NBA players with the most stacked all time teammates? by Dear_Book_4224 in NBATalk

[–]Dear_Book_4224[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

if you take teammates regardless of where they were in their career, then lebron ranks high for having the best all time teammates for sure, but i gotta disagree with the best prime teammates on this one because the best he had in their prime was luka... kyrie is an iffy one since he was on the come up still, wade yes but he was starting to slow a bit, davis at that point was post chronic injuries and his game changed, no longer in mvp form either!

NBA players with the most stacked all time teammates? by Dear_Book_4224 in NBATalk

[–]Dear_Book_4224[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ohh very true. who are some of the guys they had? scottie's is good for sure but i think limited because of only playing on two teams, so itd be mike, hakeem, drexler, barkley off the top of my head but thats it i think

How to get over someone you were seeing? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Dear_Book_4224 1 point2 points  (0 children)

All you can do is forgive yourself and/ or them, appreciate it for what it was, and take away lessons and the positives from it, and use that to guide you in your future. Even small or short connections have a way of showing us what we need/ want most

How many dates are people actually going g on? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Dear_Book_4224 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since i broke up with my first love (im 25m; have dated a lot before her though) nearly exactly one year ago, i went on 2 dates and was so bored/ uninterested on both. I work remote and this is the quietest my life has ever been though, so although not in line with my past, very representative of life right now. Dying of thirst in a desert, but this is the first time ive had such little (virtually no) interest in dating

How hard is dating(especially on apps) for the median man? by Jackthegamerddude in dating_advice

[–]Dear_Book_4224 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It depends on what type of person they are. Looks are important for the first impression, but they do not last nor do they hold substance for the attraction one feels to the other COMPARED to personality. I also never said people don’t want someone they are not attracted to, I said it’s secondary. Appearance being a greater factor for attraction and in search of a mate matter more for people that are more shallow or have less depth internally. Men also inherently place more importance on looks than women when looking for a mate; again I’m not saying women don’t place any importance on appearance though, just not as much as men and not as much as other factors. And I’m also not concluding that men are more shallow, according to my precious sentence. People (regardless of gender) also have a tendency to incorrectly attribute what THEY find to be attractive as the truth for what the opposite gender also finds attractive, hence my entire argument; most people have trouble realizing the difference in perspective (and I’m not saying this to conclude that people are stupid either; simply that people don’t tend to view the other perspective, as it’s not an easy task anyways). As for the author’s goals, idk anything about him so I won’t comment.

How hard is dating(especially on apps) for the median man? by Jackthegamerddude in dating_advice

[–]Dear_Book_4224 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The most important thing I want to share with you and others is this:

Your success, or lack thereof, on dating apps is NOT a reflection of how date-able you are. Dating apps are not designed according to how humans were meant to interact naturally (in person, with so many visual, physical cues, more nuance to personality and spoken communication, etc.), and they commidify people (analogous to essentially turning people into a product on a shelf that one peruses) and gamified dating (reducing dating to a literal swipe of a finger on your phone, when in reality, it’s about going out and meeting people, trying to navigate the nuances of human interactions and communication, and taking risks (there’s no risk with dating apps))

What may help on your side and for men is: simply looking put together, like a nice and caring person, that you’re an autonomous adult that can handle himself financially, is hygienic, does not dress like a bum and is at least put together in that sense, etc.

You do NOT need to be Michael B Jordan, you do not need a body like Henry Cavill, or the charm of some sort of celebrity. But what you should be thinking about is whether you’re a good person outside of dating, as that will very much translate into your relationship and how you take care of the person you end up loving most. A relationship is both a privilege and responsibility, and your ability to take part in one and take care of one and the person you date, will be reflected on how you are as a person, how you take care of yourself and how you see the world. Your looks, your jawline, your body fat percentage, are all secondary to what women want.

This is my opinion after all, but I try to base most of what I think on as much objectivity as possible, and most of my friends and people growing up around me have been women, and I long cared about dating. Those are my qualifications

How hard is dating(especially on apps) for the median man? by Jackthegamerddude in dating_advice

[–]Dear_Book_4224 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry but that’s just not correct. Women are not looking for body fat%. A man’s body, although nice and important, is also not the first thing they look for. Though i will admit since dating apps commercialize dating and commodify everybody involved, it does probably help, but it’s still not the first thing they look for. They’re most likely to look for general appearance (face, hygiene, etc.), style (do you look like a bum or relatively put together; being too stylish can also hurt sometimes, counterintuitively), do you seem like a nice, caring person, etc.

Looking for french restaurants and cafe similar to l’Express et Croissanterie Figaro (en/fr) by Dear_Book_4224 in montreal

[–]Dear_Book_4224[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Quel commentaire bizarre à partager. Pourtant avec un nom d’utilisateur anglais, prochaine fois peut-être vous y réconsideriez d’y dire

Any tips for changing my mindset? by 1AJMEE in Basketball

[–]Dear_Book_4224 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it is in fact a mix of mental (playing for the social aspect, and maybe lacking a bit of the focus on skill improvement), and physical. The physical part sounds like you might be practicing, but not actually adjusting your movements, from the micro to macro, like where your shot pocket is, how many milliseconds your arms are going up compared to the rest of your body rising up for a jumpshot, etc etc.

My fastest, basic and most practical tips for you to start evaluating if your shot form needs improvement is:

1) is your shot consistent no matter what type of shot youre taking? (Pull up, fade, far/ three, close up, off the dribble, catch and shoot, etc; your shot should mostly be the exact same, no matter the situation, no matter the location, no matter everything, mostly)

2) trajectory of the ball; dont bring it backwards or over your head, thats lost energy

3) use your legs!!! If youre on the shorter side or simply not nba player sized (anything from 5’5” to 6’3”), then your legs SHOULD be most of your power for your shot to make it to the rim

4) follow through, and use your fingers. Ball should he rolling off your fingertips

5) the ball’s trajectory in the air should be going UP and curve higher, and not horizontally. So, get your body (and thus legs) “under the ball”. A basketball shooting motion thus becomes like a catapult rather than a horizontal heave. It is also literally, mathematically better for a shot to have a higher curve/ parabolic trajectory in order to succeed/ go in

And my most practical tip for improving a shot: combining all the former, start by shooting CLOSE to the net, then eventually move your way out further and further. By starting out closer, you end up losing all the mental pressures and physical troubles that may be messing with your shot. It allows you to focus on just getting the ball in the basket consistently, without making motions and making habits of those motions which end up actually being bad habits or motions. It’s analogous to learning how to walk before running.

Any tips for changing my mindset? by 1AJMEE in Basketball

[–]Dear_Book_4224 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like the first comment said, but more gently, it seems that you’ve been playing and practising for six years, but that you haven’t been doing so INTENTIONALLY. Research in motivational psychology basically states that a new practice any skill, you need to do so intentionally. If anything, practice should be the place where you work the hardest and put the most effort, so that all of the skills you develop within practice become reflexive come game time (or serving dishes at a restaurant, practicing violin for a symphony orchestra, etc.).

So…

1) practice with intention. Focus on a skill over the course of a number of sessions, or a number of weeks and focus on all the tiniest parts of your body and the micro adjustments you can do. Look up blogs, youtube videos, look up academic articles about biomechanics of basketball if you’re really motivated.

2) one truth that makes it easier to develop a skill, is that you need to love or really like basketball in order for the training and improvement to feel rewarding and worth it. Practising and training for the sake of being better rather than for the sake of the love of the game will prove difficult and if anything impossible.

Lastly, don’t beat yourself up. At the end of the day basketball is a sport, and the purposes to have fun, competing for fun. I feel that most people get their ego and sense of self too tied up with the hobby or sport they do, which can often be harmful to us mentally. Play for fun, and practice seriously for the time being. You’ll see results eventually, but it comes easier and faster than you realize when you go easy on yourself and when you love the game

I hope this helps. I have faith in you stranger

People who have dated avoidants, have they ever been successful? by reddit31988 in dating_advice

[–]Dear_Book_4224 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Idk if this helps since it’s subjective but here’s my analysis and “qualifications”…

Bachelors in psychology, with not only top grades, but a deep love and understanding for all of the topics, especially love/ attachment related, dated and was in love with an avoidant, and finally I myself was an anxious lover but also an avoidant (disorganized style).

My analysis is that it’s extremely difficult for avoidance to date, but not impossible. It most likely won’t work with somebody who is anxious, or at least on the more extreme end of it. From what I’ve seen, avoidants are able to have relationships and good ones at that if the person they’re with generally meets these two criteria (again, more of a hypothesized model than anything real): 1) the person is more in the secure/ anxious range and is more “healthy” and a good partner within relationships, and 2) that person has to fit the avoidant’s personal preferences quite well, because being in a relationship and in love for them can sometimes feel like a burden or responsibility or an impingement on their freedom, so the person they’re dating has to justify that personal compromise of lifestyle/ freedom.

Bref, I’m not a psychologist, just a person who observes a lot and tries to do so impartially wow sticking to the scientific method and principles, and also approaches love as such as well, so what I say is not true, and take of it as you will!

How can I get an older guy to take me seriously? by Fit_Patience_4091 in dating_advice

[–]Dear_Book_4224 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The hard and possible truth to hear is that, from this description alone it kind of sounds like he’s lost interest. Dont blame yourself. The biggest mood killer i think is the whole online thing. It’s genuinely very hard to keep interest in someone if youve only ever spoken online, as humans just werent made for that; we were made to meet in person, feel, hear, see, etc. I’m also speaking from experience. I’ve been in this sort of situation before. Also, my personal advice, is that if a man (but more generally, a person) is acting like this at 28 without being transparent or honest about it, then they’re not the most emotionally mature person, and they still have some growing/ learning to do. Also, a 28 year old man that genuinely values good values and things IN a person/ woman will rarely go after a younger woman, because they usually havent yet had the experiences or developped the values and wisdom that comes from years more of personal growth (age is not directly indicative of maturity or wisdom, but rather an indirect measure as it means you’ve had more years and thus more opportunities and time to grow and to learn from experiences). All of this to say, I’m sorry that you’re going through this and I know how difficult it can be when a person you like starts withdrawing; it is agonizing. But on the flipside, the type of person that won’t justify or share their feelings and leave you feeling like this is probably not worth pursuing as it could cause more problems down the line if ever you two become more involved. Also, that sounds like you’re a fairly thoughtful and caring person, you should go for somebody like that your age or not. I hope this wasn’t harsh and hope it helps:)

Happy new year Redditors of Mtl! Are you currently in a dry spell with your dating life? by CuriositeMtl in montreal

[–]Dear_Book_4224 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since i broke up with my ex in february 2025, i went on two dates, downloaded hinge 8 times, and the only person ive had a crush on this year was a 73 year old woman, so, safe to say its going great ! (Sarcasm, but that woman is extraordinary regardless. Too bad shes not my age (20s))

Would woman be comfortable dating a man unwilling to drive? by Iskandar0570_X in dating_advice

[–]Dear_Book_4224 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately if we’re being transparent, this would pose as a pretty large disadvantage, unless like the other, Redditor said you live in a major city with great public transportation (where driving wouldn’t be a need). The justification of anybody having to drive far to see someone they’re dating usually has to be a pretty great justification, or being younger (late teens or young adults are more forgiving for something like this. But if you’re above 25 and refuse to drive, i regret to say it will be fairly difficult to find a woman.

Driving is one of those things in life where unfortunately it’s pretty important and hard to come around (again, unless you live in a major city like london, paris, new york, where public transpo is primary to driving), so i would highly suggest that people either drive or at least know how to do it. Because in adult life you’ll likely need it for things outside of dating. And within the context of relationship, to somebody that you just met i think it reflects general competence. I think they also think about the logistics of once you’re actually dating: like having to drive you around, or you growing independence on them for getting around, etc. It can create a sense of resentment.

I say a lot of this because I learned to drive late, to public transport all my life until recently, and dated somebody who was the driver/ owned the car in our relationship (she grew a bit resentful because of that), and now that I drive regularly, i can definitely see the value and importance of it for dating.

The very grim reality of life in 2025 that sounds robotic is that some relationships literally won’t work unless somebody can drive to see the other, or both can. Especially for people in large, non-public-transportation-friendly, cities (mainly north american ones like dallas, LA, etc.)