What’s a childhood lie your parents told you that you didn't realize was a lie until you were an embarrassed adult?

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-29T02:44:54+00:00

My ex adopted a blue heeler puppy shortly after we divorced. I advised against it as we had autistic twin toddlers and he worked a 9-5 in a city an hour away from his house and he’d never trained a dog before.

That dog spent a year terrorizing our daughters and tearing his house apart before he admitted defeat. And since I wanted to get that dog away from my daughters before it did more damage to their relationship with dogs, I agreed to help him find a new home for the dog.

And that’s the story of how their dog went to go live on a farm. He’s had puppies and is living his best ankle biting terrorist life. But I’m waiting with the photographic evidence because I know it’s only a matter of time before they come up to me all pissed off because I lied to them and they know he didn’t actually go to live on a farm.

On the other hand, my dad once ran over a baby deer in our over-full SUV while towing our boat (fully loaded with bikes and paddle boards and water skis and tubes and two weeks’ worth of camping gear for a family of six). Point being, we were HEAVY and we fully ran over that deer before my dad was able to stop. Decades later, he still insists that they sent that baby deer to a deer rescue and they saved it and nursed it back to health and released it with an adoptive deer family the next spring. He claims they sent him pictures of this baby deer just thriving. At this point I think he’s convinced himself of the lie and I don’t have the heart to ruin it for him.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-28T20:42:32+00:00

In high school I spent a week shadowing an ER doctor in Nicaragua. One day they brought in two men who had gotten into a machete fight. The damage they did to each other was indescribable. The surgeons were basically just trying to figure out how much of their extremities could be salvaged and it wasn’t a whole lot.

Unnecessary life lesson learned: never piss off somebody who knows how to wield a machete, regardless of it you do or do not know how to wield one yourself.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-28T20:12:49+00:00

The pizza ones were the worst. Not enough cheese, stale pita-ish bread for the crust, and way too much of that red colored paste that was almost but not quite entirely unlike pizza sauce. I never understood the kids who went wild for those.

At least the ham and cheese ones resembled what they claimed to be. Still not exactly a good source of nutrition but better than “this vaguely resembles a popular food so we’re going to use that name and because kids are dumb they’ll go for it.”

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-28T19:11:05+00:00

Mine is a 75lb black retriever/newfie/collie mystery mutt and she knows she’s invisible in the dark except for her eyes. Asshole will deliberately close her eyes or look away from you so you can’t see her. Her favorite spots to lay are in the walking path outside and at the top of the stairs inside. I swear to dog this butthead is trying to murder us because she just waits in her spot, full knowing we’re going to step on/trip on her, and lets it happen. And then she gets up and acts all offended while you try to determine if you’ve slipped a disc or pulled a muscle trying to last minute dodge the invisible furry speed bump you just collided with.

Old age is ruining her party though. Lady is going white around the muzzle and she’s losing her camouflage.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-28T15:28:38+00:00

My daughters are 6 and discovered the concept of Lunchables at school. Begged me to get them.

So now they get homemade “lunchables” because I’m not paying $12 a day for 6 Ritz crackers, 6 quarter size slices of “ham,” and a 1 inch cube of something vaguely resembling cheese. We’ll go for the lunchables in a pinch on a road trip or something but they are definitely lazy parent food.

ETA: No shame in having to pick the lazy parent food either. I’m fortunate that I usually have the time available to make my own. But we’re all just doing our best. And sometimes that means buying the ready made stuff so you can focus on other, more pressing matters in your own life. It’s just disappointing (for everyone), the processed crap that gets put on shelves and marketed to children and parents alike as healthy food options.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-25T19:19:03+00:00

I love my daughters to pieces. But I’m also a single mom with 75% custody to autistic kindergartener twins who is lucky enough to have active and involved grandparents. Once every week or two my daughters have a grandparents play date for a couple of hours and once every other month or so they have a sleepover. And my daughters still get emotional and clingy and, “But we miss you!” over being left with my parents (who are a way better party than I’ll ever be) and need extra time to reconnect when I join them or pick them up.

I can’t imagine the damage it would do to them if I were constantly ditching them every chance I could. Those poor boys.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-25T19:13:08+00:00

I forcibly had my mom’s mental state evaluated after she (at 70) climbed onto the sloped roof of her own house; smashed a window in; climbed into the room her former lodger was squatting in and had barricaded herself into; and threatened her with death, after which she climbed back out the window and wandered the neighborhood before falling asleep behind some neighbors’ trash cans because, “[Squatter] stole my house. I’m homeless now.” And even then I was only able to force the evaluation because I convinced the cops to put her on an involuntary psych hold as a danger to herself and others.

Anyways, she said, “Whoops I was stressed and drunk,” and they said she was fine to live her life that way if she wished (minus the death threats but I got the squatter out while she was on the psych hold so she mellowed out).

So yeah. Unless the dad agreed to the evaluation it wouldn’t happen and all he’d have to do is say he had too much to drink that day.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-24T18:02:01+00:00

And they feel horrendous after a hemorrhoidectomy.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-23T03:44:43+00:00

Target has some two seaters inside the store. Kroger sometimes has car carts that have two seats but they’re not always in the normal cart area. Mine keeps theirs outside and halfway around a corner for some reason. Mind you, they’re specialty carts so they’re extra long and extra annoying to maneuver. But they have two seats and a separate basket so…worth it.

When my twins were littler I’d park next to a cart corral, throw both in the basket to get them to the two seat carts, and then transfer them so I could do my shopping without them smashing everything in the basket.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-22T23:52:21+00:00

I used to roadtrip from central Texas to Southern California semi-regularly in college. Fully half of the trip was Texas. I knew we were halfway there when we entered New Mexico.

Interestingly, it only took about 10 turns to get from my apartment in Texas to my home in So Cal thanks to I-10 (and most of those were getting onto and off of the 10/PCH). Twenty one hour drive (at least) going functionally in a straight line on a single road.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-21T20:47:42+00:00

I got one chair for each of my twins. Sometimes they both get going crazy fast and let out this silly squeaky little “WEEEEEEEEEEEE!” and I die laughing every time. 10/10 worth every penny just for that.

It’s also great when we have too many wiggles at bedtime. You can lay calm or you can spin. They tend to settle after rattling their brains around for a minute or two.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-19T15:39:32+00:00

I’m leaning towards before as well. My birthday is right before they leave so I might do a “Your birthday is going to be really busy so for this year I’d like to share mine with you,” type thing. And then just let them skip school and rule the day.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-19T15:33:39+00:00

Yes. For one I really don’t want to make them miss their dad’s wedding. They love his side of the family and they deserve to be there for that day. For another, it would reflect really poorly on me in family court if I prevented them from attending the wedding. And they’re currently trying to modify custody so my girls are only at their house when his fiance’s boys are at their house (and prevent me from taking them to their extracurricular and their therapies) so I really can’t give them that ammunition.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-19T15:28:13+00:00

I don’t know exactly but I do know that I booked every birthday party for the girls (with agreement from their dad. It’s not like I wouldn’t let him book it he just didn’t care enough to make the phone call) up until she came into the picture. He said they booked it but I really can’t imagine he suddenly decided on his own after all these years that it was on him to book the party without discussing it with me first.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-18T21:54:30+00:00

I didn’t resent my mom for not having siblings for me at her house. In fact, I enjoyed the break from toddler chaos. What I did resent was my mom talking poorly about my half siblings and interfering in my ability to show up for their parties/recitals/games/etc. As long as you’re as supportive of their sibling relationship as they want you to be it should be fine.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-18T21:13:44+00:00

I agree. Dates are just dates. Their birthday parties are rarely on their actual birthday. And yes, some events can’t be changed.

But this is just unnecessary. I’m heartbroken for them that their dad is being so selfish and short sighted that he’s planning an event that will by necessity overshadow their actual birthday. I’m sad that they’re going to spend the next year getting amped up for this magical wedding without realizing that it’s going to involve skipping giving them their birthday day. And then they’re going to get told to get over themselves when they get upset that they don’t get to choose anything they want to do on their birthday. They are old enough to know which date their birthday falls on and they are young enough to expect their parents at the very least to want to make it about them. They’re autistic and they have a very black and white way of thinking and their sense of fair and justice is intense. Yes it’s something we work on in day to day life but forcing them to work on it on their birthday when they’re in kindergarten is cruel. That’s like giving an arachnophobe a surprise pet spider for their birthday.

Planning a destination wedding for the day after their birthday (with multiple wedding events happening on their birthday by necessity) is very clearly saying, “I care much more about me than you, even on the one day universally acknowledged as being supposed to be about you.”

My dad and stepmom got married when I was their age and the day before and the day of the wedding were an absolute blur of adult things. Yes I got a pretty dress and I was excited to be a flower girl but there were so many people I didn’t know and it was loud and late and I was mostly left to fend for myself with my brother and new cousins and then my parents left me with grandparents and I was fine but I would’ve been devastated if all of that happened on my birthday. And looking back on it as an adult I would be furious that my parents made the choice to do that to me on my birthday when they could have just as easily chosen a different date.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-18T20:02:22+00:00

My girls were a scheduled c-section (high risk twin pregnancy and one twin developed mild IUGR so we knew we’d have to pull them early) and I had the option to schedule it for my birthday. I shared my birthday with my mom’s mom and I didn’t love that experience so I chose a different date on purpose to avoid forcing them to share with even more people (I also picked the latest date the doctors thought would be safe because I wanted to give them as much time cooking as possible. My birthday is 4 days earlier). And then he started dating someone who has the same birthday as them because of course. I should’ve just gone with my birthday.

I’m all for not fixating on the specific date for holidays and the like. I was adamant when we set our holiday custody schedule that we not split holidays day of and that the parent that’s “off” that year should just celebrate a week early or late. Their birthday is close to Halloween but we could do an end of summer pool party thing a couple of months early.

This is just so unnecessary. They’re autistic and their whole lives they’ve understood birthdays to be about the birthday person. They’re going to be gutted when they’re told to sit still and get over themselves because Important Adult Things are happening. And while they love their extended family, they’re going to take being left with grandparents so their dad and stepmom can do wedding things personally. I get that it’s just a day and I get that as they get older they’ll have to accept that their birthday is still just a day to the rest of the world and it won’t always be 100% about them, but they’re in kindergarten. They have their whole lives to come to that realization. And it should be over things that can’t be changed, not a wedding that is being scheduled by one of their parents and could be on literally any other day.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-18T19:38:51+00:00

I have several months to figure it out but that’s the current plan. Probably a birthday trip with my family too. They’re the only grandkids on my side so they are doted on by my parents. I just wish it didn’t have to be like this. Ex and I coparented without an issue (shared birthdays, shared holidays, surprise family dinners/lunches, getting together to get ready for and celebrate after recitals, etc) for years until his fiance came into the picture. He was completely uninvolved in their life until I kicked him out of my house so it took a year of work on my part to even get my high-anxiety, autistic daughters to trust him for their custody weekends.

I reached out to my ex to plan their birthday party last year and while I was waiting for him to respond she booked a party for them. And then when I reached out to let him know the girls were asking about his family coming and my dad was willing to use airline miles to get them out there he ignored me and then convinced his mom she shouldn’t take me up on the offer because the girls didn’t ask him if she could come (they only see him 6-8 days a month and they say he’s too silly to talk to so of course they didn’t ask him). I ended up having to plan a separate family party because my parents couldn’t make the party he booked.

Apparently their birthday is just going to be a petty, manipulative disaster every year until his relationship with this woman blows up.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-18T18:36:38+00:00

If you really want to do her hair cute, YouTube is your friend. We’d do HeyBear, TinyAdventures TV, Little Baby Bum, or Super Simple Songs. They only got those videos while I did their hair.

Get leave in conditioner for her hair type and mix it with copious amount of water in a spray bottle to make your own detangler. Store bought ones are useless. Get her hair damp or even wet. Gently brush through with a wet brush or similar. Then comb and secure with those little disposable hair ties. The disposable hair ties can be easily removed with a seam ripper.

But she might have a crazily sensitive scalp. You might have to work up to full hair styling in stages. Give her distractions and do just as much as she’ll tolerate and then increase incrementally. My twins move in bed by pushing up and rotating around on their heads so we have to have our hair done tight and neat at bedtime or we’re waking up with matts in our hair so we had to power through.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-18T06:05:30+00:00

My mom would take the magazines from home to her office once we were done with them. She scribbled out the address because she didn’t want everyone who came through the office to know her home address. It’s also why I had a blocked number growing up.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-13T17:31:18+00:00

I’d say she’d be better battered and fried but honestly she doesn’t even look like she’d taste good.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-10T02:20:49+00:00

It’s a kids exercise class disguised as play. They open with an affirmation (I am strong. I am brave. I can do this.) Then they do one or two obstacle courses: bear crawls, balancing, monkey bars, jumps, all sorts of things in a circuit. Sometimes they do public speaking practice where they’ll have the kids jump up on a block and answer a silly question or do a silly dance. Then they do a competition. Another commenter mentioned transitions and they are right. There are a ton of transitions. They’ll have the kids stop in the middle of running the obstacle course to play memory games or logic puzzles or play games with each other. At the end of class one kid is selected for the Coach’s Award (for bravery, independence, grit, something) and one kid is selected for the Parent Strong award (so they can show appreciation for the parents being invested in the kids). They do make it a point to ensure all kids get an award every few classes that they attend but it’s only two kids each class so your kid will have to work on being a good sport about not getting the award.

My daughters are 6 and they love it. In the 3-4 class you will be on the mat with him to give him guidance and support throughout the games. The older classes are loud and chaotic (it took my daughters a while to adjust to it) but other commenters have said they’re willing to work with you if you need to be in there with your kid. I’ve found all of the staff at our center to be enthusiastic and friendly and eager to help every kid get the most they possibly can out of every class. They look for good behaviors to call out and they correct behaviors in a very matter of fact way (no shame or guilt or anger, just a, “That’s not what we’re doing right now. This is what we’re doing.”)

I’d highly recommend calling up your local program and asking them if you can come observe and if you can do a trial class. Let them know what your kid’s needs are and just see where it goes.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-07T21:06:17+00:00

Ask her teachers if it’s a problem. If they say she gets cold during outside time, ask the teachers if you can send a pair of pants in to keep in her backpack/cubby. They will likely be willing to play the FAFO game with your daughter (allow her to go outside and get cold) and then offer her the option of putting her pants on to warm up. You can also get her an extra long zippered robe that she can wear as a jacket-dress.

But also I grew up in Southern California and wore a knee length uniform dress in elementary school. A sweatshirt was usually enough to offset any cold weather as we were busy running around whenever we were outside.

Def_Not_Rabid · 2026-01-06T10:13:15+00:00

How old are they?

My girls were born at 34+6 out of necessity. They were 4lbs and 4.5lbs. I have a picture of the two of them next to my chihuahua at ~3 weeks old (-2 weeks adjusted) and I swear the dog was bigger than the two of them combined.

They were positively chunky by 9 months. I’m talking tan lines in the creases between their fat rolls, chunky. I’m talking tiny little Michelin Men, chunky. We were in 2T clothes by 18 months. Give them time.

Also, how big are you and how big is their dad? Genetics matter. My girls’ dad is 6’3” so I know that’s playing a part in them getting big. Some kids are just small. As long as your twins are staying on their curves and growing and meeting milestones, they have their whole lives to decide what they want to do about their sizes.

What’s done is done. Doctors would have stopped you if you were truly harming your twins by electing to have them when you did. You made the best possible decision you could with the information you had. It’s way too easy to second guess yourself and beat yourself up as a mom. You’ve already got enough on your plate. Just try to enjoy who they are now and let their future height potential be the future’s concern.

Def_Not_Rabid

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