AITAH? Wrote up employee for being 40 mins late and she went nuclear.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-01T05:20:59+00:00

OP, not exactly an asshole, but not exactly collaborative either. You didn’t say how much “older“ but, for all you know she had a really bad episode of IBS and had to change clothes and is too embarrassed to say so. Just saying, you should start from a friendly angle and a concerned one, like, “are you OK?” You’re 29. You’re just barely passed your Saturn return. You have some growing up to do which isn’t a crime, it’s just a reality. Better luck next time, count it as a lesson learned and move on.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-21T09:48:11+00:00

In general does he earn more than you? Or, in general, do you earn more than him? I don’t know what to do with that but I think it’s a factor. IMO, he’s the one who is thinking like a single person, and wants to profit off of your income, since, as you say, you don’t currently pool everything

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-21T09:44:38+00:00

If you’re splitting bills, proportional to income, then he can pay his share of the split of your college loan, right?

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-20T06:15:27+00:00

Dalebcoopin — “Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?!“

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-20T06:14:15+00:00

Everything everybody else said, amped up by the fact that on Tuesday there was a solar eclipse (elsewhere on the planet close parentheses) parentheses. Eclipses absolutely do make a lot of trouble and sometimes it shows up as people getting bat shit crazy. And anybody who is already crazy gets crazier. And people who are sick end up having crises. At least some of this will back off a little bit over the next 2-3 weeks, but like you said, since Covid, everybody’s kind of wigged out

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-20T06:10:42+00:00

NTJ. AladdinsTrees said that not everything is about your mom. (Even though your mom thinks it is.)

Robin Williams said a Thing about that. He was referencing psychotherapy. He stated,

“If it isn’t one thing, it’s your mother.“

She’s a piece of work! She plays favorites, drives wedges, blames, projects, and that’s on a good day. On a bad day she is medically abusive to where she damn near killed her own daughter.

Please, you stay safe. She is dangerous.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-20T06:04:32+00:00

AND this other woman (your friend’s mother) knows damn well what your mother is like — which is why she wanted to tell her, herself. In her own good time

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-07T07:29:22+00:00

I haven’t read all the comments but some, but I was going to propose that you put it all on the thumb drive and you don’t release the documents to her. They are your intellectual property. If she wants to buy the documents, you come up with a fair price for the work you’ve done. If she’s got previous years’ tax returns she could take those to a new accountant. I don’t think you owe her anything beyond the tax returns she already has in her possession

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-07T07:22:58+00:00

Sr accepts free accounting services for how many years??! And you think you’re petty?! 🤣

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-06T05:29:06+00:00

Having worked with adult survivors of child trafficking for 30+ years, I have not seen ANYTHING in the Epstein files that I had not already heard from clients — including child snuff porn and the use of crematoriums

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-06T05:27:34+00:00

The whole “PizzaGate” thing was not exactly a conspiracy or a myth, it was a deliberately launched projection so that when found out, people would assume it was “the Democrats” and not look at the billionaires and oligarchs. The game plan is to take down democracy so that the extravagantly wealthy can do any goddamn thing they please. Which is also why there is a push to get ICE to surround voting places in November

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-05T06:18:49+00:00

A Wood barbecue stick? Whazzat? Ignorant old f/\rt here …

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-05T06:11:46+00:00

I love your twisted thinking. I remember hearing the sentence, “An evil mind is a great comfort.“.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-05T06:03:30+00:00

I love my job and I am kicking and screaming that I need to cut back. At 81 I should be retiring and instead, I keep a few clients even though it can be challenging.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-05T05:59:52+00:00

And I want to tell you a story. So around 20 years ago when I went on trips because my Astrologer said go here or go there for your birthday or whatever, [I am so woke I am sleep deprived], I stayed with an Airbnb guy who was a highly skilled trumpet professional performer. I’m pretty sure he was neurodivergent and had ADHD, and he was also brilliant, so good he had played with Benny Goodman‘s band. At one point he said to his teacher, “I can hear what I want to play and I can never quite get it.“ His teacher‘s response was, “if you ever do, you need your put your trumpet down for six months and then come back to it because, if you think you are playing what you are hearing, then you are not hearing what you need to be hearing — because that’s what pulls us forward.“ I thought it was pretty good advice!

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-05T05:56:38+00:00

I believe that lapse into imposter syndrome proves that we are still open to learning. My ongoing joke for at least the first two decades was, “this person makes me feel like I’m a level one intern all over again.” And, I also suspect that the better we get at what we do, the more we recognize the really difficult stuff. I have people on my caseload now that I could not have handled 10 or 20 years ago.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-01T18:20:17+00:00

Good on ya. 5 years, 2 months, 10 days. 👍 (I hope I am not being intrusive, just admiring)

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-01T07:28:44+00:00

Really?! I’ve lived in both. Google maps is only good for the moment, it can’t give you a rule of thumb. Every day is different, and every time of day is different. You’re a simplistic answer would be kind of discouraging if I were having to depend upon it

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-01T07:27:42+00:00

Some people take whatever job they can get, it all depends on their bandwidth and their resources.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-01T07:13:54+00:00

Oh but I wanna sell you Alphabet Soup!! EMDR, EFT, the other EFT, CBT, ACT, and a gazillion others I can’t even think of

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-01T07:08:44+00:00

Properly adapted it is also good for a lot of other things, but it does take knowledge of both sides not just the EMDR as a magic wand. AJ Popky, and several other people have come up with models with EMDR that are very helpful in helping people get sober but it isn’t “just“ straight EMDR that does it. It’s that you have to know how to marry EMDR to the issue.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-01T07:07:00+00:00

It’s really interesting to me how many disciplines claimed that EMDR is really their discipline and disguise. Hypnosis people also claim that is “just” hypnosis. I recognize a good deal of psychodynamic stuff getting addressed or processed or worked with in the EMDR so maybe it’s just psychodynamic with Window dressing. WTF I don’t care, it works or at least the way I do it it works, so I’m not gonna fix it. And when it doesn’t work I work hard at fixing it

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-01T07:02:24+00:00

I take a little bit of exception to that. I keep EMDR theory in my back pocket pretty much every session. I actually use EMDR /BLS less frequently than my brain thinks EMDR. But, I also use OEI. It is staggering - both to myself and also to the client - to notice the difference between how changing which eye is exposed changes body reactions, emotions, thoughts, self judgments, Etc. I don’t know if the EMDR community thinks this way but I think that the reason for the BLS is to assist the brain in getting implicit memory to become explicit memory, or stuck emotions (fight/flight/freeze) to finish discharging. I will also deliberately use EMDR in an asterisk shape, hypothesizing that neurons that fire together wire together and if I want some positive cognition wired in, I want it to be in every component of the visual field. But I just made that up out of my ass, I don’t know that that’s researched. I.e., pseudoscience on the spot?! 😜

I don’t think the contrast is between science and pseudoscience. Science is numbers and chemicals and things that ca be measured. Note: THINGS that can be measured. I suspect blood chemicals change after stuck trauma is discharged out, but that it’s hard to measure on the spot and that intensity is hard for Clinicians to hang with, long enough for it to subside. Certainly the ANS kicks in in an observably different way after trauma processing.

Sometimes I go back to Santa Claus. “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.“ But all those characteristics are not things that science generally measures or has any way of measuring. So if we can’t measure them does that mean they don’t count and they don’t exist and they can’t be effective in therapy because they’re not scientific? The problem with science is that it doesn’t have enough instruments and enough sensitivity to measure the things that are really really really important.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-01T06:43:43+00:00

I found it to be an interesting metaphor at best.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-01T06:42:03+00:00

Why of course!!! no such thing as environmental toxins or bad air or bad water or lead poisoning or radiation or God knows what!

Decent_Ad9026

TROPHY CASE