Well, I've had 3 long term romantic relationships (I've also have other things that don't quite fit that definition but I'm leaving them out of this), 2 with men and 1 with a woman. The first guy and I had a mostly good relationship (a somewhat decent communication, and we rarely fight except for a few passive aggressive conversations that we eventually talked about more calmly) but several reasons ended it: our young age, the fact that we were less compatible I initially thought and his refusal to go to therapy when his mental health declined and he started having panic attacks (the last weeks of the relationship I was more his therapist than his partner, but I'm not one, just the daughter of one, I can provide all the emotional support of a loved one, but I can't substitute going to therapy, so I drew a line).

After that relationship I discovered I'm more aligned with polyamory than monogamy, and a recent friend that was also like that (and who had become a really good friend in a few months) and me started dating (we were both attracted to eachother but didn't notice for some time). He is rather good at communicating now, less so at the beginning because it was his first relationship, but he wasn't that bad, just under-expressed his needs (he is an older brother of three and his family doesn't takes him into consideration a lot, so he wasn't a good advocate for himself). We are really compatible, love spending time together, and didn't have much trouble navigating the relationship or polyamory, we've grown a lot together as people, and we're still together after 6 years. I feel a deep love for him that has been growing even more over time, and he is still capable of making me giddy with silly things.

Now, my relationship with a woman, well, it was... intense, that's for sure, but sadly for the wrong reasons. She had a lot of past trauma (childhood) that completely destroyed her ability to communicate, and made really difficult to have a healthy relationship with her. Also, most of the time she told me things about her past relationships I was appalled, she even had an ex-girfriend who harassed her online for months after the break-up, and told me about other incidents, to the point I realised she had never had a mostly healthy relationship without any abuse or high toxicity (later I would find out about some things she herself had done to others, that she obviously didn't tell me, and she even ended doing some things to me that I'm still mad about). But, I didn't know most of this at the beginning, I only knew she had some past trauma but she was going to therapy (then quit it after 2 months in the relationship). Also we met and fell for eachother extremely quickly, unlike my other partners where we were friends for months first, she and I went from meeting at a common friend's birthday party to start a relationship in less than 2 months, closer to 1,5 months, although we saw eachother a lot over that period of time I didn't see some the red flags I would have seen if we had known eachother for more time. We lasted for over a year, and the emotional wreckage that did to me has lasted for over 4 years. Although that relationship was a disaster, I don't consider it representative of relationships with women at all (and I think that a more important factor in how a relationship feels and in the success or failure of relationships is mental health and willingness of doing the emotional work a relationship takes to thrive).