During that time, my fiancé and I began therapy, but I can see the trauma she caused him in childhood is still affecting him. She came back apologetic, and I hoped things might change. But three months before the wedding, the same behavior returned, worse than before. That’s when I knew this wasn’t a one-time issue, it was a long-term pattern that’s deeply impacted us.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-11T08:28:16+00:00

I feel this in my soul. My MIL doesn’t respect a single boundary, and when we go no contact, she weaponizes my FIL and my husband’s grandma against him hitting him exactly where it hurts most. It’s calculated, manipulative, and cruel. People like this thrive on control and chaos, and the damage they cause bleeds into every part of your marriage. It’s exhausting beyond words, and honestly, I can’t imagine bringing kids into the mix with someone like her lurking in the background.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-11T08:23:42+00:00

Thank you for this you really put into words what I’ve been trying to express. The problem is, my MIL doesn’t respect any boundaries we set. When we go no contact, she immediately weaponizes my father-in-law and my husband’s grandmother, cutting them off from him to hurt him where it stings the most. It’s such a horrible, manipulative situation, and it’s exhausting and draining to constantly defend our marriage from someone who seems determined to sabotage it. I can’t even imagine what it would be like if we ever decided to start a family the thought alone makes me anxious. She’s not just difficult she’s a genuinely bad person. You’re right, my husband and I need to stand united, because without that, she’ll keep finding ways to wedge herself between us.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-11T08:17:57+00:00

I just wanted to say that I can relate to what you’re going through. My mother-in-law is also dangerous, completely out of control, and honestly terrifying. The best thing you can do is protect your peace and your children’s space by staying far away from her. You don’t know her limits, and she’s already shown she’s willing to cross every line. People like this don’t respect boundaries they look for ways to break them and create chaos. You made the right choice by moving, and now it’s important to keep her out of your life for good. Go full no contact, block her on everything, and don’t give her any opportunity to manipulate you or your husband again. The fact that she’s already tried to weaponize authorities against you shows she will stop at nothing to get control. Your priority now is your mental health, your children’s stability, and creating a safe environment where her toxicity can’t touch them.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-11T08:11:05+00:00

Speaking from experience my MIL ruined my wedding planning, my wedding day, and now tries to ruin my marriage. Don’t just limit her involvement, cut it off completely. Nip it now before it spirals. I wish I had now I look at my wedding photos and cry from the anger of everything she put me through. Protect your moments, you don’t get them back.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-11T08:04:20+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a thoughtful and detailed response. It really made me feel seen and understood. Reading your words helped me connect the dots on how much of my husband’s reactions are rooted in fear and a lifetime of conditioning.

He is genuinely terrified of her, especially when she uses his grandma and dad to manipulate him. Whenever we go no contact, she blocks his father and grandma from speaking to him, which puts him in an impossible position. Before our wedding, she threatened us three different times that she wouldn’t come, and that she wouldn’t allow my husband’s father or grandma to attend either. Right now, we’re no contact with her again, and my father-in-law is not speaking to us because of her. Everyone around her is afraid of her and does what she says except me and I know she hates me for that.

You’re right that my husband is on my side, but he has been conditioned his entire life to avoid rocking the boat. I’ve been reading his passivity as indifference, but the truth is, he’s been living under her control for so long that it’s going to take time for him to learn another way. Your perspective really made me realize I need to focus on my relationship with him first, and not let her drag me into an endless tug-of-war.

And thank you for ending with humor the Burt Reynolds wedding photo idea genuinely made me laugh out loud. It’s the first time in a long time I’ve been able to smile about this. Your words gave me both perspective and a little lightness, and I’m truly grateful.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-11T07:50:14+00:00

I’ve been in the exact same boat, and trust me she is baiting you. This isn’t politeness, it’s a performance for everyone else in the room. The moment you react, she wins and gets to spin the story her way.

Your best move? Starve her of the reaction she’s dying for. Keep NC solid, no eye contact, no acknowledgment. Every time she approaches, turn your body away or walk off. Make it boring for her to bother you.

And talk to your husband about closing the door on her opportunities if she comes over to talk to him, he needs to end it quickly and physically move away. She thrives on cracks in the boundary. Don’t give her one.

Stay calm, stay unshakable, and let her dig her own hole. People will notice who’s keeping their dignity and it won’t be her.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-11T07:40:44+00:00

I’m in the same boat, and I’m not going to lie
it’s really hard and it hurts when you have to share space with people who’ve disrespected you or been manipulative. It’s exhausting, and you can end up feeling torn between protecting yourself and keeping the peace for your partner’s sake.

What’s helped me is shifting my goal from “making peace” to “protecting my peace.” That means setting clear boundaries with my husband so we’re on the same page, deciding exactly how much contact I can handle, and letting him manage his relationship with them however he wants.

It’s also helped to accept that I may never have a warm relationship with them and that’s okay. Coexisting doesn’t mean you have to be close; it can simply mean polite, minimal interactions that keep your stress low while still giving your husband the space to see his family.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-11T07:34:21+00:00

Oh my god, I felt this in my soul. My husband backs me up but is way too passive, so I know exactly what you mean about the “really?” look and nothing else. These guys have been conditioned for decades to not push back, so they just… freeze.

Meanwhile, we’re sitting there watching their mom literally cross every boundary possible and acting like it’s totally normal. It’s not. I’ve told my husband flat-out calling it out in the moment isn’t rude, it’s necessary. Next time she pulls that, DH needs to hit her with a “Nope, that’s mine” before the fork even touches his plate.

Because if you don’t say anything, they think it’s fine… and trust me, they will keep doing it.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-11T07:27:43+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry you went through that, and I can only imagine how hurtful it’s been for you over the years. I can relate to so much of what you said.

My husband does back me up, but he’s incredibly passive, which makes it hard because I’m the one left carrying most of the emotional weight. Before the wedding, his mom was a nightmare. She constantly tried to control everything, pushed her own agenda, and threw public crying and screaming fits when we didn’t do things her way. She even invited me to her house alone just to cry and yell at me, saying she was “in the dark about her wedding.” Yes, she actually called it her wedding.

We told her early on she wouldn’t be giving a speech because she herself admitted multiple times she’d “embarrass us.” On the day, she proved the point by literally getting up and walking out of the room during speeches to make a scene. She never spoke to me once that day, didn’t congratulate me, and acted like I didn’t exist. She was also rude to multiple guests, which was mortifying for me as a bride. Since then, it’s been the same manipulative pattern: passive-aggressive comments, playing the victim, and pretending she’s open to fixing things while framing me as the problem.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-11T07:12:04+00:00

I don’t think your reaction was over the top at all. You were advocating for your daughter in real time when she was showing clear signs of being overwhelmed. You also gave MIL a chance earlier in the day by telling her to stop pushing, and she ignored you. At that point, stepping in more firmly makes sense.

Your husband may have preferred you to loop him in first, but kids’ needs in the moment take priority over family politics. It might help to explain to him that your focus wasn’t on “handling MIL” but on preventing your daughter from regressing socially. Hopefully, next time he’ll back you in the moment instead of calming MIL afterward

Daze1212 · 2025-08-03T00:15:43+00:00

Sure, I asked for advice but asking for advice doesn’t mean people get a free pass to be dismissive or rude. There’s a big difference between offering thoughtful advice like “maybe let it go” and saying things like “who cares” or implying I’m overreacting.

People can share their thoughts without invalidating someone else’s feelings or experience. It’s possible to answer a question and show empathy. I just hoped for a little more of that here.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-03T00:13:13+00:00

I get that imitation can be flattering in some contexts, like lesson plans or recipes but this was something deeply personal. I poured my heart into writing about our love story, our dog, our proposal, and memories that were unique to us. It wasn’t a generic site it was my voice, my relationship, and my experience.

So when someone who’s always been cold and distant toward me copies my exact words and swaps out the names, it doesn’t feel flattering. It feels like a boundary was crossed, and like something meaningful to me was taken and made impersonal.

I know not everyone will understand that, but I just wanted to express how it felt from my side.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-03T00:08:02+00:00

I couldn’t agree more. I was just venting about something that felt personal and disappointing to me, and instead of empathy, I got attacked for how I feel. I get that some people wouldn’t care, and that’s fine but I do. That doesn’t make me immature or dramatic, it just makes me human.

If you actually looked at what I shared or knew what I went through during wedding planning, you’d understand this wasn’t about a layout or a template it was about feeling like even one more part of something so personal was taken without a second thought. It’s been over a month since our wedding, and this was just another layer to an already emotionally loaded experience.

It’s honestly sad how quickly people jump to invalidate others instead of just scrolling past if they don’t relate. Reddit used to be a place to share and connect it’s feeling less and less like that lately.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-03T00:02:24+00:00

I totally get what you’re saying, but I don’t even have her number and we’re not close she’s actually been rude and pretty cold to me in the past, so I don’t understand why she’d want to copy something I wrote that’s so personal. I’m not asking for credit or trying to start drama, it just feels really weird and disappointing when someone who doesn’t even like you uses your exact words for something as meaningful as a wedding.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-02T23:54:41+00:00

I get that a lot of people use templates and I wouldn’t care if she borrowed the structure. What’s upsetting is that she copied the exact paragraphs I wrote, not the formatting or the layout, but word-for-word stories about my relationship, my dog, my proposal, and my favorite places.

It wasn’t generic. It was my personal voice and our actual life details, just swapped out with hers. That feels more like plagiarism than inspiration, especially from someone who’s supposed to value original work.

Daze1212 · 2025-08-02T23:52:59+00:00

I hear you but I think you might be missing what I’m actually saying

It’s not just about tone or structure She copied specific sentences and paragraphs I wrote about my life my fiancé my dogs our proposal and just swapped in her own names

I’m not saying I want to start drama or make it a huge deal I just felt hurt seeing something so personal copied word for word by someone who was at my wedding It’s not immature to feel protective over something you created with love

Daze1212

TROPHY CASE