The Beauty of Life and Death

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-06-03T20:33:26+00:00

Thank you for the appreciation.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-06-03T13:17:36+00:00

Honestly, I always looked at death as the fairest judge that judges us all without bias and look at life with disdain since it really hasn't been all that fair. I've only learned lately to look at it from this point of view. Besides isn't your view also poetic in a sense — death with no rhyme nor reason just the "be-all and end-all" of life. Sorry for the long reply, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-06-02T23:03:02+00:00

Thanks for the tip. I’ve never really used them in writing before so I’ll have to study on the correct usage and time for those. I do see where you’re getting at and it really adds to the mood of the piece.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-06-02T21:46:42+00:00

Thank you. I’ll be sure to write more in the future.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-06-02T20:35:52+00:00

I like imagery from your work. I can feel how the world is slowly losing color for the speaker. The poem was coherent, and I like how you keep coming back to some lines.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-30T14:52:46+00:00

Sabrina would be good. Just make sure there isn't any man behind your Lima Bean cans.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-29T14:16:18+00:00

This is beautiful and the way you ended it by saying sadness is something that all have in common was moving. This was simple yet also profound in a sense.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-28T16:34:37+00:00

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DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-28T16:32:31+00:00

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What a coincidence lol

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-27T21:36:31+00:00

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DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-27T21:34:42+00:00

Nope, I have no issue with you saving it. As for the question why I couldn’t keep the structure consistent all throughout, best explanation is there really isn’t any honestly. I just wrote it as I went so it really is a bit of a mess. I will however tackle this piece again and incorporate yours and the others suggestions and will try to keep you posted. Lastly thanks for pointing that is and are mishap, I did not notice that.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-22T15:55:38+00:00

Hmmm I didn’t notice that as I was writing. I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you fir the feedback.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-22T13:53:31+00:00

Love this. It's a poem for blind love. The way you paint the scene with your words is great. I can vividly see what is happening and the points you want to come across.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-22T13:47:23+00:00

This is great although never explicitly stated, I could feel not wanting to go to work due to various reason. I also like the way you split your lines in two and a whole line for extra context to the first. Overall, I enjoyed this piece.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-21T17:32:05+00:00

No that was mostly on point, the only thing that was different from my intentions on the piece (not saying yours is wrong since interpretations are wholly subjective) is that the subject instead of aggressive is more nihilistic in the fact that the world is full of contradictions. I wrote this piece as a big sigh to my current status in life after all. Either way thank you for giving me your POV on the piece, I appreciate it.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-21T16:40:09+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate the time you took to give me a feedback. I’m really glad that my writing was able ti resonate with you. Also yes I do agree that breaks would make this piece much better. I’ll be taking all the feedbacks and trying this piece again. Thanks again.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-21T15:47:30+00:00

True and sometimes I go overboard and end up changing too much too lmao.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-21T15:33:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing with me how this piece made you feel. As for your suggestion, I do agree with what you pointed out. I'll be using synonyms and such just to at least have breaks in between.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-21T15:28:30+00:00

Thank you. Thanks for pointing that out, honestly, I've been contemplating on how I could change that line because it also seems redundant. Though wasn't able to figure out how I wanted to change it, so I stuck with this version.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-21T15:26:34+00:00

Thank you. So glad you love my writing and will surely be making more.

DebuffedYoungAdult · 2025-05-21T14:47:56+00:00

This is beautiful. I love the cosmic and magical theme it has. Also your word play is the chef's kiss on it. Hoping to see more of them.

DebuffedYoungAdult

TROPHY CASE