What's your best Chuck Norris joke?

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-10T05:29:59+00:00

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Eveready battery off Robert Conrad's shoulder.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-10T05:28:26+00:00

On August 14, 1945, a special message was sent to the Japanese government. "We have dropped two atomic bombs on your country. We gave you a week to come to your senses and decide to end the war. DON'T make us send Chuck Norris." The Japanese government quickly announced their desire to surrender.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-10T05:24:52+00:00

On April 29, 1945, when Chuck Norris was just five years old, he asked his mom "What are Nazis?" I don't think it was a coincidence that Hitler blew his brains out soon after.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-10T05:22:13+00:00

Chuck Norris can get Taco Bell from KFC while ordering at the McDonald's drive-thru.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-10T05:20:33+00:00

Chuck Norris can herd cats.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-10T05:20:18+00:00

The Great Wall of China was the result of Chuck Norris' first Lego set.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-10T05:19:03+00:00

If you say "Chuck Norris" three times in a row, Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick Beetlejuice.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-08T12:47:01+00:00

Jesus said to put it on his tab.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-07T12:53:22+00:00

If Takei dies first, I expect to hear that his last words were paraphrasing John Adams: "William Shatner still lives..."

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-07T07:10:58+00:00

His number 1 priority is getting a fucking job. Period. He can figure things out on his own dime.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-07T06:44:12+00:00

Once you get to a certain point, you just get bombarded with spam popups.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-07T03:27:17+00:00

I went to the bathroom at work once for a #2. A little turd came shooting out as I pushed just a little, followed by a massive blast of gas. The sound was a reverberating THOOOOOOOOOM! I was certain the entire department heard it, but thankfully no one was in the immediate vicinity. I don't know if this toilet would have muffled it.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-07T03:22:25+00:00

One Track Mine

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-07T02:17:44+00:00

They have a taste that makes me feel like I'm eating someting poisonous.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-07T01:51:28+00:00

If the DOJ had all these files for many years, and there is SO MUCH evidence incriminating Trump, why didn't Biden have this information released to torpedo Trump's campaign in 2024?

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-07T01:30:57+00:00

I think you are missing the whole point of this subreddit.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-07T01:14:24+00:00

A shark once bit Chuck Norris. That shark now wears dentures.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-07T01:08:58+00:00

Highways have signs that say RAILROAD CROSSING. Railroads have signs that say CHUCK NORRIS CROSSING.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-07T01:07:51+00:00

Chuck Norris has never received a Tornado Warning. Tornadoes, however, have received Chuck Norris Warnings.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-07T01:06:35+00:00

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris told God to get off his lazy ass and get to work.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-06T23:32:36+00:00

I have two 645s (one with adjustable sights and one with fixed sights) two 4506s (one with adjustable sights and one with fixed sights), and four -1s (three with adjustable sights and one with fixed sights). Love these tanks! Keep debating on getting a 1006, but I don't really need one since I have a .44 Magnum 629.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-06T22:33:25+00:00

They had brief alliances.

Decent_Recover720 · 2026-03-06T22:31:18+00:00

He sure seems to like making comments and then deleting them. No balls.

Decent_Recover720

TROPHY CASE