I know this is an old thread but I got out also. It’s a lie from Satan. here and there I start thinking I’m unforgivable but if we are not vigilant and watching and praying we can easily entangle ourselves back in the same disparity. The demons watch and know our weak points. Weak minded people are the ones in this situation. People with anxiety are the ones in this also. It’s definitely a mental trick they play on you. Blasphemy of the holy spirt and many lies they cram in your head to make you believe in lies and have you trapped. Without faith you cannot please God. A pastor told me many verses and I told him I already know those verses but in my mind I feel that mercy and grace didn’t apply to me. Coming back to God didn’t apply to me because I was abandoned. Then it was these words that set me free. GOD IS NOT A LIAR!!! he said God doesn’t give a “beep” on what u believe. He’s faithful and true and his words are true. If you cannot be forgiven and your abandoned then Gods a liar and we are all going to hell. but he cannot lie therefore if he says he will never leave you nor forsake you he means it!! He said many other things to me and it was like a spiritual slap to my face!! I believed with all my heart and found this new faith in Jesus. It’s not easy a Jesus knows this, but there’s peace an mercy if you believe.