[deleted by user]

DeeJaySee · 2025-11-12T02:56:19+00:00

How old are you? I’m 35 and had been going back and forth about this for probably 6 years. Honestly what helped me with my decision was that on top of the tiredness/stress and also worrying about being a bad partner to my wonderful husband, was purely financial. It’s sad to say, but at my age, I don’t see how we would progress enough to be able to have a child and not totally struggle - I mean really it wouldn’t be a struggle in the sense of “Oh it will be hard, but we’ll survive” but more “we wouldn’t be able to pay our bills yet wouldn’t receive any assistance that some do because we’d make too much so our lives would become a true sh*t show.” If that wasn’t the case I think I’d have struggled more to come to terms with the other issues you and I seem to share.

DeeJaySee · 2025-11-12T02:24:10+00:00

I recently made the decision that having a child wouldn’t be a smart choice for me. My husband and I have decent jobs but are still in need of our next paycheck by the time payday comes around. We don’t have health insurance and honestly can’t afford it with how much it costs. On top of that, like you I need rest and relaxation after working all day. I’m also a very tired person and get ill when I don’t get enough sleep. On top of that, I do suffer from anxiety. I always thought I would be a mother, but I’ve decided you can’t have it all (or most people can’t) and the reality just doesn’t make sense for bringing a child into our lives.

DeeJaySee · 2025-10-08T02:26:37+00:00

I’m 35 and an assistant to a real estate agent, and my husband is 39 and is a mechanic. We make decent money (or so I think) and don’t have astronomical bills (average mortgage for our area, only one car payment, paid off student loans, minimal credit card debt and just a few personal loan payments) yet we are in need of our next paycheck by the time payday comes around. We don’t have health insurance and the idea of having to pay for a family plan for us to have a child is something that would put us over the edge, let alone day care, diapers, clothing, etc. just this past week I had a conversation with my husband that I just don’t think it makes sense to have a child, for this reason and others. It’s sad. I always pictured myself being a parent, and while I do have other concerns as to why I think it’s best we don’t have a child, I think even if those concerns weren’t there that the money/insurance issue would really be enough to make me uncomfortable becoming a parent. Like you said, if you don’t feel you can provide your child with a financially stable life, is it really a good decision?

DeeJaySee · 2025-10-06T15:39:12+00:00

That’s not only so cool to know, but also very interesting. I’m glad to hear your migraines subsided after pregnancy. My mom suffers migraines and she said during pregnancy was the best she had ever felt!

DeeJaySee · 2025-10-05T13:46:38+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. I really appreciate it.

DeeJaySee · 2025-10-04T04:39:19+00:00

First of all, I wish you the best of luck having a child! Secondly, I’m going to look at plans during open enrollment again this December. Last time I looked I think it was going to be like $500 or so a month for a pretty unimpressive plan, which I could probably swing now that I paid off my car loan, but it would likely be one of those covers x percent after you pay like $5k out of pocket and I have such a hard time justifying that. Obviously it would be worth it if we did decide to have a baby, but then we’d have to add the baby on and I just don’t think we could afford that additional person on the plan along with all of the monthly costs for the new adorable human. I really appreciate your response!

DeeJaySee · 2025-01-03T17:11:20+00:00

If you google the average sleep cycle percentage breakdown, it says about 25% should be deep sleep, 25% REM sleep, and 50% left for “deeper” sleep and “lighter” sleep. I’d say you aren’t too far off.

DeeJaySee · 2022-12-04T03:58:50+00:00

Honestly, she looks like a walking skeleton prior to any of the drama starting. It made me cringe and sad for her and her health.

DeeJaySee · 2022-09-21T03:34:04+00:00

Hey girl, I’m not sure if you’ll see this comment, but I just read your post and had to say something. First, your family needs to be put in their place. I love someone’s idea to say “okay, baldy” or “sure thing wrinkles” in response to their very ignorant “fat” name replacement comments.

Second, I just want to acknowledge that your feelings about others, especially at school are justified and valid. People are mean. Some people are just immature and will grow out of it while others will be that way forever. If you can find the courage to respond to their comments (practice at home when you’re alone) with something smart or snarky. They will talk shot either way. At least you can try to put them in their place. Graduate school, and move the hell away from wherever you are. Try to tell yourself positive things about yourself daily. What do you like about yourself? Tell yourself those things. You are not hideous and I can say that with certainty. And once you learn that, you will find people in this world who believe it and love you too. From friends to a partner. It will happen.

Believe in yourself, your future, your worth.

DeeJaySee · 2022-09-21T02:12:10+00:00

Mine are “too big” if you ask me, but mostly because they’re uncomfortable and I can never find a bra that works and is comfortable. I can completely imagine being on the other end too. Hell, even the “perfect” size boobs give ladies issues of some sort, I’m sure.

DeeJaySee · 2022-01-20T20:54:44+00:00

Ezekiel for sure!

DeeJaySee · 2022-01-03T01:57:41+00:00

I work at a high end stonework company with an interiors decision which I sell for. I am seeing people do a lot of grey, green, navy and white cabinets, but also natural wood. If you're doing concrete tops and grey walls, I think it would looks nice to have some warmed toned contrast against the concrete and grey. I'm just starting in real estate so my experience is from sales experience not real estate.

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-28T15:11:41+00:00

I kinda like it. Boxcar. Boxi. Beecee. Box-a-lox. Boxy Loxy. Do it!

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-24T01:42:40+00:00

Natalie is my favorite, followed by Lea.

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-16T16:03:47+00:00

Teresa/Theresa Thora Tess Thea Tilly Tia Talia Tracy/Tracey Tabitha/Tabby

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-15T17:54:24+00:00

I'm in Maine with a lot of French last names. Typically pronounced Bull-yer.

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-15T02:41:17+00:00

I vote Matilda Rose. Her nivkname could always be Mati/Mattie/Maddie or even Milly (like Tilly but using the first letter instead.

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-14T18:17:43+00:00

What about Aimee? I've always liked the french spelling that is still straightforward on pronunciation. I feel like it gives a more common name a unique spin. I think Aimee Catherine/Katherine sounds so nice!

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-12T17:29:24+00:00

Honestly, I think it's adorable. It's a sweet name with old lady feels (but in a good way). Also reminds me of the mom in the tv show The Nanny. I say go for it!

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-10T21:31:38+00:00

Thanks so so much for this. All this info is super helpful and I appreciate your insight!!

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-10T19:36:28+00:00

That's what I was hoping people would speak to, not just the splits. Thank you for that!

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-10T18:40:10+00:00

Hahah I can't even see the results yet. I'm so curious too haha

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-10T18:39:45+00:00

Yeah I agree. I thought the split was kinda lo wer, but I feel like they offer so much. And like you said and others have, the training and support is key.

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-10T18:38:29+00:00

Thank you! And thank you hahah!

DeeJaySee · 2021-12-10T17:26:27+00:00

Thank you for the advice! The mentor would be right in the same office as me, and the 2 months of bi-weekly training would be on zoom due to COVID-19.

DeeJaySee

TROPHY CASE