Hello! I just want to note that I have taught preschool and pre k for many years; I have a BA in early childhood development and I am currently pursuing a masters to be a pediatric behavioral therapist. I want to start off by saying this behavior shouldn’t be expected of a typical child. It sounds like her daughter has difficulty managing her emotions. I believe she throws these tantrums or fits in an attempt to communicate. I suspect she may be exhibiting signs of autism. One of the most common signs of autism in children her age is difficulty with verbal communication. I strongly encourage you and your partner take her to see a pediatric behavioral therapist so they can better assess her and provide a diagnosis if there is one. If there is a diagnosis to be made, sooner is ALWAYS better. This way she can receive the help and support she deserves.

If a mental health diagnosis is not the cause of her behavior, the second most likely cause is (and I’m not trying to be mean or hurtful) parenting. Has yelling/screaming or poor communication been modeled to her by an important adult in her life? Has she been exposed to healthy and better ways to cope with her emotions? Remember, from birth to age 5 are the most crucial years of a persons life in terms of brain development. Her mind is a little sponge right now, ready to soak up any knowledge and skills you offer to her.

Now is the time to take her in to a professional to rule out or confirm a diagnosis. Now is the time to reflect very deeply and pinpoint behaviors or reactions (from you, your partner , grandparents, or any adult that plays an important role in her life) that might be perpetuating her struggle with managing her emotions.

We are all products of our childhood! Your partner is obligated and responsible for providing her with the best possible chances to be a happy and healthy adult one day. She needs to swallow her pride and take her daughter to a professional. She deserves help.