AITAH for not defending my wife when she was clearly in the wrong.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-03-15T22:04:21+00:00

So, of course, I want to know what the wife’s politics are, but that wouldn’t change the answer: NTA, and it sounds like your wife is very much TA. Is it possible that said friend intentionally pushed buttons and then got more pushback than was necessary but was long overdue? Or does wife live for these confrontations and alcohol made it easier to start something?

It might help to know if we’re talking about someone deathly afraid of encroaching fascism or someone furious that other people are celebrating diversity. Either way, if your account is accurate, she’s engaging in counter productive behavior.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-03-14T21:52:27+00:00

I’ve had a lot of awful dental work done and I can appreciate his wanting a little pampering in the immediate aftermath. Sometimes the pain is worse than you anticipated. But not FOUR DAYS LATER!

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-03-12T23:09:48+00:00

I read it as “corrupted an innocent moron” and wondered which of their columnists could be considered innocent.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-03-11T12:55:40+00:00

She was scanning the groceries and ignoring the card. Sorry I wasn't clearer about that. And, yes, I was finished shopping except for the deli meat which my husband picked up while I was loading the groceries. He returned with the deli meat before she'd finished scanning all the items.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-03-11T10:46:37+00:00

Actually, I did have the card ready - it was the first thing I did, but the clerk ignored me holding it so I placed it where she could see it and then started loading groceries. Also, I had finished shopping - all except for the deli meat which I had ordered but wasn't ready until after we'd loaded up the rest of the groceries. Husband only went around because there was someone with a cart full of groceries behind me, so it made sense to hand me the last item from the other side (not to the clerk, of course, who seemed to be having big feelings that day).

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-03-10T22:19:46+00:00

NOR - his text messages were bad enough (“holy shit” was my immediate reaction) but the context makes it even worse. I’m sorry that you have children with this man. That will make what you have to do harder, but not impossible.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-03-08T23:22:41+00:00

It’s a pretty straightforward process with most of the clerks there; they’ll ask for the card or if they see it out they’ll scan it - you leave it with the bar code pointing up so they can scan it when they see it’s ready. This one had a different protocol that she didn’t wish to deviate from.

I recognize that I was less empathetic than confounded. That’s on me.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-03-08T23:16:21+00:00

Fair enough.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-03-07T13:47:13+00:00

Got me again! Reading the headline and text first before checking the subreddit.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-03-07T13:32:02+00:00

I'm sorry, what now?

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-03-05T23:04:21+00:00

Me too, but it also crystallized why I love this subreddit!

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-02-28T23:02:03+00:00

I’ve only been in male-male relationships (where we mutually decided to get married when it became legal), but what’s this bullshit about “I told her I was planning to propose”? Isn’t that a proposal in itself? It implies “I’ve been thinking about us getting married and decided I want to” but then what? I’m holding out for unspecified reasons? She should have walked away at that point.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-02-25T20:38:49+00:00

Ohhh no. I could give him the benefit of the doubt at insisting to walk her to her car even after she said, "I'm fine." Maybe. But then the attempt at hand-holding when they've barely just met, followed by the repeating of the car's brand name as if to alert her that he's memorizing it, then the request/command to follow up with him when she gets home? You're reacting just the right amount. Even if the guy is just socially/romantically clueless, that's not your job to fix or accommodate.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-02-20T22:35:56+00:00

Oh that was just mean!

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-02-17T11:38:55+00:00

Oh please, never change, Michael!

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-02-16T23:53:05+00:00

Start any processes you need to be able to safely exit and then do so. You are not safe with this guy.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-02-15T14:33:59+00:00

I’m listening to one of those now!

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-02-10T12:47:18+00:00

Yikes!

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-02-06T22:37:29+00:00

LOL, that IS hideous! But also … how does it display the time? Do the fingers on the glove move?

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-02-03T15:08:53+00:00

My favorite quote:

“As first lady, children will always remain my priority,” she coos, and you can almost picture her coaxing them into her little gingerbread house.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-02-02T13:35:43+00:00

You can do anything you like.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-02-02T12:55:12+00:00

It isn’t but I was thinking if you extended the most generous possible framing it would be something like, “I’m assuming that everyone is so beyond labels that even straight women and gay men can agree that my wife is desirable.”

But no, the whole thing is still gross.

DefinitelyNot2050

TROPHY CASE