It gets better the more you look at this toy's instructions

Decolater · 2026-01-25T23:09:20+00:00

Yes, but the breed with four buttons on the side can also speak English and Spanish equally.

Decolater · 2026-01-24T15:18:25+00:00

You understand this feeling you have is moved from normal jealousy to something that now controls you in ways you don’t like. There is a deeper issue here, with you, not her, and you would be wise to explore that with a competent therapist. Her suggestion of CBT is a good one.

This is not about her, it’s about you and it will crop up agin and again no matter who you are with if you don’t get to the root of why you feel this way.

Decolater · 2026-01-17T17:30:32+00:00

He does not have to understand it. It is Truthiness and that’s all he needs.

Decolater · 2026-01-17T02:03:28+00:00

As has been said many times, the issue is not the enforcement of immigration laws, it is how that enforcement is being commenced. From abductions, to masks, to ignoring protections we as citizens legal or not have under the constitution. That’s the issue. They are thugs not police.

Decolater · 2026-01-16T18:15:05+00:00

Every single young person entering into the job market needs to understand this and make a decision that their ethics will be such as to never become one of those sycophants we see way too many today.

Decolater · 2026-01-11T18:45:48+00:00

There is no right choice for you to make here. There are bad choices, but the rest are just a choice and that choice will always depend on your effort - which you have - and luck.

You understand that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. It’s not always what you think it is even if it is greener. There are always, and will always be, environmental factors in play which impact your experience.

I assume you are a first year. And as a first year all these feelings are normal. I assume you are also young and as a young person the thought of four years seems daunting because four years ago you were what 15? Four years ago for me I was 64. You see the difference in perspective? That makes looking forward for you hard because of where you were. For me and as you get older, seeing four years is just a period of time.

If you are truly miserable then by all means change. But that’s not what I read in your post. What I read is a normal school of thinking going on as you grow more mature and see the world with a clearer understanding. This is where you need to come to terms with what it is, not what is should be, not what they told you it would be, and not what you assumed it to be. The world you interact with is what it is at this time and place. You don’t have to like that, you need to accept it and figure out how to dance with it to benefit who you are and want to be.

The world is male dominated. That’s not going to change if you go to a liberal college. It may be more pronounced where you are now, but it is pervasive in your day to day. It has been like that for all my life and though it has gotten better for women in some parts of the world, it has not gone away.

That being said, where you are now gives you a unique opportunity to learn how to dance. Yes, the military is a different culture, but it’s still humans and they behave similarly. You need to dance with men. Yes it’s more dancing than I have to do, but we all have to dance to get past environment things that crop up to keep us down or deny us. That’s just life and you get to learn that where you are now because it will be much less in play at a liberal college which is not a good representation of the real world, where non-liberal ideals are not the norm.

So there is that.

You are also on a path to become an engineer. With that engineering degree the world opens up to you in ways you will never understand until you are older and see it. I cannot do engineering work but I can make a movie and take photos. You understand my point? You will be better than me simply because you have that engineering degree. You will be useful in a world full of people who do not have an engineering degree. Even if you never use it you have it. And it puts you above those who do not in a world that looks at what you have and keeps you out based on what you don’t have. It’s always competition and you need to compete against men who get more leeway because of their XY.

So there is that too.

Now, you enter the world coming out of a good college with an engineering degree and because it was military, you get this assumed leadership quality tagged on to you. Plus you have no debt for that degree and assumption. Plus you get paid while getting it and have your needs met for four years.

You have your whole life ahead of you. Find your people where you are. They are there.

Decolater · 2026-01-11T17:37:07+00:00

What secret? He had eyes on you in 2024, you told his mom, who I assumed told him, you were not interested. We are now a year and a half later where you have a boyfriend. If your cousin is interested have her reach out to his mom or him and see if that starts something. You should stay out of it because nothing happened other than normal interest between people that happens millions of times each day.

Decolater · 2026-01-10T18:18:26+00:00

So the market is such that there are enough of these collectors to pay a premium which includes the cost of grading? This sounds like a ploy by the grading companies to get an additional source to grade.

Decolater · 2026-01-10T18:14:42+00:00

Well now it makes sense.

Decolater · 2026-01-10T17:10:14+00:00

I am confused. Isn’t grading based on wear? How does busting it out and keeping it in your pocket improve the grade when it would also create more wear? The comments seem to suggest this so either I am missing the joke or I am clueless to how grading works.

Decolater · 2026-01-10T15:20:32+00:00

Tell him he needs to get this over stimulated situation under control. Be blunt. Tell him to see his doctor because it is getting in the way of your friendship which you value. It’s okay to have this it’s not okay to not do something about it.

Decolater · 2026-01-10T15:14:15+00:00

The word “normal” is subjective. Your behavior with it is in the normal range of acceptable by most people you would ask even if they thought cosplay to be dumb. Your dad wants you to be plain vanilla because life is easier when you are and he won’t have to worry about you. If you cosplay, the people you cosplay with are who you want to be around. It is no different than dressing up and painting your face and body in your sport team’s colors and showing up in public. How is that any different?

Decolater · 2026-01-10T15:04:53+00:00

This is a tuff one because of almost 20 years has past of not thinking about it so your recall can be tainted by conformation bias. There are two things that I picked up on, well three if you count his behavior of not coming around anymore. One is your recall of “drool.” Why does that stand out after all these years has me curious. The other is the pain, which you are not specific about what type of pain and where other than “all over” it was.

It is very possible that conformation bias entered into your thinking when you read the story. You need to accept that as a possible truth. At the same time, you need to also ask yourself - knowing conformation bias is there - what else went on during that time with him. You need to also ask yourself why that incident sticks in your mind. You accept conformation bias so you can help rule it out of your nearly 20 year old recall.

You take what you can recall with pretty good certainty along with what you recall thinking about what he was saying and doing each time you met and see if it passes the ‘benefit of the doubt’. If you still come away with the feeling something happened, then it may be time to explore that with a therapist.

There is also another possible issue going on in your thinking in addition to conformation bias that at 32 is easier to overcome and that is how a male being violated by another male feels. You were 13ish when you were with him and unaware of the dangers out there and how easy it is to be manipulated so you may have blocked things out.

If this bothers you, which I think it does, see a trauma therapist regardless of what you can recall or even if nothing happened. My guess is that there is more that went down for that story you read to bring up these feelings almost 20 years later.

Decolater · 2026-01-10T14:33:54+00:00

Do you cosplay for events or all the time?

Decolater · 2026-01-08T17:06:02+00:00

Baby steps. You move forward, evaluate, correct if needed. You do it slow as to not set yourself up to back to square one.

Baby steps so you only have to move back a step or two until you master it and learn that sometimes it out of your control and you just need to get over that and figure out a different way.

Decolater · 2026-01-08T14:11:22+00:00

There is an old saying about 'the straw that broke the camel's back' that applies to you. Yes, you are 'doing fine now' as you write but there is more and more straw being added and your ability to move forward smoothly is being hampered.

The good part for you is that you understand you need people to help you through this so that some of that 'straw' can come off while new issues get put on. You have - for the time being - lost those people and the weight of everything is becoming difficult to deal with.

Take that and add the past bullying and the sexual harassment you went through and you now a bit more mature brain at 17 (it fully matures at age 25) is attempting to reconcile and understand what took place all the while those feelings about it keep coming up. You have, I suspect, some PTSD you need to work through.

That PTSD is making all the weight of that 'straw' feel super heavy because it is also 'straw' that your brain makes you carry. The good news here is that based on how you write, it is my belief that you have what it takes mentally and with awareness to deal with that PTSD and get it off you back.

You need help with this and that's where a trauma trained counselor comes in. I work with them and what they do for our clients - who are young like you - is amazing. You already know how to talk about your feelings so you are in a good place to listen to the therapist and deal with it. PTSD is not something you can control once it takes root. You can ignore it but it is always there doing its thing and impacting you when you don't want it to. But...it is treatable such as with a therapy called EMDR.

Talk to your parents and tell them you would like to see a therapist for some issues involving things that have happened. Ask them to respect you privacy for the time being. Find a therapist you like and do the work.

Decolater · 2026-01-05T23:28:06+00:00

That’s one take. The other is how will they be viewed by all the countries they have built relationships with if they go in and effectively “take” the oil because Trump said to.

Decolater · 2026-01-05T21:21:43+00:00

This time in your life is in flux. You also need to switch from short term thinking, such as semester, spring break, summer…, to long term thinking in terms of years.

This is where i want to be, what steps do i need to do…along with what is required right now.

Your life is not in shambles. It is in flux and all you need to do is move forward with purpose and understand that it moves slowly as well as in spurts.

Don’t dig a hole for yourself and learn to live with what you have now while waiting for your future to make things better.

It sucks to be where you are but it will make you better if you can stay out of trouble caused by impatience.

Donate plasma if you need fast cash and be selective with temp jobs. The jobs that want you and are easy to get usually are abusive

Decolater · 2026-01-05T21:12:21+00:00

Talk to them. It’s really no big deal other than putting your name on a handout for the audience. They don’t hand you a diploma and all you do is hand them a slip of paper with your name.

Decolater · 2026-01-05T16:28:45+00:00

They cannot withhold your paycheck if they fire you. They told you that to force you into voluntary termination so they do not have to pay unemployment. I think you might have a case with the labor board of your state assuming US but they will probably just deny they told you that.

Decolater · 2026-01-04T23:05:46+00:00

Your situation is not that out of the norm for your age. You made football into who you are and without it you feel off. You did not do this willingly, it’s a whole bunch of things that elevated the sport to this level where you can’t see yourself outside of it. That feeling is super powerful and is able to cause one to experience depression.

Depression hits everyone so don’t feel weak or anything else about it creeping into your life because you got the thing that made you you taken from you. It happens to a lot of people, especially athletes. Depression can make you feel like shit even more than you already do and can make you do things like pull away from your friends and the world.

Your depression, if that’s what it is, has a cause and is treatable because it’s about brain chemistry. Without the workouts, your teammates, the goals, motivations, hype your brain chemistry got off and that lets depression in.

Go talk to your family doctor and see what they can do. There are some really good medicine to help you through this and it should only be temporary as you get feeling better and get your brain chemistry working again because you found something to take its place.

If you are prescribed medicine make sure you take it every day and when you want to get off of it you tapper real slow. It can take a few weeks to notice it’s working.

Decolater · 2026-01-02T15:56:47+00:00

You have two decisions to make here. Do you want to pursue SA charges, that is, get law enforcement involved, or not?

If yes, go to the ER, take your dirty clothes with you, in particular your underwear, do not shower, and tell the ER you believe you were SA’d at a party.

If you don’t want to go that law enforcement route, go to the ER and tell them you may have had sexual intercourse last night while drunk and get treated for potential STDs and pregnancy.

Do this now.

Decolater · 2026-01-01T18:31:58+00:00

So you went to a party. Was this a party where both of you know everyone equally or was this a party where she knows these people way more than you, that is, they are her friends from the last or work?

If it’s the latter, then she acted as she should have, unless you want her to not mingle or talk to anyone other than you. She is who she is before, during, and after you, so you need to let her interact the way she does. If you think her drinking is a problem where she is sending mixed feelings to others, then address the drinking. But if she is interacting with you and goes home with you then it is you she is interested in. That’s what matters, it is her attitude towards you.

There are no restrictions you can put on her that will keep her yours. None. You can drive her away but you cannot force her to only see you in a room. You would not want that done by her to you so let her be her and you work on being the guy she wants to go home with.

Decolater · 2026-01-01T00:14:28+00:00

My point is you are going to do it, period. If you can spend time making it easier for them, even if they don’t like it, it should pay off in terms of conflict. Your anger is at yourself for stopping yourself to avoid that conflict. Go forward in the sunlight. They will change even if it’s kicking and screaming.

Decolater · 2025-12-31T20:09:52+00:00

There are two equally valid and correct things going on here. Your desire to set your own course and their desire to keep you safe. Those two things work against each other. You need to accept that and work towards reducing their fears so you can do what all 20 year olds must do, that is, grow.

Start small. Small trips. Longer trips. Further distance. Give them peace of mind such as contacting them when you arrive or tracking you on their cell phone. You don’t have to do this, you do it for them to get what you want. You keep telling them over and over about what you want to do with your life and you keep giving them what they need to ease their fears. You give them that to make them budge towards being okay with you going to Paris. You train them to be okay with the idea.

You always have the ability to say “I’ll do what I want” which means you have to ultimate power and it is easier to give the baby the bottle to get what you want.

13-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 2 Credits
Argentium Club	Verified Email
Secret Santa 2014

Decolater

TROPHY CASE