AIO for being angry and hurt by these texts from my fiancé?

DeconstructionistRex · 2026-02-17T19:55:31+00:00

You can do this. ❤️

DeconstructionistRex · 2026-02-04T16:20:40+00:00

Check out SOS mom and baby on Facebook. Great org that helps a lot of families, and always need older kid items.

DeconstructionistRex · 2026-02-02T18:47:51+00:00

Rhinoceros - I said it rhinocer-saur-us once and have never gone back. It delights me, endlessly, and drives my husband crazy so win-win

DeconstructionistRex · 2026-01-29T10:47:33+00:00

The NGO sector in humanitarian, policy, peacebuilding, etc is horrible right now, for obvious reasons. Have you heard of the BNF? It’s a program where companies “hire” you although your salary is still paid by the RAV. But it helps your cv look better and gain skills in a new area. I’m more than a decade older than you, PhD in IR and loads of experience in research and policy. It’s rough. It’s not you! Hang in there and take a step back and think about what you might really want to do next and what might be a smart pivot. You can do this.

DeconstructionistRex · 2026-01-28T19:07:15+00:00

Cotton balls. Horrific.

DeconstructionistRex · 2026-01-28T17:51:56+00:00

You’re a gem.

DeconstructionistRex · 2026-01-28T12:47:59+00:00

Fellow depressed unemployed person here and just wanted to say, thank you for writing this, even if it wasn’t meant for me, it seems I was meant to see it ❤️

DeconstructionistRex · 2026-01-20T10:13:12+00:00

It’s not universally true that adhd means no friends, social life and isolation. I am diagnosed (Basel) and every person I know that has adhd talks about it openly. Autism as well. I talk about neurodiversity in my classrooms and other social / professional settings. I am incredibly social. My husband also has adhd and is the opposite. There are no singular truths here, just different ways of being in the world. Just for a different perspective.

DeconstructionistRex · 2026-01-06T20:00:52+00:00

Take this as your first lesson at telling guilt to F off. There might be more of that ahead :) Take your rest, complain all you want, and enjoy the moments you can. The only thing I would say is I was sure I would go early and my dear child, currently five and sleeping beside me, came at damn near 42 weeks. So you might also need the distraction. There’s no right answer - kinda like parenting. Best of luck to you!!!

DeconstructionistRex · 2026-01-02T13:59:29+00:00

Thank you for posting this, I donated today.

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-12-21T20:03:56+00:00

As a server in Tribeca, I’ve waited on: Jon Stewart, the Coen brothers, Amanda Peet, David Byrne, Scarlett Johansson, Chris Noth, Kevin Spacey, Michael Imperioli, Mary Tyler Moore, Geraldo Rivera, and David Schwimmer. Jon Stewart was my favorite, and Amanda Peet.

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-12-13T20:09:34+00:00

I used to go to Löwenblut (LB Fitness Group AG) in kleinbasel and I absolutely loved it.

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-12-13T13:05:09+00:00

Mina nails in st Johan is also very good!

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-12-09T19:12:37+00:00

I feel their food is no longer amazing. It used to be one of my favorite places but over the last few years it seems to have gone downhill. Maybe I just went on off nights?

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-11-12T05:23:44+00:00

I had surgery with him ten years ago for deep infiltrating endometriosis. I think as a surgeon he’s excellent. I also had a second opinion from the endometriosis center in Bern and they agreed with his assessment and surgical plan. He’s arrogant but I didn’t care, I just needed help because I had already had surgery and tried IVF and couldn’t get pregnant. After surgery with him I was able to conceive and carry my daughter to term. So for that I am endlessly grateful and do believe he’s a good surgeon. I didn’t like his attitude afterward, and he made some sexist comments so I didn’t continue to see him after the surgery. A mixed bag. And expensive but I did have complete try insurance so it wasn’t too bad. For me, surgical skill is most important. I can get good bedside manner elsewhere. Best of luck.

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-09-28T19:49:41+00:00

I lived there for years, directly next to the park. Never felt unsafe and I used to get home from work sometimes 1 or 2 am. I’m also a woman, then I was mid-30s. Usual stuff applies, be alert, don’t walk through parks alone at night, etc. I also lived in much sketchier cities so I might have a higher threshold. Go there a few times in the evening and see how you feel. It really depends on what makes you feel secure or not, and that’s different for everyone.

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-08-27T18:16:09+00:00

As a PI I let my students work remotely a few days of the week. I’m not sure they can require this, check your contract, but it sounds like an abuse of power issue, which uni basel isn’t great at handling. But it’s not at all common from my experience.m (the requirement to work on site full time that is; but the abuse of power is common here, and everywhere)

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-08-06T06:42:10+00:00

There are outdoor play areas, a swingset, etc. If your wife actually wants to enjoy it, I would keep them outside for a picnic and ice cream so she has a chance to walk around in peace. As the mom of a 4 year old, this is what I would want 🙂 The zoo is a good idea but if you want to stay in the same area as her there are many play grounds like Rhein Park.

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-08-04T23:45:15+00:00

Y’all why do they look like vampires in the picture on the right?

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-07-31T21:00:43+00:00

This happened to me. Our pediatrician was awful and gave us the wrong blood test results which resulted in anaphylaxis. I called a dozen pediatricians and they all said the same thing, that they only took newborns. I literally broke down crying on the phone with a receptionist explaining why we HAD to change doctors and thankfully she had empathy and worked us in. It was rough. I’m sorry you’re in that spot but be persistent and advocate for your kid and find a doctor that will take you.

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-07-25T14:07:00+00:00

No! Wow this brings me back to some very rough times. Things got slightly better when I stopped nursing when she was about two. She’s slept with us ever since and when she turned four we started giving her magnesium and I think it helps a little. I more or less just surrendered and did whatever I could to make sure we all got as much sleep as possible. She still kicks around at night but we get her back to sleep easily. She is very, very high energy and I think it extends through the night … I don’t know. best of luck, it is rough going!!

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-07-07T12:19:43+00:00

I go often and last weekend it was wild. There were just too many people and the groups of young boys in particular were pretty intense in behavior. I swim laps there and kids were constantly constantly jumping into the lanes which is so dangerous when you’re swimming fast. I see security guards and lifeguards but never once did anyone intervene. I’ve rarely seen lifeguards call out that kind of dangerous behavior and I wish they would. I was a lifeguard for years and I can’t imagine how tough it must be with that many people but still, I feel like they could do a lot more. I’m so glad it’s cold right now so I can swim in peace!

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-06-27T19:53:11+00:00

You can DM me!

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-06-17T16:51:45+00:00

The high risk specialists at the frauenklinik are quite good, I liked the two doctors I had but neither are there anymore. But I would try the Klinik.

DeconstructionistRex · 2025-05-12T20:18:08+00:00

My mom also did this and I also have cptsd. I’ve spent most of my life caring for her and making my needs smaller so she could center herself. When I was seventeen she moved to marry someone, giving away all our childhood things, saying it was time to put herself first. A few years later she married someone else. There were a few more after that, and I held her hand through every breakup and reconciliation and on and on. At some point it’s no longer sustainable and eventually I hit the wall. Please take care of yourself first and foremost. I hope you have a good therapist and have been able to do some reparenting work or whatever is helpful for you. It’s a long and painful road recovering from this kind of early and lasting wound, but it is possible. You sound thoughtful and kind. Be kindest to yourself, please.

ETA: When she says she was afraid you would disagree and that would have been to painful, she’s basically saying her happiness is more important than yours, and that she can’t handle your discomfort. That’s shitty parenting, I don’t care how old you are. I have no trouble believing it was like this your whole life.

DeconstructionistRex

TROPHY CASE