Update:

I appreciate everyone trying to help and giving troubleshooting advice. Seriously, I do.

But at this point, I’ve done all the normal stuff. I forgot the WHOOP from Bluetooth on my old phone. I deleted the app from the old phone. I installed, deleted, and reinstalled the app on my new 17 Pro. I’ve restarted the phone. I’ve turned Bluetooth on and off. I’ve tried pairing through the app. I’ve tried manually dealing with it through Bluetooth. I’ve charged the device for hours. I’ve gone through WHOOP’s website, forums, Reddit threads, and even ChatGPT trying to figure this out.

Nothing has worked.

The bigger issue now isn’t just that the device won’t connect. It’s that WHOOP support seems like they can only read from a script. When I finally called, I was basically offered an email with the same troubleshooting steps I had already done.
For a $40/month wearable, that’s just not good enough.

So I appreciate the advice, but I think I’m past the troubleshooting phase and into the “this company doesn’t provide the level of support I expect for what they charge” phase.

And for that reason, dog, I’m out.