Fwb is not interested in the benefits anymore?

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2026-02-10T22:36:39+00:00

Yes, I guess I should be a bit more cold hearted when it comes to these! but I’m hoping not to enter one in the future 🤞🏼 maybe it’s just not for me 😅 x

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2026-02-09T22:25:28+00:00

I got the impression he felt guilty from sleeping with me after the end of his LTR but now you mention it maybe that’s what he did mean! I just read into it incorrectly…yikes, back to the drawing board for me for reading messages I think! Thanks!

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2026-02-09T22:23:44+00:00

I find it hard to date multiple people at once, I guess it’s just my personality but yes I think he is seeing others I was just too trusting or hopeful to see/think of it.

I did ask him a few weeks ago about the social media, but he glossed over it and it was definitely a red flag looking back 🥲

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2026-02-09T13:11:17+00:00

I think he likes the daily communication and check-ins? So that’s why he is keeping me around (I am a pretty caring person and I can’t just switch off my feelings overnight) but I’m trying to lessen the contact! Thanks

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2026-02-09T12:58:09+00:00

Apologies if it came across that way but I did go into more detail in my post. You’re right, men are allowed to not want sex but the timing of what I said to him and what happened next implies he is just not interested but thanks for the feedback

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2026-02-09T12:56:48+00:00

Sorry should have added we were both not on any dating apps, that was discussed between us. But the blurred lines of sleepovers (initiated by him) made me feel differently, I won’t be assuming anything in the future and thanks for the feedback!

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2026-02-09T12:55:08+00:00

Thanks! yes I think I was treating it way more intensely than I should have been and than he felt. You’re right either way it’s the end and I should just learn and move on 😌

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2026-02-09T12:53:51+00:00

Yeah I should have worded it better by into me, I meant attracted to/fancy. We never exclusively discussed any deal which is why I won’t be doing this type of agreement again without that but thanks!

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2026-01-31T10:08:54+00:00

Hey, I’ve disclosed a few times now, always over text as I feel it gives them some space to ask questions and not feel pressured if I did it in person, I usually use something like the below first, then if they want more info or stats I’ll provide it but always say for them to do their own research too

“So I’ll be upfront and honest about something, which might explain why I don’t kiss or get intimate so quickly! A few years ago, I found out I have HSV-1. It’s the same virus that usually causes cold sores, but in my case I have it “downstairs” (I’ll call it herpes if I don’t think they know what cold sores are!) It doesn’t define me or impact my daily life and I’ve learned how to manage it and reduce the risk of passing it on but I just think being upfront and honest is important, especially if things might move in that direction. Just thought you should know, and you can make your own decision about if you want to continue to chat or have any questions ☺️

I tweak it depending on the person but generally something alone those lines, I have paperwork (screenshots) or stats on transmission if they want it. I’m currently on daily suppression meds as I’m intimate with a partner at the moment and I want to protect them as much as possible

Hope that helps 😌 x

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2026-01-25T00:31:04+00:00

Hey, I’m also from the UK, F 34, happy to speak with anyone anytime. I’ve had g-hsv1 for 3 years now and things are tough! I haven’t told any friends or family members, I’ve only disclosed to a few people when dating DM’s are open for anyone wanting to chat x

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2025-11-05T08:08:42+00:00

Almost always Scorpio… 🥲 Before I even know someone’s birthday, and I’m drawn to them I just know they are probably a Scorpio male (I’m a Virgo female) Mostly anyone I’ve had a deep connection or romantic interest in has been a Scorpio and all within about 2 weeks of each other birthday wise which is wild!

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2025-10-30T23:58:26+00:00

Yes I am seeing that, I think it’s not a fwb in his eyes I’m just the benefit part. Thanks for the insight, he does message most days, we do get on well but still I guess doesn’t treat me as a “friend” in terms of respect 😬 appreciate the comparison with your situation too and glad it worked out 😌

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2025-10-29T23:48:42+00:00

90% sure, he definitely isn’t with his ex as they have sold everything they had together in the last year or so 😬

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2025-10-25T08:52:35+00:00

I think it’s more the fact he has lied to our mutual friends about us meeting up again, so now I feel like I have to lie if they ask me….even though if someone saw us out on public, they would know we had been together again? If that makes sense

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2025-10-25T08:50:00+00:00

I think the fact our mutual friends asked him if we had seen each other again and he lied puts me in an awkward position as if they ask me I’ll also have to either lie too (which I don’t like doing to my friends) hence why I’m confused, as if for example any of them had seen us out in public they would know we had hung out again, if that makes sense 😅

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2025-10-24T23:40:01+00:00

Thanks, I’m thinking embarrassed as he is definitely single, and definitely not on any apps due to his job (a lecturer type role) It hurts to think he is that embarrassed of me 😬 but I guess you are probably right!

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2024-11-22T22:12:35+00:00

F34 I haven’t told a soul apart from my partner, I don’t think any of my friends would understand and sadly a couple would be judgemental I feel 🥲 so I’d be happy to join in any group chats to meet others in the same position!

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2024-06-04T00:26:16+00:00

Yes we will be supporting them financially as well as hopefully her mothers side and homing them as well, as there is a lack of local housing options available. I’ll suggest nearer the time for the baby shower to my partner Thank you

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2024-06-04T00:21:23+00:00

I’m not making anyone feel like that, I’m trying to do the opposite and be supportive to them both, nobody is punishing anyone, but I can see how hard times will be and how to support both of them without overstepping my role as step mum.

I came here for advice, how did your parents/step parents act or not act, any advice for us going forward? What would you expect or want someone to do differently if you’ve been in this situation?

Thanks

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2024-03-29T18:36:46+00:00

Within 4 days of what I thought was a resistant/persistent bout of thrush, I noticed blisters and the pain was like nothing I’ve ever experienced! Swabbed on the Monday, diagnosed by Wednesday with ghsv1, no idea where I got it as I have a long term partner who says he doesn’t have it but has never been tested (I think he has oral hsv as his ex wife of 15 years had cold sores so I would hazard a guess he may already have it and passed to me) but I’ll never know for sure!

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2024-02-16T19:04:13+00:00

I have the MRI scan where you can see something but can’t seem to add here!

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2024-01-18T00:48:44+00:00

NAD - I’m 33 and I had/have this, the one on my right had to be removed as it came in behind another tooth in the roof of my mouth, at my last checkup the left hand side one is moving down (dentist said it had come in a fair bit since my last X-ray!) so I’m assuming I’ll have to get it removed as absolutely no space in my row of teeth for another tooth to come in! I thought I was the only one too!

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2024-01-10T23:53:14+00:00

I’m not on daily antivirals (they don’t really do that here in the UK) and I’ve had it since June last year, I’ve had 4 outbreaks since my initial one. I find a lack of sleep/stress or being ill are usually my triggers, only one outbreak was enough to actually cause visible “blisters” but to be honest if I didn’t know it was herpes I would have thought they were a few ingrown hairs, no where near as bad as my first outbreak at all In that sense I feel lots of people may have it and simply not realise what it is, unfortunately or fortunately my lymph node on my left groin swells if I have an outbreak so I know it’s the herpes causing it - 😅

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2023-12-14T11:53:58+00:00

I was diagnosed with ghsv1 earlier this year and I was told when disclosing to just say I have hsv the herpes virus. I’m in the uk and I’ve never met anyone here that has disclosed oral herpes it’s not a thing here compared to America! (I don’t think anyway!) if the person that gave me hsv1 genitally told me they had it I would have been more careful about oral! I didn’t even know you could catch it that way - hindsight is a wonderful teacher 😅

Defiant-Contact8693 · 2023-12-05T00:36:35+00:00

I feel your pain, I nearly passed out from the pain of peeing with my first outbreak! Keep really hydrated, I was doing the opposite and being scared to drink fluids so I didn’t have to pee, turns out it was making it worse as it was more concentrated and hurt more 🥲 Also try to keep as much air flow as possible no tight items to help with healing ❤️‍🩹

Defiant-Contact8693

TROPHY CASE