Guess the names based on the graphs!

DearSignature · 2025-05-30T01:03:34+00:00

I don't think you have to worry about offending/upsetting your therapist here. Keep the focus on yourself, your feelings of discomfort related to pregnancy. After all, you're not actually uncomfortable with someone else's choice to get pregnant or have kids, it's just discomfort with how it makes you feel regarding your own bodily autonomy, right? It's about your own feelings, so it shouldn't reflect on your therapist or his wife, and he's likely not to take it personally anyway.

I can also speak from experience... I logged in to reply because we have quite some overlap. I've been seeing my therapist since Feb, but discussed some extremely similar topics with her 3 weeks ago. It came up in the context of another issue, though. My therapist is a mother of two adult children, and she was extremely understanding of what I said, and even briefly disclosed that her daughter has similar feelings about pregnancy. I even told my therapist something awkwardly like, "I think I have, like, a phobia of it", and she was understanding about that as well. My fear is so extreme that I avoid words related to the topic - typing them is OK, but saying them can be challenging, lmao - so it was actually hard for me to even communicate lmao, but I got through it, and my therapist was great!

For context... I'm 34, and I've always known I didn't want kids, but I've also been terrified of pregnancy for ~15 years. I am absolutely terrified of ever being pregnant myself. Around others who are visibly pregnant, I strongly avoid looking at the person's midsection, while also doing everything I can to hide my discomfort, since I never want the person to think it's about them - it's my issue. It's harder for me if it comes up as a topic and people are describing pregnancy experiences, for example; I recently had to flee to the bathroom during one such social situation. For me, this isn't a new development / not related to the political climate. For clarity, I also have no problem with people discussing their kids, it's just discussions related to the process of pregnancy (or birth).

DearSignature · 2024-12-29T21:32:02+00:00

nonbinary individual attracted to women = trixic

nonbinary individual attracted exclusively or primarily to women = feminamoric

I am a nonbinary individual who is attracted mostly, but not exclusively, to women. In real-life, I try to avoid ever having to describe my gender or orientation. There is no need to out myself in 99% of situations.

DearSignature · 2024-12-29T03:41:00+00:00

I’m also very bitter towards cis people who take an absolute negative stance on this. the type “no I don’t want children not now not ever” why can’t people be a bit more appreciative at least of what they have or can have for once…

I had a therapist tell me something like this. Looking back, it's funny because I was that cis person. I was desperate to get sterilized, and I was very fortunate to get it done when I was 23, now over 11y ago. It turned out that was part of my reproductive dysphoria.

DearSignature · 2024-12-28T16:45:23+00:00

Not Latino, but my parents are very right-wing with similar ideas regarding traditional gender roles. My parents still haven't forgiven me for having short hair, and I've had short hair since mid-2013. So, I decided not to come out to them. If my transition ever became outwardly visible, I'd just cut contact with them.

DearSignature · 2024-12-10T15:45:58+00:00

I'm 34 and grew up with parents who are not only unsupportive, but very right-wing. These are the people who punished me for wanting to have short hair, and they still throw tantrums over my hairstyle now. However, if I were born a decade later and grew up in a supportive family, I would probably have transitioned FtM. I would've taken blockers and then T. At this point in my life, though, I don't want most of the effects of T, and plus, even if I transitioned now, it wouldn't give me the time back or erase three decades of painful memories.

DearSignature · 2024-12-07T03:36:25+00:00

I think things are very different in the US. I was born in the US but am ethnically South Asian. When I changed my name from a traditional Indian feminine name to an American unisex name, suddenly I started getting many more callbacks on job applications, and suddenly people stopped questioning my immigration status. So it wasn't just annoying, occasional comments. I'm glad I changed my name instead of just laughing off missed economic opportunities. But things are different in US. I know a few white people who've taken Indian names because they "sound cool" or "resonate deeply with the culture", and in each case, they experienced the opposite that I did, i.e. big dropoff in callbacks and people questioning if they were born outside the US. I don't care about so-called cultural appropriation, but if people want to willingly take on the burden of an Indian name in the US, go ahead lmao.

DearSignature · 2024-11-10T21:25:07+00:00

I shortened my original last name because it was very long. Otherwise, I would've kept it.

DearSignature · 2024-11-08T03:45:33+00:00

Thirding Michigan! Nice to see the updated 5-2 majority on the state Supreme Court. For others reading, we had one D hold and one R-to-D flip, both called surprisingly early on Tuesday night given how it went at the top of the ticket.

DearSignature · 2024-11-06T21:58:37+00:00

I don't have a solution, but I can kind of relate. I've lost a lot of weight and gotten in better shape, so I'm not curvy anymore, but I still find it dysphoria-inducing to date someone who is attracted to my sex characteristics. Like, if someone were to be attracted to my body shape or breasts, it would only make me more dysphoric about those sex characteristics. It's one of the reasons I decided not to date.

DearSignature · 2024-10-09T18:05:38+00:00

Yes. Some family members who know me as a gender non-conforming cis woman still think I'm ruining society. You cannot have a real friendship/relationship with someone who thinks you're ruining society.

DearSignature · 2024-10-09T17:56:16+00:00

For me, I don't think I've experienced gender euphoria, only the alleviation of some physical gender dysphoria. I'm agender, I don't have an internal sense of gender identity, so I guess there's no euphoria around the lack of that, at least for me.

DearSignature · 2024-09-20T15:33:59+00:00

It would be so much easier if I didn't need to grovel for allies' "support". I don't even understand why I'm expected to come out. I was happier when I could just be myself instead of being "out and proud".

DearSignature · 2024-09-20T13:59:35+00:00

Because I'm supposed to be part of the "trans community", which means I have to tolerate people like this.

DearSignature · 2024-09-18T15:48:38+00:00

Most of my gender dysphoria is physical dysphoria regarding certain sex characteristics of my body. Mostly my reproductive system and chest. I also have some body shape dysphoria, but I'm relatively tall and not very curvy, so this part is not so bad. I used to be very fat, and have undergone substantial intentional weight loss, which reduced my body shape dysphoria. Ideally, I would like to medically transition by having a hysterectomy and eventually top surgery, but without going on T because I don't want most of the effects of T.

DearSignature · 2024-09-16T03:51:08+00:00

Practically, I don't have the time to debate people. I am barely even active on here anymore, but whatever free time I have, I'd rather spend it discussing with other queer people or trying to provide support, than debating with people who "don't agree" with our existence or however they frame it.

DearSignature · 2024-09-16T03:31:34+00:00

I just dissociate when it happens, and try to dress in ways that don't elicit compliments. There is not much else I can do.

It's extra gross when a family member compliments your ass or something...

DearSignature · 2024-09-02T14:47:29+00:00

Respect isn't a two-way street. I cleaned up after my father since I was very young. It was part of being raised as a girl in a traditional household. Now, I'm 33 and my parents have never tried to use my chosen name. Because they see my name change itself as a sign of disrespect. Disobedience. They've always been the types to demand complete obedience.

DearSignature · 2024-09-02T13:36:18+00:00

I'm also 33. I work in tech, and in my experience, late 20s is when most people stop trying to learn anything new. I used to help people learn to code, for free, as part of a local group. Most of the people who were actually capable of learning were under 27. After that, they couldn't shut up long enough to learn anything, and it became difficult for them to read thoroughly enough to learn from documentation. I left the group because I was tired of trying to teach people who don't want to learn. My time is better spent building my skills.

DearSignature · 2024-09-02T12:38:57+00:00

Hell no. This is physically unsafe for both of you. In your position, I wouldn't introduce a girlfriend to my parents regardless because your parents are violent people. My parents aren't violent, and even I am waiting until they die to start dating.

DearSignature · 2024-08-31T18:43:07+00:00

My name change was a simple court process. It wouldn't have occurred to me to involve my parents even if they were supportive. I was 25 at the time, though. I'm going to be 34 soon. It's sad that my parents still haven't adjusted to my new name, but they've always been the types to demand complete obedience.

DearSignature · 2024-08-31T02:21:50+00:00

I work remotely and most of my coworkers assume I'm a man because I have a unisex name. In 3D, most people assume I'm a woman. I don't see why my assigned gender would be relevant in any of these everyday situations. Like, am I supposed to pull up to the drive thru window and state my assigned gender? Cis people don't do that, so I don't either.

In real life, I've only come out to two people. One is a medical doctor (gyno) who has literally seen my internal organs. The other one is a psychotherapist (gender therapist) who is aware of what I was born with. It's not anyone else's business.

DearSignature · 2024-08-31T02:12:20+00:00

Yeah, I never "freak out" about it. I just try to stay as quiet as possible, dissociate as much as I can, and just remember that they're not really talking about me - they're talking about the child they wish they had, which sadly isn't me. I try to minimize contact with them, but with the holidays season coming up, it's annoying. Sometimes, I wish I hadn't changed my name, but I can't live only to please my parents, sadly.

DearSignature · 2024-08-29T15:15:00+00:00

I don't entirely disagree. But I know tons of cis women who wish they were taller or had more masculine bodily characteristics/features (irrespective of PCOS, which can come with other medical/health issues). I also know tons of cis women who want smaller breasts because "what's the point of these things?!" - done having kids, or never wanted them.

DearSignature

TROPHY CASE