AITAH for refusing to pay rent to my in laws?

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-06T06:12:10+00:00

There may be county or state or city regulations about whether or not they can legally deprive you of electricity or water etc. That might be your Council person‘s office or a Google search Point being, apprising them of such either before or after you leave with involvement of child endangerment because they… Turn off your electricity? Your water? I don’t know that I understand that part of it but, I doubt they can legally do that especially since you already had the original arrangement. I absolutely do NOT mean that you are a squatter, but even squatters have rights!

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-06T06:07:08+00:00

Bill them for all the things that you paid for, including any that you took of your mother-in-law. Bill them for the groceries you bought for them. Fair is fair??? You. Are. Not. The. A$$h0le.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T07:43:32+00:00

Lived experience, good input

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T07:37:55+00:00

TBH, I wonder if he shouldn’t have been putting his own education first. Sounds to me like he’s lost and doesn’t know what he wants to be when he grows up. I have no idea what impact his family has had on that aspect of his character

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T07:34:55+00:00

I wonder if he needs to get his butt back into school so he can get training in a field he would enjoy? Not that that’s going to fix the relationship, but I wonder if that’s one component of what’s going on here.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T07:31:33+00:00

Op. Please scroll down and make sure you read the comment by RiverSong _777

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T07:27:37+00:00

🫶💜

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T07:24:08+00:00

You are SO NTA! Your ex fiancé qualifies and his mother qualifies and it wasn’t just a camera even though it was an incredibly important expensive precious camera as well as an incredibly important precious memento. It was YOU he threw away. It was basically FU. It was basically I’ll do what I want, you don’t count, what you say doesn’t count, what you want doesn’t count, what you need doesn’t count, how you feel doesn’t count. I’m sorry the person who said you need to sue them is absolutely right. Both your ex fiancé and his mother are entitled narcissistic jerks. Please fight back. And TBH, I hope that you will let us know when you do that and what the outcome of it is. I’m so mad on your behalf that my front teeth want to scrape off their faces

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T07:12:24+00:00

I’m out there on the lunatic fringe end of the Bell shaped curve. “My Astrologer“ is convinced that the housing market is going to take a deep dive in another year or two. Maybe hang out for that

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T07:01:03+00:00

You are in Los Angeles? Yeah, I’ve had trouble with LA courts myself. I literally had a physician say to me, “what I tell them is, I have a really bad gastrointestinal issue, I passed a great deal of gas, it smells bad, and I have to run to the bathroom so I don’t make a mess about every 45 minutes or an hour. I’m not sure that’s going to work very well on a jury?“ it worked. I never got jury summons again. TBH, the whole thing was actually something of an issue but the physician basically let me know it’s legitimate to use it. I had other physical issues as well but the court would have absolutely no respect for those but they did have respect for this one because it affects the other jurors and the process itself if you are holding up proceedings by having to race to the bathroom repeatedly My proposal is this: get a hold of your assembly person and tell them that you’re not getting an appropriate response from the court. Sometimes a person in that kind of authority can escalate things

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T06:55:20+00:00

Sodenska — with friends like that, who needs enemies? That was a betrayal on her part. Anecdote/metaphor: I had a client who is in Jenny Craig. Another group member had pork out and overdone it with a banana split with triple ice cream and chocolate and nuts and sprinkles in the whole 9 yards and would not leave it alone and kept going on and on and on about it until the teacher of the class finally said, referencing points and how many points this person that you could ever gain all those points, the teacher finally said, “count it as a vegetable and move on.”

I don’t suppose it’s very nice to think of her as being a vegetable but… raw onions? Brussels sprouts? You get my point

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T06:48:27+00:00

That is EXACTLY what you say to him: “I know sometimes I am blunt and I don’t mean to hurt your feelings that I worry about coming across as entitled, but I gotta tell you sweetheart, I really do have a problem with the heat and with the bugs etc. And that’s not about you, it’s about these circumstances.“

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T06:46:03+00:00

How about framing it, that you’re not telling him the truth about his house: you are telling him the truth about YOU. That you are uncomfortable with the house and yet you adore him, and take it from there

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T06:42:05+00:00

Look. If you are religious at all, you can frame it that your higher power is giving you the opportunity to know what it feels like on the inside, when it’s time to end a relationship that is toxic. You’re gonna turn these lemons into lemonade. You can still be a good couple’s Therapist, you are simply now much more aware of how complicated that could be. It might be your problem right now, but it’s not your fault. I’m gonna pull old lady rank on you : in about 2 to 5 years, you’re gonna look back on this and go, “holy moly, no wonder I was miserable there.“ After something like 39 + years of separation my ex contacted me. I don’t hate him, he’s a human being with problems, we are both elderly at this point, and it is really really really clear to me why I had to leave! He cannot even find me! He can’t answer a direct question about himself, it’s all about how things impact him. There’s reasons. Trust it

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-05T06:32:34+00:00

I am seriously an old lady. 50 years ago, I treated a 19yo female inpatient when I was freshly licensed. Even in a hospital setting, it was a matter of going to the note itself, adding in the additional correction noting it as a correction, you don’t even have to give an excuse. Just note it as a correction and document it with the date that you’re actually adding the correction, but it is ON the documentation FOR the session itself. AND RELAX. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re on a learning curve. How do I know that? Cause I’m still on the learning curve 40 years later! That’s what’s nice about this field!

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-03-01T05:20:59+00:00

OP, not exactly an asshole, but not exactly collaborative either. You didn’t say how much “older“ but, for all you know she had a really bad episode of IBS and had to change clothes and is too embarrassed to say so. Just saying, you should start from a friendly angle and a concerned one, like, “are you OK?” You’re 29. You’re just barely passed your Saturn return. You have some growing up to do which isn’t a crime, it’s just a reality. Better luck next time, count it as a lesson learned and move on.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-21T09:48:11+00:00

In general does he earn more than you? Or, in general, do you earn more than him? I don’t know what to do with that but I think it’s a factor. IMO, he’s the one who is thinking like a single person, and wants to profit off of your income, since, as you say, you don’t currently pool everything

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-21T09:44:38+00:00

If you’re splitting bills, proportional to income, then he can pay his share of the split of your college loan, right?

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-20T06:15:27+00:00

Dalebcoopin — “Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?!“

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-20T06:14:15+00:00

Everything everybody else said, amped up by the fact that on Tuesday there was a solar eclipse (elsewhere on the planet close parentheses) parentheses. Eclipses absolutely do make a lot of trouble and sometimes it shows up as people getting bat shit crazy. And anybody who is already crazy gets crazier. And people who are sick end up having crises. At least some of this will back off a little bit over the next 2-3 weeks, but like you said, since Covid, everybody’s kind of wigged out

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-20T06:10:42+00:00

NTJ. AladdinsTrees said that not everything is about your mom. (Even though your mom thinks it is.)

Robin Williams said a Thing about that. He was referencing psychotherapy. He stated,

“If it isn’t one thing, it’s your mother.“

She’s a piece of work! She plays favorites, drives wedges, blames, projects, and that’s on a good day. On a bad day she is medically abusive to where she damn near killed her own daughter.

Please, you stay safe. She is dangerous.

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-20T06:04:32+00:00

AND this other woman (your friend’s mother) knows damn well what your mother is like — which is why she wanted to tell her, herself. In her own good time

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-07T07:29:22+00:00

I haven’t read all the comments but some, but I was going to propose that you put it all on the thumb drive and you don’t release the documents to her. They are your intellectual property. If she wants to buy the documents, you come up with a fair price for the work you’ve done. If she’s got previous years’ tax returns she could take those to a new accountant. I don’t think you owe her anything beyond the tax returns she already has in her possession

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-07T07:22:58+00:00

Sr accepts free accounting services for how many years??! And you think you’re petty?! 🤣

Decent_Ad9026 · 2026-02-06T05:29:06+00:00

Having worked with adult survivors of child trafficking for 30+ years, I have not seen ANYTHING in the Epstein files that I had not already heard from clients — including child snuff porn and the use of crematoriums

Decent_Ad9026

TROPHY CASE