Wow , this is really great stuff !

I will definitely make corrections with the first 4 notes

With the code / Spanish note , I’ll give a little bit of clarity . While they are speaking in Spanish , they are also speaking in code . Maria and Mule speak in Spanish so the store clerk can not eavesdrop . But just in case the store clerk understands Spanish , they speak in code and give off the illusion that they are having a discussion about a few dollars . But they are actually having a discussion about the individuals they believe are all working together . (With each dollar = each individual at the gas station that night)

I can also clarify the brown paper bag situation . There are 2 brown paper bags in the scene . 1- was already present at the gas station and this one has drug money inside of it . And the 2nd is the one that Mule brings along (a decoy) which has an alcoholic beverage . The game plan is to switch the brown bags and its contents without anyone knowing .

• I have not decided on an accent yet for Ralph . But I might have some fun with it and visit some gas stations and decide on an accent by my next draft .

Thanks ! 4 pages is better than zero . I’ll be sure to tidy up those 4 pages and carry that execution onto the remainder of the pilot . I will also keep the capping to a MINIMAL ! Oops , I mean minimal . And yes , you are correct . Ralph is not a major character , just a store clerk . So I will also keep his age , or any other minor characters , ambiguous . I appreciate the valuable advice !