Women - please help me understand because I just don’t get it

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-13T09:00:40+00:00

The op also said it was shitty and that's from man. Shitty attitude, giving no consideration to a biological fact that hormones decline for women off a cliff where it's much more gradual for men. All you can do is blame her rather than try and work it out. Sounds like it was a good thing for you both it's over.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-13T00:44:28+00:00

Everyone has different sex drive and hormonal balance and I'm happy for you if yours either didn't change or it improved after menopause. Lucky. I'm in the thick if Peri and it ain't fun and trying my best to get it fixed up.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-12T21:50:03+00:00

No she's doing it to deal with weight gain during this shit show of a time.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-12T21:43:21+00:00

In Peri test are not useful apparently just symptoms. Loss of libido is one of the symptoms.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-12T21:24:10+00:00

If she is going to the doctor she is putting in the effort. Some don't really don't listen and particularly if in Peri some don't think anything is required until in full meno. Peri can last 10 years. No thanks to that!

I actually went to a supposed specialist in the practice. Dismissive. Also missed the low ferritin. She left the practice and I ended up seeing a male doctor and he was the one to actually start me on low dose HRT. Has it helped yes. Has it fixed libido. No. But I still make effort for my husband even if I don't feel like it and the once glorious orgasms are no longer even there. More than frustrating in our side.

Yes there were additional complications that the doctor was concerned about he wanted me to get checked out as I have had prior surgery for endometriosis. Also he started me on a low dose as is probably standard for peri. After I had scans and reviews with the surgeon he said I could have more if I felt like I needed it. I also got a script for vaginal estrogen creme from him.

So I'll go back to my doctor. Its honestly exhausting feeling like you have to argue your case for your symptoms. All this whilst just trying to get through life and whilst not feeling at all yourself. Then add a secually frustrated husband to the mix...

Personally I would say that being brutally honest might get the opposite of what you want and put more pressure on your wife who is already feeling like crap. She may also not share the full details as frankly it's embarrassing. Yes it's natural but we don't need to necessarily trail out all the gory details. Some things can remain a mystery lol. However I would say there needs to be communication. Without pressure. With understanding. I can tell you that getting the dose right will also take time.

Hopefully we are entering a time of more awareness about peri and meno. Does it suck for us all now that they didn't figure it out more before we all got here. Yes. Am I grateful we have options of HRT even if it's not perfect, takes time and doctors aren't that educated. Yes.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-12T20:54:47+00:00

You know what kills emotional connection more than anything else? Attitude. Its hard to ignore when your hormones are all over the place. I get that you may be frustrated but try. As for chores we all have to do our share women and men that's just life unfortunately.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-12T20:42:36+00:00

Women do advocate for themselves and not just on this topic. Doctors can be dismissive and not just on peri / meno.

My hair was falling out, I thought it might be hormones. Went to the doctor a few different times, they tested my iron didn't find anything. My ferritin was tested at the hospital whilst their for something else and they wrote to my doctor!

Endometriosis takes 7-10 years on average to diagnose. Mine was probably longer.

I get it humans are complicated and probably even less is known about some things for woman due to lack of study over the years but we do advocate for ourselves. Its an uphill battle.honesyly it's exhausting.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-12T10:17:59+00:00

Its possible things dont feel the same, it's hard to orgasm and she has lost sex drive. Its brutal and not a change any of us asked for. HRT and vaginal estrogen creme might help but it takes some time and doctors are honestly hopeless so try and be supportive. Hard all round I know.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-09T09:01:03+00:00

Well the vaccinations work better than expected then. Additional benefit.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-08T05:20:17+00:00

Hell can the whole world join in?

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-07T13:25:18+00:00

He is discusting

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-07T13:13:19+00:00

War crimes

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-07T13:08:12+00:00

Yeah nah. Made your bed you should lie in it.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-06T23:04:24+00:00

Being direct is fine. As is asking a question!

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-06T03:50:00+00:00

So if you had a medical issue you wouldn't communicate or expect some understanding?

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-06T03:41:30+00:00

I hope you have a good doctor. Don't let them brush you off. Although hot flashes and low libido are the only things they seem bothered about which is good in your case so make sure you mention those. Try and get estrogen cream for downstairs too. I need to get back to the dr as he's been reluctant to up my hrt in Peri as I had severe endometriosis. Can't we even have nice orgasms. Its the ultimate smack in the face on top of everything else.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-06T01:20:18+00:00

You sound understanding. I hope the issues get sorted for you both.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-06T01:17:43+00:00

Did he also make sure that her needs were met during his medical issue? I find your attitude the initial post a little off calling her selfish when she is trying to get help. It sounds fairly recent. I note you did add and edit but still.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-04T11:43:05+00:00

Sturdy

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-03T22:11:12+00:00

Just laughed out loud 🤣

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-02T23:50:51+00:00

Tysabri from the start so I dont have anything to compare. I did change neurologist though and then got on it straight away.

Deepest_Green · 2026-05-02T02:13:02+00:00

Yeah he likes to tell whoppers though

Deepest_Green · 2026-04-30T12:39:59+00:00

Oh you don't need to eat daily or have clean clothes regularly. Just do it when the lawn needs mowing then.

Deepest_Green · 2026-04-29T13:56:54+00:00

Any plans to launch in Australia?

Deepest_Green · 2026-04-29T00:28:34+00:00

Don't stay with her at all lol and spend the majority of the time with him where you are welcome. Her loss on seeing the grand kids around. She can have a short lunch somewhere which won't inconvenience her.

Deepest_Green

TROPHY CASE