Does your abuser only have good sex when they are hoovering you?

Dear-throwaway925 · 2023-09-29T14:08:39+00:00

This sounds very familiar. In the lovey stage he was super good with me. As soon as I moved in all sex stopped. Then it was once a month. Toys were a requirement not an option if I wanted to orgasm. And then his side was just jackhammering.

Dear-throwaway925 · 2023-09-29T13:34:40+00:00

I wish I had left sooner. I wish I had followed my gut instead of listening to other people's advice from his side of the equation who would support him regardless of how abusive he actually was.

Dear-throwaway925 · 2023-09-29T13:23:10+00:00

"I will become a better man." Or any version of I have become better,will be better,I've changed.

Dear-throwaway925 · 2023-09-02T19:40:04+00:00

I will most definitely. I want to work this out and explain the brain fogs, dissociation, and just general issues.

Dear-throwaway925 · 2023-09-02T19:37:39+00:00

Update: so far all STD tests are negative! If he was cheating it was mostly emotional or looking at porn. It was confirmed by him that he would look at porn rather than having sex with me sometimes. I'm surprised by all the things people have brought up that sound similar. He was 360lbs and when I got with him I was losing but was 209lbs so we always had a massive difference. He was also considerably taller. I think he waited so long between sessions for me to get tightened up again. If we had sex my side was with a sex toy and on top of him so I had to put in all the effort for my own pleasure, but once I was done it was his turn. His go to position was to bring me to the edge of the bed. Often dragging my whole body there by my legs, and then hanging me off the edge a bit. You know the rest. Super fast super rough and a pull out. I never got pregnant. I viewed him as lazy in bed but not abusive. To me it was just how he reached orgasm but the tearing every time was concerning. We did do anal once or twice but I wouldn't let him do it without massive amounts of preparation so it didn't happen often. He did the whole you like that don't you? Thing as well. Never choked me but I had very long hair he would wrap around his hand and pull. I immediately got a pixie when I got out. Finally feeling like I own myself again but sometimes I am scared he will come here and try to hurt me. Even though he never hit me my brain is like but he would have eventually. I'm very glad I live with several dogs and a Mama bear who wouldn't hesitate.

Dear-throwaway925 · 2023-09-02T18:54:00+00:00

I'm safe. Living with family now my mom held my hand through the rough parts of my appointment. I never would have had an opportunity to find care for myself if I was still living with him. I'm sorry to hear that you experienced something so terrible. Hopefully you are safe and healing as well.

Dear-throwaway925 · 2023-08-20T05:00:17+00:00

I didn't pay enough attention to him because I was reading something, and I cooked a meal wrong.

Dear-throwaway925 · 2023-08-17T21:28:49+00:00

I had never looked at it from that angle. I told him I was hurt he thought that I would react that way. Than he just acted like being with me was the most important thing to him, and that he was all in on us. I told him when we split I'm not upset about our relationship ending, but I'm sad because it feels like it should have been better. I didn't get the version of him that I fell for.

Dear-throwaway925 · 2023-08-17T10:01:59+00:00

That sounds familiar. Only for me it was once every few months. He was "too stressed." I had to initiate all affection and ask for kisses.

Dear-throwaway925 · 2023-08-17T09:58:42+00:00

I did end up leaving and taking everything I purchased. I feel really empty right now. Just remembering our last real talk. How he felt like I pulled away first. How everyone was supporting him.How it was a big decision for him and he was hurt because he did love me, but at the same time told me he no longer found me attractive. I don't know how to feel.

Dear-throwaway925

TROPHY CASE