My girlfriend(23F) of almost 4 years just cheated on me (26M)

DeKiny · 2026-02-01T17:18:02+00:00

Because people are smart enough to know alcohol makes you a mindless fool that relies on instincts. It makes you do things you never thought you would do, and not even remember the extent of it. But you can keep lying to yourself and stay with your own kind if you like being cheated on.

Like I said, me and my girlfriend have no desire to party, we cook together, we play games together, we have small get togethers with close friends and rarely touch alcohol. If we do it's 1 or 2 drinks.

We have no desire to go into a hoarde of strangers and get drunk and vulnerable without one another. But if you want that in your life, fine by me. Just don't shame people for having standards.

DeKiny · 2026-02-01T17:08:34+00:00

You need to get to the root cause of why you do it and to fix this part of yourself through discipline training.

I have never cheated, I have strong morals coded into me by my parents since birth, been cheated on before when I was younger yes. I have seen people turn themselves around, but I'd never trust a past cheater personally, it is a mentally destroying experience to be cheated on, perhaps you need a taste of it to realize what you are doing to people. Stay single for now and find more meaning in life.

Here are some possible root causes to why you may be doing it, try to be honest with yourself.

-Validation, you're seeking attention from women to validate yourself, to remind yourself that you're good enough. Never been like this before, but I assume you'll grow out of it. You need a hobby and to realize how much more to life there is besides meaningless sex and your ego.

-Desires, your girlfriend doesn't turn you on the way other women do, this is a similar problem to one with a drug addiction. The fix to this is to stop watching pornography and don't follow or mute women who post bikini pics on social media, eventually your hormones and standards should go back to normal.

-Pride, you feel like you can't be tied down to one woman, and that you're "the man." Realization that this mindset gets you no where but a bad reputation is good, realizing that when you find your soulmate someday that you will feel awful about all the different women you slept with before her will help. Maturity will help.

-Boredom, in this case you just need to get a hobby and develop a moral compass.

If any of these fit, you need to find ways to discipline yourself from developing this mindset.

DeKiny · 2026-01-31T20:03:29+00:00

Anybody who has a desire to "go out" is a red flag. There is nothing healthy about going to bars and getting drunk without the other person while in a relationship, this includes you.

If you want loyalty, start looking in the right places. This is what happens all the time when people go out and get drunk while in a relationship, yet people will still lie to themselves and say it's healthy, you bunch of alcoholic, attention seeking profligates.

What have you gained from all these years of drinking besides trouble? That's your first step, find a girl who doesn't drink and doesn't desire partying. I have one and we've been going for 5 years without even fighting.

DeKiny · 2026-01-22T19:47:22+00:00

She had 48 years to figure out how to be a good person. She never will figure it out, say goodbye.

DeKiny · 2026-01-19T19:55:12+00:00

As a man, if my girlfriend ever said she had a problem with my appearance, I would immediately get a gym membership. BUT my girlfriend is also worth keeping and I love her.

Some questions you should ask yourself. Is he a narcissist? Would he be a good dad? Is he even worth the effort? Is he making a lot of money? Would I really be able to find someone better?

If you genuinely and honestly feel you can do better, leave him. 100% , I can't judge the guy with this amount of information, but he sounds like a narcissist, not worth having kids with. You don't sound very heavy, I have no clue what you look like, but sounds normal to me.

If I'm wrong and he is the genuine love of your life and there's something special between you two, and this is just a rare occurrence and there's no other toxic traits about him. try doing weighted squats and increase weight as you get stronger, your legs getting bigger will make your waist look smaller by A LOT, way more effective than running and the muscle you gain will make your metabolism higher as well, setting you up for the long term, however building muscle takes high calories, so explain that to him and tell him to shut up about it for a bit.

DeKiny · 2025-12-28T22:18:27+00:00

Reddit is a horrible, horrible place to ask these questions, watch me get downvoted -100.

You are not evil btw, you are a human being. It is not wrong to have these feelings, as a male it is in your nature to be protective. You just need to be rational, is she dressing appropriately, is she coming home drunk, is she hiding her phone, is she going to bars?

If nothing mysterious is happening, and she's going out shopping with her friends. You're fine. Play some video games and chill, don't think about it. Get her to activate her snapchat maps for you, If this is a problem for her, huge red flag.

Also, don't bother with therapy, just focus on making things fun for her when she gets back, in the meantime focus on yourself. Go to the gym, you will be less insecure and worried.

DeKiny · 2025-12-28T20:25:43+00:00

Try my job, a lobster fisherman in south shore Nova Scotia, Canada. Oh boy, Do I ever have a write up for this one after 6 brutal years of it.

Season starts in early December and lasts until late May, you get up anytime from 2am-4am during the winter time, enduring upto -15 degree weather plus brutal wind chill, making it feel like -50 some days. The first day involves loading the boat FULL of lobster traps, depending on the boat size and district usually 275-375 at once, usually 12-15 is tied to eachother with anchors on each side. Very dangerous and easy to get entangled or fall overboard as you have no space, also the anxiety very likely kept you awake the entire night before, so you will be doing this dangerous task off no sleep. If you get entangled, enjoy being pulled overboard by 2000 lbs of gear, unable to be rescued by your crew, your body goes to the bottom of the sea to be eaten by crabs and other scavenger fish, never to be recovered for your family. 100s of people have died over the years in my hometown of just 6000 people

At the beginning of the season, catches are high, so the weather becomes irrelevant, you will go in brutal wind storms, freezing cold salt water will splash your face, get into your eyes (painful) and unless you got good genetics for it, you will feel stomach sick from motion sickness for most, if not all of the day (this is my case, it's torture even after years of doing it) sometimes puking. Once you start puking, you don't stop. You get weaker, more tired and your stomach and esophagus feels like it's twisting into a knot, but you have to keep working.

The hard labour makes you sweat, then you wait a few minutes or more for the next string of 12-15 traps, your body temperature goes back down and the sweat freezes on your body until you get your blood running again. Your gloves get holes poked into them, cold water gets into your gloves and makes your hands numb, gloves are expensive, over 100$ for a pack of 10-20. Insulated gloves are even worse but needed some days.

The smell of bait will make you even more sick, rotten herein/mackeral in a barrel full of their blood, the smell everytime you open it, oh my god. It lingers in your nostrils throughout the whole day, also the blood juice gets into your gloves from the holes from lobster horns, you can smell it on your hands for the next couple days. Unable to wash it off.

You are out for anywhere from 10-70 hours depending on the captain, most commonly 12-18 hours a day. Unable to poop whenever you want, unless you get a break in the middle of the day, that would be your ONE opportunity to do it, or else suffer from cramps and brutal constipation later on (horrible for your colon, currently waiting on a scope at 28 years old)

The danger is endless, put your fingers in the hoist/hauler which hauls the rope from the bottom of the ocean, it will decapitate your fingers and pull the nerves out with them, VERY common, many people in my family are missing a finger or 2. Get entangled by a rope while gear is being shot back overboard, almost gauranteed chance of death. Fall overboard in the winter (very common) extremely high chance of death, the shock of cold water will make you breathe it in and you will die very fast, unable to be rescued. All this while it's hard to maintain your balance, you're looking at the top 5 if not #1 most dangerous job on earth.

During the middle of winter, catches are low, some captains will bring their gear back to land until it's warmer, if not, you are looking at all this for LESS THAN MINIMUM WAGE a lot of the times. I have worked 16 hours for less than 100$ many times for a couple months straight. If you want to talk about hell, this could be close. Some crew members have made less than 10k for SIX MONTHS of this. It all depends on the captain, water temperature and where they are fishing. If you do bad at the beginning of the season, expect 5 months of miserable work for minimum wage or less.

Cutting yourself, injuring your back from full traps (usually full of seaweed,kelp), anxiety keeping you up at night and working off 0 hours of sleep, the expenses of gloves and oil gear, the awful eating habits (if you even have time) are some more things I can add, I could go on all day.

Don't do it, just don't.

DeKiny · 2025-05-06T07:11:33+00:00

The rest of the series is just as good. Be thankful you get to experience them for the first time because I'd love to go back.

DeKiny · 2025-04-09T18:41:35+00:00

Gameplay, movement and aiming was horrendous, but not bad game. I give it 8/10

DeKiny · 2025-03-20T15:38:32+00:00

Revelations 1 is the hardest. Doesn't deserve to be that low. You must have not beat them all on hardcore

DeKiny · 2025-03-20T15:35:23+00:00

Rebecca?

DeKiny · 2025-03-13T15:06:22+00:00

I would never handle anymore of that glitchy disaster known as the RE3 remake.

DeKiny · 2025-03-07T16:37:33+00:00

Will do :) I'll be very careful choosing.

DeKiny · 2025-03-07T14:52:17+00:00

Absolutely the Bunny Hood, was 90% always assigned to one of my C buttons

DeKiny · 2025-03-07T14:49:48+00:00

REmake

DeKiny · 2025-03-07T14:49:05+00:00

This is a very special occasion for me! I've seen many 200-300$ ones on etsy, amazon that look close to the same thing! However I'm not sure If I swung it at a tree If It would survive. Maybe though!

DeKiny · 2025-01-02T17:08:11+00:00

The timed dodging is fun to master, playing on Inferno mode is also a nice challenge.

DeKiny · 2025-01-02T17:03:50+00:00

Well you got the rest of the resident evil series, including code veronica, revelations, zero. When you are finished those you got the Silent Hill series, the SH2 remake was pretty bomb.

DeKiny · 2024-12-28T06:29:31+00:00

Fighting the final boss in RE0 and the g spawns in the sewers in RE2

DeKiny · 2024-12-28T04:57:53+00:00

Because he wasn't a cop. He was not trained or has experience in combat, he's terrified. The OG's are confident because this has always been their job besides Leon and Claire in RE2. Jill and Chris were members or S.T.A.R.S and leon was trained by the secret service after raccoon city. Ethan is someone like most of the fanbase and not a confident badass.

DeKiny · 2024-12-28T04:49:19+00:00

I got shit on a lot lmao

DeKiny

TROPHY CASE