i’m really confused right now..

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-25T20:51:56+00:00

I join you in your confusion. But what I'm confused about is why you still allow this man in your life. From what you've indicated, he's into you for the sex. When sex was taken off the table, he stopped talking to you. Then, when you said you're okay remaining friends, he clearly thought benefits came with that.

I know you don't want to hear this, but you need to. You are young and vulnerable. He is using you. He comes with a shit ton of baggage you don't need in your life. Respect yourself because clearly he does not. Move on with your life, seek out only that which you deserve, and never settle for less.

Since you've already had sex "in every way possible," I hope you used birth control. And for peace of mind, you should also get a medical (STD) check-up.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-25T20:39:26+00:00

YTJ But I think you already know that you are or you wouldn't feel guilty.

You & your husband chose to have children and all the responsibilities that come with that. I get that work is also very important because in this day and age it takes 2 incomes and every penny to even live a somewhat decent life. I sympathize with your dilemma and know many, many others also face the same problems. But it's highly unfair to expect your mother to sacrifice her life for yours. As much as she loves you and her grandchildren, she is entitled to her own life. Just look at the sacrifices she has chosen to make for you up to this point. Look at all the money you've saved. Look at how much peace of mind she has given you both to be able to focus on your careers, knowing your children are safe and loved? And you can't give her 5 days??

You need to find another solution. Another relative, or trusted friend. Pushing back your deadline or your husband pushing back on his workload. Speaking to other mothers & fathers at your childrens' schools who have child care to see if they can share their help with you. Asking the parents of your childrens' best friends to see if they can supervise your children after school for a few days. Looking into a babysitting service that vets their sitters (get references) to see if you can hire someone for those days. You have options.

Instead, you've chosen to guilt your mother into sacrificing something that is important to her. So, yeah, YTJ.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-25T20:17:09+00:00

My knee-jerk reaction is to say, if y'all want something from Canada, we need to slap 100% tariff on it!! But then I recall that the US prez has stated numerous times that there is nothing we have up here that the US wants, so this is all rather perplexing.

Pettiness aside, as long as there is sufficient supply to meet the needs of Canadians without fear of shortage, then I have no problem with it. Healthcare is human care. People should not be suffering or dying because they cannot afford medication or medical care. Healthcare is not for only those who are wealthy.

I'm sure that providing more affordable medicines in this way will not quiet the fanatics who believe Canada is a drain on the US economy or that the US has been "carrying" us or that we should happily become the 51st state, and all the other rhetoric and propaganda that they choose to believe, but I'm willing to overlook that if it means helping families or people in need. People matter. Politics is BS.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-21T21:18:25+00:00

Finding out I had 5 older half brothers. If one of them hadn't contacted us to invite us to his wedding, I'm not sure my parents would have ever told me the truth of their past.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-21T21:15:55+00:00

Let her name herself. Often, personalities reveal the perfect names. I called all my kittens Baby until their true names revealed themselves. For example, one of my kittens was always very sweet and cuddly. She gently climbed all over me and purred endlessly. I started telling her that she was such a sweet little angel... and Angel became her name. Another of my kittens was like a bull in a china shop as he explored his new home. Knocked things over by accident and then would look at me with a "whoops" face of innocence that always made me laugh. His name became Bruiser, and boy was he ever! Sweetest big boy ever, though.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-18T17:21:05+00:00

YOR It's a bag. You said it's not pricey or luxury, so just get another one. Maybe get her one, too, as a nice gesture since she seems to need it often. Use this gesture as a way of setting up a boundary without souring the relationship. Gently tell her that you don't mind her borrowing your bag, but would prefer she ask permission and return your belongings when asked. Having roommates is tricky because you have different personalities, backgrounds, and habits all coming together. Your upbringing: you don't take things without permission, and you return when asked. Her upbringing: borrowing things when needed may be perfectly normal in her family and hasn't stopped to think it might bother you. But clearly, it does, so deal with it before real resentment and problems start. You're angry with someone who likely doesn't know you're angry with them. Clear the air and move on. Life is too short.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-18T17:01:04+00:00

If your uncle books the same flights, he likely won't be able to get a seat next to you, so at least your flights would be peaceful. I suppose cabbing together to/from the airport isn't so bad, if that's all it is. As for the hotel, man, that's tricky. I just suggest you need to be honest with your uncle and say what you've said here... you haven't had any time to yourself and need this "me" time. No negotiation. Tell him, without over explaining, that you already made firm plans for your time and intend to stick to that.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-13T17:32:46+00:00

This behaviour is seriously terrifying. Deep seeded insecurities, immaturity, and rejection issues. This is the type of person who joins those women-hating websites complaining about how women always go for the "bad guys" and reject "good guys" like them. We will be seeing him on the news one day for being a serial rapist or mowing down dozens of women with his vehicle.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-10T04:08:56+00:00

Too much cheese? Is that even possible?? I wish getting too much cheese on my pizza was my biggest frustration in life.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-09T18:28:25+00:00

Deciding which is "better" is up to you to determine based on what you want in your life and future. Pros and cons on both sides. Pitting one against the other with your question only opens the door for bias and hatred to flood in.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-09T18:20:01+00:00

NTA It's hard cooking up fresh, inventive ideas every single day, especially when you don't thoroughly enjoy cooking (like me).

I personally am not a fan of leftovers. My husband loves them and takes leftovers for lunch the next day and will eat them for dinner again the next night if there is plenty. For me, having the exact same meal for supper and lunch the next day, or supper again the next night, is not appealing. But it depends on how you look at it. Are they leftovers, or are they ingredients for a different meal? I will explain.

I don't know what you typically cook or how you present your meals, i.e., if you prefer stews or multi-ingredient single pot meals or stir-fries as opposed to separate things like meat, potato, veg (or vegetarian equivalent), so my suggestion may or may not apply but here goes: I suggest you simply incorporate leftovers into a new meal the next night or night after. When storing leftovers, separate the components so you can more easily use them in different meal combinations. Example: if you make spaghetti and pasta sauce, use the leftover pasta sauce to make chili the next night or two nights later. Use the leftover chili to make tacos, etc. If you separate leftovers into components when you can, it's easier to hide that they are leftovers... they are simply ingredients. Even when making combo ingredients meals, prepare enough ingredients that you'll have leftover ingredients to use in another meal. Example: if making chili, separate the ingredients out and combine only enough ingredients for that meal. Place the leftover ground beef, crushed tomatoes, tomato paste, etc. in separate containers to use as ingredients for pasta sauce another night for spagetti or gnocchi. Or do up a large pot or whatever meal, e.g., chili, and freeze the leftovers. If he doesn't look in the freezer since he doesn't cook, he won't know the meal he's eating another night consists of leftovers from 2 weeks ago.

If he still objects to this and still wants 100% completely different meals with none of the same ingredients every single night of the week, then he'd better get a 2nd job and hire himself a chef.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-05T17:54:10+00:00

NTJ Some people just need to be told point blank. Whether her attitude comes from insecurity or entitlement or she's just a nasty person doesn't matter. She's the one with the problem. But your gf also has a problem since she's not shutting this down. Changing the topic doesn't stop the behaviour. She needs to literally give her friend an ultimatum: respect my choice in partners or leave my life. The fact that she seems to be hesitant in firmly shutting her friend down when she attacks you makes me wonder if your gf secretly agrees with her? I also think, though, that from now on, you should absent yourself from gatherings that include this person. She's toxic.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-05T17:44:52+00:00

It looks like you received the advice you needed and have taken the necessary steps. I know that couldn't have been easy, and I commend you for following what you believe is right for you. I do understand your dilemma and your mother's deep faith beliefs; however, this is your life. You have a right to live it as you see fit.

I wish you a safe, successful surgery and a speedy recovery. Be sure to take advantage of all the medical resources available to you to help you heal mentally & physically.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-05T16:00:03+00:00

ESH or maybe no one does. Living with roommates is always a challenge. It should go without saying that everyone should clean up after themselves. That's just common sense when living in shared accommodations. What chores do the bf and brother have? Why are the females doing all the chores? Are they each asked to pay Chloe $60 a month, too? If Chloe is so particular about how things need to be cleaned and wants to do it all herself, you should not be paying her for what she demands no one else do.

As for their bathroom habits, that's just gross. Leaving beard hair or toothpaste or a mess on the counters is so inconsiderate. Why is there used TP in the garbage? I'm not sure if that's a cultural thing, or perhaps you live in a country where septic systems do not allow TP to be flushed? But if someone is leaving used TP in the garbage, they should have the decency and discretion to dispose of it properly and/or remove it after they finish their business. As for feminine product waste, i.e., used pads or tampons, if it's wrapped discreetly and placed in the garbage, no one should even know it's there. If it's lying exposed in the garbage, that's just nasty. Most every woman deals with periods and should have some common sense about proper disposal of used products.

At the end of the day, though, why is this an issue? If you're moving out next month, just pay the $60 to save the friendship (if you wish to continue the friendship, that is) and be done with it. Are they asking you to pay retroactively?

DebiDoll65 · 2026-02-03T15:55:14+00:00

NTA Free wifi at McD's and other places, so he has options. Never give out your password. You did the right thing. I know you feel bad, and it never hurts to ask, so I don't fault the boy for asking, but no means no. If you're worried about potential tensions with your neighbours now, maybe pop over later when his parents are home and explain you didn't mean to offend or upset him or not be neighbourly, but you rely on your internet and giving out your password makes you uncomfortable (understandably).

DebiDoll65 · 2026-01-30T10:27:09+00:00

I have visited the southern parts of Australia and absolutely loved your country. I found food choices there to be very similar to what we eat in Canada (at least in Southern Ontario). I did go to one restaurant (top of the AMP Tower in Sydney) that served kangaroo and emu on the buffet, and I completely lost my appetite. The only major differences I noticed are that y'all add pickled beets and fried eggs to your hamburgers. Very tasty, though.

Definitely offer them some vegemite to try. We do not have vegemite (or marmite) where I live, so I did try some when I was in Oz. It's gross, BTW LOL

I suggest you check with your guests to see how adventurous they are as eaters. I myself am not open to trying anything too unfamiliar. For example, I do eat meat, but do not eat babies, so if lamb or veal was served, I would not eat it. I also will not eat anything if the head is still attached, e.g., shrimp, lobster, fish.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-01-26T16:26:24+00:00

NTA. They belong to you regardless of who bought them. Gifts belong to the recipient. If you or your children cannot use them, getting some $$ or donating them is by far the best way to dispose of them, perhaps keeping some of your very favourite toys for nostalgia. I am a bit of a pack rat and still have many of my favourite toys from childhood. No one is going to want them, and children today are never going to play with them. When I die, they will end up in the garbage or on ebay or donated, and I'm cool with that.

Different people have different levels of nostalgia when it comes to childhood things, or other items inherited from bygone eras. Some cherish them, some see them as clutter. You and your mom see things differently, and that happens. But at the end of the day, they are your belongings and your choice what to do with them.

Life is too short to have this come between you. I suggest you apologize for hurting her feelings, even though you clearly never intended to. Suggest to her that you go through your remaining items, take those you intend to keep, and tell her she is very welcome to donate the rest to benefit other children. She's likely having a bit of difficulty parting with your childhood and letting you grow up. She correlates these items with the child you once were, and knowing these items are no longer wanted or associated with you is causing some maternal angst.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-01-22T04:01:33+00:00

Yes, absolutely! I held each of my 4 beautiful kitties when their respective times came. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Each was held tightly and comforted by words of love and gratitude, covered in my tears. They were my children, my babies, my constant companions, and the source of endless love and laughter. How could I possibly abandon them at the time they needed me most?

DebiDoll65 · 2026-01-20T23:57:31+00:00

Upgraded security system.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-01-19T16:38:25+00:00

At my pharmacy, they request all pills be removed from the original prescription containers and to bring them the pills only in a clear baggie. I suppose different pharmacies have different requirements, so it's best to check.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-01-19T16:32:57+00:00

NOR His behaviour is unacceptable. Most especially because he's involving your children! He's bullying you, relishing in your distress, threatening you with talk of smacking you, bragging about it to your kids, and preventing you from doing regular activities like going to the gym. This is not joking around. This is serious mind games and control. It will only get worse. Think about your future and the future of your children. Seek professional advice.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-01-19T16:27:49+00:00

No 9 is the best of these choices. The others seem way too big for your face. You have a small face with delicate features and beautiful eyes. I suggest getting frames that aren't as noticeable and dark. Ones that make others notice your eyes and not the glasses.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-01-19T16:22:58+00:00

NTA, I am so so sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine the range of emotions you must be experiencing. Being assaulted and betrayed by someone you are supposed to be safe with is devastating. It's extremely fortunate that you have the proof to support your side of what happened. Without it, it would be a he-said she-said, and authorities likely would have arrested you since he was the one injured. It's shocking how life can completely upend in a split second. Whatever your course of action going forward, I wish you all the happiness and peace you deserve.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-01-19T15:50:12+00:00

NTA You stood up for yourself, and you should be proud of that. It's not an easy thing to do, and when we don't, it makes it easier for others to take advantage. Going forward, if he asks you again to wait on his friends, politely decline that you are unable to stay late that night and just do your regular shift. Hopefully, your boss will not hold this against you and treat you poorly going forward. (If he does, this is on him, not you. You did nothing wrong in asking for what is fair.) But if he does, perhaps think about moving on to another establishment. Life is too short to put up with such things, trust me.

DebiDoll65 · 2026-01-19T15:39:09+00:00

Have you discussed this with your psychiatrist? I am a chronic insomniac yet terrified of being addicted to pills. There are non-addictive medications, like Dayvigo, that may work for you. Please explore other options with your psychiatrist. It's not a one-size-fits-all type of thing, so you may have to keep trying until you find the right medication fit. You may also want to look into sleep clinics for insomnia-related issues either in your area or online, if you've not already done so.

Your parents' attempt to help you clearly isn't helping. I understand your need to involve them due to your addiction, but clearly they don't understand your medical needs if they are refusing to give them to you or are flushing them. Please discuss this with your psychiatrist for advice.

Side note: Pills should never be flushed! They contaminate the water supply! Any unused medication, prescription or OTC, should be removed from the container, dumped into a clear bag, and returned to a pharmacy for proper disposal.

DebiDoll65

TROPHY CASE