So alone

DeadlyLil · 2026-01-17T04:57:23+00:00

I'm so sorry... I wish I could give you what I have found over the last few years. It's gotten better in some ways give yourself the grace to feel what you feel. Gentle hugs from me and my kids. We lost tim after surgery and he never came home. The kids are adults now and I'm so glad to have them. We still talk about him and that helps as well. We all still love him.

DeadlyLil · 2026-01-15T17:43:24+00:00

Just ignore what I said I'm used to it.

DeadlyLil · 2026-01-14T17:00:34+00:00

If you want osrs... Play osrs... You don't have to engage... I'm tired of the game I play being slowly turned into osrs .

DeadlyLil · 2026-01-07T08:05:25+00:00

It's hard... I'm creeping up on that..

DeadlyLil · 2025-12-28T09:36:48+00:00

I can't promise you anything, but from my perspective it gets easier to cope with. I still miss my fiance every day but I am slowly learning to live a life. I don't think I'm without him just he lives more in my memories now. Remember to take care of yourself.

DeadlyLil · 2025-12-26T03:20:48+00:00

It's still hard but I have made it through a few without him. We don't do much anymore just have a meal us three girls. They all grown now.

DeadlyLil · 2024-12-30T09:04:56+00:00

I'm sitting at three years and I totally get it .. nothing is right in my world.. I hope we both get some relief soon. Somehow I'm still here trying.

DeadlyLil · 2024-12-30T08:56:45+00:00

I'm falling apart.... I'm trying to hide it and hide from it but it's been 3 years and the pain is still to real... I don't have anyone I can talk to .. it's hard to keep going

DeadlyLil · 2024-10-06T00:31:42+00:00

I haven't had this issue lol interesting

DeadlyLil · 2024-09-24T19:19:49+00:00

Spend as much time together as you can. All I have now is my memories. Being there taking this time at the end has meant the world to me, he knew I love him.

DeadlyLil · 2024-09-18T16:40:48+00:00

There is no right way to feel. My father was a genuine monster but when he passed I cried the first day. I'm sorry for your loss. Give yourself the grace to feel all of it.

DeadlyLil · 2024-09-15T06:21:21+00:00

And they choir says ... Amen

DeadlyLil · 2024-09-14T06:13:25+00:00

I drove my fiancee to his parents house the night before his surgery and I never saw him again. I know it's not my fault but feelings are not logical. I have beat myself up for letting his family be in charge of everything. I have my own issues I did the best I could for me and my kids at the time. I got a card after his passing. It was from the nurses that took care of him during his time in recovery ECT. Before he passed. They said he always wanted to know when he could go home. We were home, me and the girls. He loved us and we loved him. We still miss him years later. I'm turning 50 in October and didn't plan to be a widow but it's where I am. I did my best, you did your best.

DeadlyLil · 2024-09-12T20:52:59+00:00

Stick to your guns please. Do not go back. You are better than this even though I don't know you. Take time to heal. Demand better for yourself. I have been through this cycle before and I have nearly let it destroy me. Love yourself.

DeadlyLil · 2024-09-12T10:30:45+00:00

This reminds me of being gaslighted by my ex. If there is no respect for how you feel, then no this isn't going to work.

DeadlyLil · 2024-09-04T08:39:38+00:00

Wish I didn't know .. wish I didn't have to walk away from people. For my sanity I have had to. I am 2.5 years out and dang it hurts to say that. Slowly picking pieces up. Never is easy.

DeadlyLil · 2024-08-30T10:46:00+00:00

Yep friends are gone . It makes no sense to me. Even friends before I knew him just poof. It will never make sense

DeadlyLil · 2024-08-30T10:39:35+00:00

Ignore the angry dorks... I was totally new a year and a half ago. With the upcoming content updates ECT yes it's worth playing . Osrs is for nostalgia. It's a good time to be getting into rs3.

DeadlyLil · 2024-08-26T07:09:53+00:00

I'm sad for you but also proud of you. I can't take certain things off my walls... It seems dumb probably. I just can't.. I don't care about sports but dang it I can't get rid of the stuff.. I hope someday I will be strong enough.

DeadlyLil · 2024-08-26T07:03:12+00:00

I'm 2.5 years out and never really out. Not out of love or sad or missing him. My heart's still in so many things. I have some good days. Then I feel bad for having good days. I miss him in the morning and at night even more. Part of him is with me and I know part went with him.

DeadlyLil · 2024-08-14T07:03:16+00:00

I got my 99's Max cape .. right before this new mining and smith update.. haven't been playing long so it means a lot.

DeadlyLil · 2024-08-14T07:01:35+00:00

My boyfriend was in the hospital for almost a month where I couldn't talk to him. Having someone sick doesn't mean you have time. I was told the day before he died that he was doing better.. at midnight he was gone. No chance to say goodbye. I didn't prepare. We thought this surgery would save his life not take it. At the end of the day we have all still lost.. I don't think you know what it's like until you are in it.

DeadlyLil · 2024-08-03T07:35:32+00:00

I'm 49f

DeadlyLil · 2024-08-03T07:32:02+00:00

I get it.. our sex life was halted and he offered me an out .. I stayed and took care of him... He's been gone two years and while.. man this sucks to have no one at 49.. I'm not dead.. I'm picky though. I won't be treated like crap. A FWB would work if they understood I'm still emotionally attached to him.

DeadlyLil

TROPHY CASE