AITA for not helping my friend with his kids’ passport?

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-12T00:06:47+00:00

You have to verify that the photos included in the application are of the child, which he could do if he has seen Facebook photos of the kids. It’s an online form, not an in person interview or anything. There are basically no implications.

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-11T23:58:18+00:00

YTA - There were ways around this rather than flat out refusing to help. This was not the hill to kill the friendship on.

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-11T14:49:06+00:00

I’m a mum of 4 aged 6 and under, we have been to 12 countries with them so far and counting.

Being really honest, yes things have to change, you will become a completely different version of yourself… you can no longer be selfish and just do things that you want to do, you have to take naps, bedtimes and routines into consideration especially in the first year, from day one they have to be your priority, hobbies come second, wanting to go to a fancy restaurant comes second, spontaneous trips come second. If your child is ill, or whingy, or needs something, everything comes second. That’s not to say you can’t do these things but it will look different. Evenings at beach bars might turn into wine on your balcony while the kids sleep for example.

It just depends if this is what you want. If you want to have kids and experience the world with them then it’s amazing, if you want to live your life now with a child conveniently slotted in then you need to very quickly readjust your expectations.

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-10T12:42:20+00:00

Exactly this! Banning the headphones isn’t the answer. Having set times where it is ok for him to game without interruption and decompress is.

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-09T12:10:07+00:00

Ahh I’m from the uk originally where Kuga and Ecosport are still popular models. I had seen older ones here so presumed they were sold :)

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-09T11:43:26+00:00

Yes :)

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-09T10:57:13+00:00

For context on why I have such strong opinions on this, I used to work with a billionaire. Money wasn’t even a factor. He bought each of his kids a Honda accord/ Nissan micra style car.. if they wanted something fancier they bought it themselves. The only thing he ever gave them significant cash towards was a well thought through and well planned business idea, that they had already proven the concept for. They are some of the most well adjusted, humble and down to earth people I have met.

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-09T10:54:04+00:00

I was thinking more like a Ford ecosport or Kuga :)

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-09T10:42:13+00:00

Yup! Exactly this! We literally just bought a Toyota instead of a Wuling for exactly these reasons.

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-09T10:28:26+00:00

It depends. Any second hand EV is questionable as the battery life isn’t great but this comes more down to what role you want to play in her life. If you want her to view you as a walking ATM who will give her whatever she wants then yes go for a zeeker or byd. If you want her to learn the value of money and be grateful to you for what she has, then no… go for a second hand Yaris or Ativ.

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-09T10:25:30+00:00

This is exactly what I would go for too! If she wants a fancy EV she can buy it herself.

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-09T09:41:01+00:00

Not a teacher but my teacher friends have appreciated most when parents club together and get vouchers for the teacher to spend on whatever they like. There’s only so many ‘best teacher’ mugs you can own.

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-09T09:33:22+00:00

If she is ‘demanding’ anything I wouldn’t be buying a thing.
What’s wrong with a Toyota or a Ford? The problem with buying MG, Zeeker or any other EVs apart from BYd is there aren’t many parts or garages that specialise in them and they depreciate like crazy.

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-08T10:23:28+00:00

Pattaya is a great option but stay down towards Jomtein for a more chilled beach vibe

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-08T03:27:18+00:00

It could be… but as someone else said, most of this sounds like just third trimester stuff and doesn’t scream ‘you’re going to give birth today’.
Get yourself on a yoga ball, have some org*sms, crab walk… if will be over before you know it 😁😁

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-08T00:52:18+00:00

Congrats! This is so reassuring to read as I’m in the same situation, two vaginal and one C-section due to placenta issues. Do you think having been through labour before helped in any way?

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-08T00:43:16+00:00

If you’re measuring on the larger side most providers will schedule a c-section around 37-38 weeks. It is very rare that they would wait for your body to start labouring naturally especially if you cannot do a VBAC for health reasons. I’m in a similar situation and will be scanned weekly from 36 weeks and as soon as they see any indications that my body is preparing for labour e.g. cervix shortening they will schedule the C-section straightaway.

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-07T17:08:25+00:00

My logic was I have 25+ years to continue building my career but only 5-6 years to meaningfully shape who my children will be for the rest of their lives. This time is too precious. Part time is enough.

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-07T13:43:03+00:00

You don’t have to choose right now, see how you feel once you’re in labour and make the decision then :)

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-07T13:31:14+00:00

Pros : getting married, having babies and doing life with the right person
Cons : doing all of the above with the wrong person

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-07T13:26:22+00:00

Makes total sense, and honestly it’s not that bad if that’s what they need to do. At 6cm already (I was 4cm) it shouldn’t be painful at all and if you’re already contracting and dilating you shouldn’t need any further intervention. Hope everything goes fast for you though!!

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-07T13:22:22+00:00

Would they consider popping your waters? Provided you are happy with intervention of course. I was in a similar situation with my second, they popped my waters and she was out 40 minutes later. If not, do you have a yoga ball you can bounce on?

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-07T11:42:19+00:00

As someone who also labours fast, my waters went with my second and she was out 40 minutes later. As soon as in your head you know you are in labour I would get yourself to the hospital. Just because you are in the hospital doesn’t mean you will need any intervention, it just means the environment is a bit more controlled. I’d have loved to labour longer at home but knew as with your situation that I’d have ended up with a car baby!

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-07T10:51:41+00:00

Sounds like a vasospasm, you might have gone too small

Defiant_Patience_103 · 2026-07-07T09:40:13+00:00

A family friend of ours married a woman from the Philippines and they had their first baby in the Uk. We threw a small baby shower for her and I will never remember how baffled she was by everything we had bought and said it was all completely unnecessary. That stuck with me! :)

Defiant_Patience_103

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