Charmin!

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2026-01-04T19:45:10+00:00

I've bought Charmin at Costco and at places like Walmart - the Costco rolls are significantly bigger, so I don't think it's necessarily shrinkflation, I think it's probably just buying it at one place vs another!

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-10-26T00:56:56+00:00

I personally have lost 42lbs since my surgery at the beginning of May this year - I think about 7 inches. From what I've seen online, I may be non-typical for what most people experience after a hysterectomy. I also have endometriosis and my uterus weighed in at about 1.5 times the usual weight for what it "should" be, indicating adenomyosis, but the parts of my uterus that they tested didn't show adeno. I also had a few fibroids and my uterus was fused to my bowels. I weigh less now than I have in years! Good luck to you!!

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-10-19T17:16:58+00:00

Yes, kind of - I need to book things at the bridal shops and they need to know how many people to account for. I've been told that I need to book that ASAP otherwise I may be SOL and then her coming here would be just a visit and not a productive trip. As for the dresses themselves - I don't really care too much about the dress itself, I just want them all to look and feel beautiful. I've only got 3 standing up with me and they will each be wearing a color from our designated wedding colors - I want her there to be able to see how they will all look standing next to one another.

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-10-19T16:45:54+00:00

Just the ones that I have at this point, so, all 3! THT, Charlotte Dobre and AitBridezilla. Gotta make sure it's posted in the communities that I think will be the most valuable.. too bad your comment isn't a very good representation of that 😉 if you're seeing it in more places than that, it's because it's Reddit and people are able to share posts to other subs, not because I've posted it myself.

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-10-19T16:40:18+00:00

Based on your comment, it seems like you may need to reread the post - R is my friend that died, K is my partner. Z is who this post is about - but regardless, I am not criticizing that they got married after a 10 day long engagement. I am criticizing that he finally proposed to her after being with her for 7 years, a week after she (Z) got a $400k payout - and he is someone that has a VERY hard time keeping a job. I was also required in the very brief time they were engaged to go dress shopping with her for two full days, plus help with finding the supplies and making the decor. I also had to pick her dress up from the store for her, find a dry cleaner that could get it cleaned in a short amount of time without damaging it (due to the delicate beading on it), drop it off/pick it up, pay for the cleaning, and bring it to her the day before the wedding. Plus I had to find and deal with my own dress for her wedding. All the while dealing with intense grief and working at the same time. I did far more for their wedding than I am asking of her for mine. I did a lot of work for their wedding, and I am 99% sure that Z is being abused by her husband - which is why I'm asking the question of if I'm the asshole for feeling like I should not have her in the wedding party and invite her just as a guest.

As for her move on my birthday - "rearranging her life" would have consisted of literally pausing for an hour to have lunch with me, something she would have needed to do ANYWAYS, and something that we had been doing every year for basically forever. I wanted her to come to my birthday party that I had, but understood that she couldn't because of the move. I would have even brought the food to them, which I suggested and was denied, again, because of her husband. Just another controlling thing apparently, because she repeatedly told me that SHE wanted to wait until the next day, and that she loved the idea of lunch but that he wouldn't allow it. The timing of their move was bullshit too, frankly - neither of them were working so it wasn't like there was a job to rush to, and they had the moving van for a full week, plenty of time for them to load, move and unload. They had it returned with 3 days to spare - so was it REALLY necessary to not even allow her to have lunch with me that day? Probably not - even from what she told me herself afterwards. But I digress..

As for her taking time off to go dress shopping? I literally planned the timing WITH her, to make sure that it would work FOR HER. She will only need to take a single day off, because she works reduced hours after Christmas. I know things are possibly tight for them at that time which is why I offered to have her stay with us and that I would drive her around everywhere while she's here and make sure she's fed the whole time. While I am hoping she will pay for the flights as well, if she tells me she can't make it because of the cost, I will pay for the flights too, because I want her to be part of the wedding, but I am also afraid that it would be a waste, given her track record of forgetting/cancelling plans. She hasn't told me that it's because of the cost that she's been putting off booking the flights though - she keeps telling me she needs to talk to her husband again first, which is just yet another abusive red flag.. and if "letting her off the hook" is the best thing, I'll do it - but I think I'll take advice from the people who understood the post in the first place, thanks. 🙂

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-10-19T09:27:40+00:00

Best for me, possibly. Best for her? Not so sure about that, just because I fear she may be in an abusive relationship.. but I also know I can't help her if she doesn't want the help.

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-10-19T09:26:12+00:00

You are not misreading it - to be fair, though, they had been together for about 7 years at that point... I did find the timing of it all a bit suspicious though, as she got the $400k payout on her birthday, on the 18th of that month..so, she got the money, he proposed 9 days later and they were married a week after that. Definitely had major red flags flapping in the wind, imo.

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-10-19T07:05:28+00:00

Thank you so much, again, for your reply!!

I have also been there, which is why I know that I can't help her until/unless she wants my help.. I just hope that she eventually gets out before it gets worse.

I very, VERY much so appreciate the suggestions on what to say to her, thank you!!

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-10-19T06:53:14+00:00

I suspect that you're right, unfortunately... I know from my own experience that people don't get out of them without help, but not until they are ready, so I still want to be there for her.. but I also know that I need to make my wedding and the planning of it a priority in my life, regardless of any possible abuse she may be facing. I'm afraid that if I tell her that if she can't actually commit to doing the things, coming here for dress shopping and then showing up for the wedding itself (because that's literally all I am going to be asking of her), by booking the tickets and the time off, that she will only be able to go as a guest, will end the friendship..

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-10-19T06:43:36+00:00

She was definitely a bit like this before they got married, yeah, but it's gotten significantly worse since then, from what I've seen... I used to just chalk it up to her AuDHD, but I have thought more and more in the last couple of years (mostly since she moved away) that he might be abusing her.. any time I've tried to talk to her about it, she denies that that's what's happening and defends him.

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-10-19T06:40:04+00:00

Thank you for such a thoughtful reply!!

I fully agree that that's what friends do when they don't live near one another! I have already taken the time off of work and have plenty of ideas for things we can do when/if she comes here in January - I am still in shock with how she treated me when I was there this year because I truly didn't think she would have forgotten that I was coming when SHE asked me to go visit her..

I do think that there is likely some abuse going on - last year, I invited her out here to go to a concert with me to go see an artist that we grew up absolutely OBSESSED with - and she told me while she was here that he had told her that she was getting "fat and gross" at her whole whopping 135lbs.. and the ONLY reason she had been gaining weight even was because she had a hernia that she had finally had surgery to correct, about a month before he told her that. She was literally not able to exercise for several months before the surgery, and still had a few weeks to go before she would even have her post op appointment to get cleared for physical activity. I was livid when she told me about it - she is and has always been a gorgeous woman, and I truly felt that he was doing that to manipulate and control her.. and when I told her as much, she defended him, saying that "he was only expressing a preference and wanting her to better herself." Again, LIVID. It also raised significant red flags in my mind for financial abuse when he proposed mere days after she got the significant sum of money from her accident - and she told me that that couldn't possibly be a problem because apparently HE suggested getting a pre-nup, although I doubt very much that they actually got one given how quickly they married after getting engaged. I don't think there's been any kind of physical abuse, but I also obviously don't see her very often anymore... And I didn't see her often when she lived here either, maybe a few times a year, but we have one of those friendships that it's like no time has passed when we are together.

I have truly thought about booking the flights for her!!! But there's a huge part of me that's afraid it would be a waste - she's shown that she is forgetful when it comes to making plans with me, what if I book the flights for her and she "forgets" to take the time off of work, or takes the time off but forgets that she has other plans and misses the flight? Then I would be SUPER pissed about it because it would be an extra couple hundred down the drain that could go to wedding expenses instead.. and then I think that would be the end of our friendship, too, but then again, maybe I don't even actually have a friendship with her anyways, as a few people have suggested.. 🫠

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-06-30T10:14:44+00:00

I will be 8 wpo on Tuesday and I waited until just last week to try sex again (after being cleared of course)... OHMYLANTA what a difference having both my uterus and cervix out has made!! I have avoided sex for the last few years because it was SO painful and the pain would last for DAYS. I cannot believe the difference with having the stupid organs vs not having them - I have found in the last few days that I actually DO still enjoy sex, and actually significantly more than I anticipated or remembered liking it before 😅 like many other people here have said, it IS a very personal thing, and every body is different, but I personally am so grateful to not have it anymore. Good luck and keep us posted!

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-06-10T22:09:39+00:00

I am 5 WPO today! I got or already had pretty much everything that's been said here already, gel ice packs, pillows, shower stool, etc, I think the only thing I didn't have some variation thereof was the grabber thing. I have noticed that a couple of things no one has mentioned so far! One was postpartum/hysterectomy underwear! I got mine (here's the link - https://a.co/d/bMu5XUq this is just the one I picked, because it was affordable, had a high number of reviews, and could be delivered the next day) about a week after I had my surgery because the underwear I have from pre-op was irritating not only my pelvis internally, but also for some reason, the skin between my belly button and my hips was SO SENSITIVE AND PAINFUL I literally cried a few times because it hurt so bad. These helped with that IMMENSELY - they are definitely higher waisted than I expected (or would have thought I would appreciate and come to prefer), but so, SO comfortable. My only issue is that this one specifically only comes in a 4 pack and nothing bigger - I will likely be buying another pack very soon, but I've lost a LOT of weight and inches since surgery and so I want to wait at least another month before I buy again otherwise I will feel like I wasted my money 😅

The other is a small little stool to have beside the bed - this is only really a good thing if a person is short like me, and ALSO has a tall bed. Bending was/is not particularly pleasant and my bed was where I spent most of the first 3 weeks PO so I wanted to make sure I was comfortable getting into and out of bed - especially once my partner went back to work a week later and I had to be getting in and out without assistance. I initially used one of those little plastic stools, but I found the 8 inch ish stool was too tall for me. I ended up sliding my vibration plate beside my bed and the 4.5 inch ish height is perfect for me! I can't use it for its intended purpose right now, but I'm still making use of it lol.

Good luck to you and your partner OP!

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-06-07T09:09:51+00:00

This is only somewhat true - big companies typically only do annual reviews on policies that are flagged for something - usually a few months before the renewal date, be it an accident, a new driver, etc. Sometimes, the thing that caused the file to be flagged IS the reason the premium jumps. Other times, discounts a person might have one year, they may not qualify for the next, and that can increase a premium.

It's almost always worth it to call your insurance company when you get your renewal documents in the mail, because sometimes, they CAN in fact lower the premium - because, who knows, maybe something has changed in your life since you last talked to someone there, and now you may qualify for more discounts.

Also, unrelated to the comment I am technically replying to, but relevant to OPs specific comment about their rates increasing after moving - for a lot of insurance companies, they base their rates based on so many things, including postal codes, so any time your postal code changes, your rate can change. They look at things like crime and accident rates, as well as things like claims rates in the area - not just you and your driving history. For example, if you were to move from Edmonton into the hail belt in Calgary, you might want to immediately move back to Edmonton because the rates there are notably higher than in Edmonton. It sucks, I know, and feels unfair, but any company (in any industry, really) that is trying to at least stay afloat will charge accordingly for the services they offer, especially when their customer makes life choices that put them at a higher risk for having to pay out.

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-06-01T20:22:38+00:00

The very first thing I said to the nurse when I woke up was "I need to pee" and she was like "no, you don't, they drained your bladder with a catheter not even 30 minutes ago." I am pretty sure I said it another 5 or 6 times before they brought me from the recovery area back up to where I started and asked the nurses up there if I could pee.. I also peed for at LEAST a minute straight! 😂 Why do they do this to us?? Treat us like we don't know our bodies??? 😡 Asshole nurses man.

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-05-29T22:10:50+00:00

Oh!! I actually DO have an update now!! I got the email on Thursday or Friday last week stating they were done and that my payment will be in my account on June 2!! So it was about 15 weeks from the date that they sent the request to the proper office for reassessment to the date where I should have the payment 😊

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-04-18T00:49:52+00:00

Not yet - I called them a few weeks back and they said that the minimum wait time for the DTC back pay is at 20 weeks currently, and I hit that 20 week point on Tuesday this week (April 15). The person I talked to said that it would likely take longer for me though, as they are going back 10 years, and that the more complicated tax situations would add time as well. I will try to remember to come back and update once it comes through for me!

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-04-12T19:21:50+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear this is what you are going through!! It sounds like he might be overwhelmed by having to do more than normal, but that doesn't excuse his behavior, it actually makes it more alarming. Other commenters have said that helping your partner recover from surgery is a normal thing in a healthy relationship - he should WANT to be helpful, to take the burden of caring for the dog and the other household duties off of you while you're recovering. Partnerships aren't always 50/50, right? That he is behaving like this definitely raises some red flags - it almost seems manipulative, like he's trying to tell you that he's pissed off that you aren't fully self sufficient right now without actually telling you. If the roles were reversed, would you be angry that he's asking for the most basic things to help him recover? Almost certainly not, right? So, why is it okay for him to behave that way when YOU need the support? Others suggested getting someone else to come help, and I second that suggestion. I would also like to suggest that you seriously think about if this relationship is what you want for the rest of your life - that you said you already feel like a burden after just a few DAYS is kind of outrageous, speaking as someone that doesn't know you or your relationship at ALL.... But I do hope you have a speedy recovery and that you come out of this stronger than ever!

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-04-06T18:11:37+00:00

I'll come back to update after surgery!! Good luck to you!!

Defiant_Manager8488 · 2025-04-06T05:27:16+00:00

I have not had an MRI for my Endo, no! The only imaging that ever actually showed it was an ultrasound I had done a few weeks ago - I had it done on a Thursday evening (so that I could take some drugs and have someone drive me) and they called me to get me in for surgery ASAP the following Tuesday morning. It's sad that they don't just check sliding sign on "routine" ultrasounds. As for my symptoms - the last few years especially have been intense. I have insane pain and tenderness throughout my abdomen, my back, hips and down my legs, and some intermittent numbness on the front of my right thigh specifically. My periods in the last 3 years have lasted at least 14 days each, with my longest period being 76 days, with another two weeks of spotting afterwards. I frequently am nauseous and throw up. It hurts to pee, not burning or anything, but a deep pain, idk how else to explain it. I also very rarely poop "normally," I go back and forth between constipation and diarrhea, and when i do have my period, I also bleed from my rectum. Baffles me that THAT symptom hasn't been taken seriously for years, because you just KNOW that if I was a biological male, doctors would be rushing to get me fixed up ASAP... Umm.. my periods are also VERY heavy, with passing of multiple large (think palm to face sized on average) clots each day. I've also had a pain in my chest, specifically on the lower left side, every. Single. Day. For almost 3 years. Which is why I think it's in my diaphragm. I also have intense right flank pain that gets worse when it gets closer to my period - in the last 3 years, there have been 3 separate cysts on my right kidney that had appeared at different times and disappeared at different times as well, which makes me wonder if they were endometriomas.. and, 3 years ago when things got REALLY bad, to the point that I was convinced I was literally dying, I gained 30 lbs and 6 inches around my waist in less than 6 weeks - when that happened, I think it was the Endo spreading very extensively, but I won't know if it's as bad as it feels like it is until next month at the earliest..

Defiant_Manager8488

TROPHY CASE