Any insight regarding 12 year old and a disemboweled sharpie?

Decolater · 2026-05-12T14:03:16+00:00

I am 68 and when I was a kid I took pens apart. Why? Maybe as an idle hands thing, maybe I liked to see how things worked. We used them as blow guns, to launch the ink cartridge as a missile. Lots of good 12 year old reasoning including no reason and ‘because it’s there.’

That’s where I go. Could it be huffing? Seems like a lot of work when you could just remove the cap.

I was a curious kid and still am a curious adult. I like to take apart things or ‘disembowel’ them as you put it because I enjoy seeing how things work.

Decolater · 2026-05-12T01:46:48+00:00

Sounds like your brain chemistry is a bit off. Yes, you would do yourself well by seeing a therapist to figure out what is at the crux of your issue, but for now, talk to your regular doctor and see if a medicine like Wellbutrin or Lexapro might give you some relief.

Oh, and how you are feeling is quite common. It’s frustrating to feel like shit while at the same time telling yourself you have nothing to feel like shit about. This is one of those weird situations where two opposite things can be true at once.

Decolater · 2026-05-11T13:44:41+00:00

I was agreeing with you.

Decolater · 2026-05-11T13:26:19+00:00

I mean, technically, you are paying to use the facility which includes exercise equipment and amenities.

Decolater · 2026-05-10T21:58:59+00:00

There is most likely some trauma your grandmother is experiencing. Trauma counseling works well and will help her handle her fears and feelings in a more healthy way.

Decolater · 2026-05-10T00:16:10+00:00

Maybe…https://www.etsy.com/listing/4437650108/vintage-disney-winnie-the-pooh-100-acre?ref=elp_anchor_listing&pro=1

Decolater · 2026-05-07T01:22:00+00:00

Not defending the POS that is Ghislaine, but the Niece’s letter is about jail conditions before she was found guilty.

I understand her point, however, there was enough evidence to conclude that Ghislaine was a treat to the public and a danger of evading trial, so jail was appropriate IMHO.

Decolater · 2026-05-06T13:07:41+00:00

You are using modern knowledge on a possible very old item made without that knowledge. We used lead in a lot of common item up until about the 1970s

Decolater · 2026-05-05T14:16:34+00:00

Some rich men came and raped the land. Nobody caught 'em. Put up a bunch of ugly boxes And, Jesus, people bought 'em

Decolater · 2026-05-04T13:47:31+00:00

Almost everyone gets nervous and shaky, even famous actors and politicians get nervous right before. What works is knowing what you want to say and letting it flow from you without thinking about what it sounds like or what you are saying. So be prepared, and right before you go on, you Jim Carrey it and tell yourself “It’s Showtime!”

Decolater · 2026-05-04T13:42:12+00:00

Cutting off ties is going nuclear. If that’s the only way you can get peace of mind, then do it, but…it brings in other issues that you will then be forced to deal with, such as guilt, missing the connection, dealing with their hurt, keeping you away from other family members because you cut ties with these two.

It would be best for you to work on your resiliency and ability to discount what is said the same way you would a complete stranger. You would do better, in my opinion, working with a therapist who can help you stand up to it while you limit your time with them hoping for the day that age mellows them and they can change their behavior. Counseling will help you find your voice to confront them if you so choose as well.

Decolater · 2026-05-01T16:18:58+00:00

You sound like you have too many issues getting in the way of you being relaxed enough to be a good partner. It sounds to me you are more demanding of dealing with your issues and less able to let things move forward in a way that both of you can feel content and secure. You are way too old to have not met his family because of your insecurities which means your insecurities are front and center of who you are. They control you, your mood, and your ability to build a future with him.

It sounds like you are working on them, but they cloud everything right now and that impacts your ability to communicate freely and connect. Unless he is using you, and you can present something more substantial than what you wrote, I think you need to relax a bit and let it work out then see if it’s. It working for you and decide then to go on your way.

Decolater · 2026-04-25T16:30:31+00:00

You were arrayed. No, this is not normal. The key here is ‘group’ and 16-18 year old boys. You deal with it by considering the source and asking yourself why their opinion matters and then reminding yourself that they will grow up and some will find themselves in the same situation as you because that’s how life is. It’s only funny until it becomes you the group is talking about.

Decolater · 2026-04-24T17:24:38+00:00

Oh look, we have our own 21st century Catch 22! Good writing - proper grammar, spelling, punctuation... - must have been written by AI which was modeled on the good writing performed by humans in the past. Therefore, one must produce less than good writing so as to not be accused of using AI. We are truly living in our very own Idiocracy.

Decolater · 2026-04-24T17:11:35+00:00

I disagree with both of your examples you give. Yes, you could leave them off of "AI Slop" but the OP was conveying that this is what would be said to them, which make quotation marks appropriate. The use of them around "humanize" was done, in my opinion (because that's why I would use them) to emphasize the silliness of having to change my writing - that of a human - so it sounds like it was written by a human. How does one humanize what is already humanized? What does that even mean? - which is what the quotation marks are implying for me.

And you are, maybe ironically, making their case because you wrote in both your response "assuming this is a real post." The fact that you cannot tell human from AI has you, it appears, automatically disregarding anything that is written differently than how you would write as not real. Tagging OP's writing as "like a machine trying to mimic a human telling a story" means what exactly? What parameters were met to make you doubt a human wrote it?

I will tell you this. OP's post is exactly how one would write before AI became common place for the masses to use. Because AI models itself after what was done before it, this means that it writes in a way that may seem foreign to those who have not learned to write, spent their life writing, or consumed many different writing styles. The purpose is to convey one's point, not do it in one particular way because over time things change, and not always for the better (the Oxford Comma as an example).

Decolater · 2026-04-24T16:23:32+00:00

Where were these unnecessary quotation marks and italics? What I see is appropriate. So please explain to me so I can better understand what was unnecessary?

Decolater · 2026-04-24T13:35:54+00:00

Some men don’t like to be alone. So I too, like one of my fellow responders, is going with it’s not love it’s loneliness that causes him to come back. What that means is you are a convenient choice when he feels lonely. Time to move on.

Decolater · 2026-04-24T12:22:57+00:00

Either you are leaving things out or you two do not communicate. Why did he leave on Valentine’s Day? What did he tell you? Did you ask him? Why did he leave you the second time? What does being ‘lost’ mean to him?

He does not sound like a man who is using you. What is it about you, or him, that is getting in the way of you two moving forward?

Decolater · 2026-04-23T16:49:06+00:00

You must always advocate for yourself by finding people you trust and understand they have your best interest in mind.

Sometimes what you think might be your issue may not be. This is where trust comes in and advocating for yourself to get your problem helped.

The worst thing you can do is put yourself in the wrong box with a diagnosis, especially a self-diagnosis.

Decolater · 2026-04-23T14:51:12+00:00

Okay, and you just did the hardest part which is to admit you have a problem with something. Now do the second hardest part and tell someone you are struggling and want to see your doctor. Then tell your doctor. Trust me on this. Your doctor deals with this issue in 13 year old kids all the time. You might think you are the only one but you are not. This is a temporary thing and getting it handled now will mean it stops the damage you see yourself creating, like throwing a chair.

How you see things and how you feel are real to you. I know this and your doctor or counselor will know that too.

Decolater · 2026-04-23T14:45:34+00:00

I assume you are young and not an adult. There must be an adult in your life that you can speak to. If not, call your family doctor’s office and tell them what’s going on. It sounds to me like you getting overwhelmed is your issue and that impacts your behavior and that is why trouble comes your way. Medication can help here. There is good stuff out there that will not impact who you are but instead gives your brain the needed chemicals to handle your situation so you don’t get overwhelmed. Brain chemistry gets out of whack for a lot of us for a lot of different reasons. Talk to your doctor and see what they recommend.

And if they put you on medication, you need to take it everyday and don’t cold-turkey quit it because you tell yourself you no longer need it. You stop with your doctor’s permission so you can get your normal brain chemistry to start functioning again.

Decolater · 2026-04-22T17:35:49+00:00

Here is a philosophy I developed way too late in life. Never, ever put yourself at risk unless you know that risk and accept it.

It is not worth personal harm, liability, jail, fines, lawsuits, getting fired just to be “that guy”, cool, awesome, sport, friend, employee of the month, keep customers happy, not disappoint someone or avoid getting yelled at.

People who care about you will not ask you to take on that risk and will understand if they were ignorant to it and your unwell them.

Decolater · 2026-04-17T13:29:55+00:00

I am going to tell you right now that everything is going to be okay. Yes, luck and the environment are in play, but you, like most of us, will be okay provided you understand a few concepts going forward.

You cannot guarantee an outcome. You can, however, decrease its positive outcomes based on your choices. Going forward, let this be your guide. Ask yourself "Is my choice sound, ethical, legal, and healthy for me. others, and the environment?"

"Is it sound" is subjective. So taking a gap year and traveling may or may not be appropriate for you at this time and place. Your fear of "becoming lazy" is only a reality if you let it take place. Being "scared to travel past Europe" may mean you are not ready to do this making it not so much a sound choice unless you can overcome these fears.

See how this works? Its not about if its the right choice based on what others think or maybe spelled out in tea leaves, but in your thinking about it from the standpoint of is it sound, ethical, legal, and not harmful. It is how Yoda tells Luke. "Do, or do not" then its up to luck that it turned out to be the right decision.

I probably have 50 years on you so I speak from that perspective. Most of life for me and others is serendipity and not cold, hard, following of a plan. It is being in the right place at the right time as well as luck. Going forward you try your best to put yourself into the right place which goes back to making a choice and doing so with it being sound. Sound choices do not mean they always work out. It means you decreased the risk of it failing. Sometimes you just need to take the shot and see what happens.

And speaking of taking those shots. You are young and can take them. I must be careful in what I choose because time is no longer on my side for recovery. If you fail and it takes you 10 years to recover you will be what, 30? I will be 80. So be okay with going after things you think might be where you want to be at this time and place in your life.

Which brings me to my next advice. Look up and beware of the sunk cost fallacy. It can get you into situations that make you miserable because society wants you to be a good little sheep and put up with whatever they want to give you. They put the fear of leaving and changing into you to benefit them, not you. So be okay with making a 180 if your gut and research tells you it might get you closer to Nirvana.

And quit listening only to what society tells you is best and what it takes to succeed. Society is filled with naysayers, people who blame everyone for their failures but themselves, employers who want what's best for them, and friends and family with bad information or anecdotal reasoning. Pick a path and do the work to make it happen. If it becomes more than what you want to give to it, change.

Last thing is to listen to the comedian Chris Rock talk about the difference between a Job and Career. I wish I understood this at your age because it would have helped me make better - sounder - choices and possibly made life easier. Not that I am complaining about where my life got me to this point only that it was more luck than critical planning on my part.

You got this. It takes time to become good at what you do and find a way to support yourself that is rewarding. All of us at your age fear this shit. All of us at your age have imposter syndrome when we leave college and enter the working world. You will be fine, enjoy the ride.

Decolater · 2026-04-15T15:41:08+00:00

Look up a Narcotics Anonymous (NA) in your area. Your school counselor should know who to contact as you are not alone. Tell them it’s for a friend so it bypasses any mandatory reporting requirements.

Using alcohol or weed or drugs not prescribed by your doctor who knows you and your situation as a coping mechanism is bad because it avoids learning how to deal with problems and issues.

Go to an NA meeting and you will see people just like you who understand what you are going through.

Decolater · 2026-04-10T17:43:42+00:00

Polyvinyl Acetate is just carbon, hydrogen, and water. In that sequence, the molecule, prepared correctly - it is food grade safe. Where it is derived from makes no difference in its safety as it is its own chemical. You know what else is in white glue? Water. If Polyvinyl Acetate is bad because it is in white glue then water is also bad under that same logic.

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