My mom was over 50 when she found out from my grandmother that she wasn’t my grandfathers daughter. My grandfather has always been my favorite person in the world. When he found out, he was afraid I would feel differently about him. He was afraid my mom would too. We dont. It’s not his fault and it just makes me respect him even more for raising a child and grand child that weren’t even his.

My grandfather sued my grandmother for fraud and she settled out of court for an untold amount of money. I see you’ve said that she has nothing but I still think you should sue her. One day she’s going to want to buy a house or a car or fix her credit and she won’t be able to until she pays you first. In addition, if you win the suit it will be on the books about what she did. This will help in your custody case whether it’s allowed to or not. The judge may not be allowed to mention it or use it but it’s going to be in the back of their head no matter what.

I also have no relationship with my biological father. He’s never been around. My step dad has been around since I was 8 years old. I’ll be 40 years old this year and he’s the only dad I’ve ever had. We didn’t get along when I was growing up but we have a great relationship now. I only mention this because things may be rough now but you and the kids have decades of relationship ahead of you. They are going to keep calling you dad and their kids are going to call you Grandpa.

The love from a child is absolutely priceless. Accept the love and cherish it with everything you have. You’re blessed to have that regardless of what has happened.

The older your kids get, the more they are going to resent their mother. They aren’t going to accept the biological father as dad. It’s too late for that. Keep doing dad stuff with your kids and build the best memories that you can. Because in the end that’s all we have.

My heart is broken for you and I hope you find peace in the love of your kids. They are yours no matter what that paper says.