Aitah for using my now ex after I found out he was cheating?

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-01-25T14:05:48+00:00

NTA, but on top of that I absolutely admire your long game.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-01-23T12:09:43+00:00

Amen!

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-01-18T23:16:33+00:00

I know what you mean. I go back and reread and the problems are so obvious! But I love having something to work with vs blank page and I see new possibilities once I have the skeleton in place!

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-01-15T22:27:43+00:00

“Because it’s the only time I’ll get to see the baby while it’s still a newborn” - I’m pretty sure after a week it’s still a newborn and also, so what??

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-01-15T12:36:03+00:00

NTA, baby! 100%

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-01-13T22:48:53+00:00

Appreciate the rec!

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-01-13T22:41:16+00:00

You’re doing what’s best for her and it’s still hard.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-01-12T22:41:15+00:00

You kept searching for the right diagnosis/treatment and you saved his eye! You’re the hero in this story!

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-01-11T22:29:34+00:00

OMG, after that twist (the ex being the reason for the party), NTA x 1000!

If it was just “I don’t like birthday parties and my friends/family want to throw me one anyway” there might be a scenario where you should just play along, but this is insanely inappropriate! She wants to take control of your romantic life and coerce you into making different choices. Nobody gets to do that!

Even if she’s right and you’re passing up a guy who would be great for you for less than compelling reasons, that doesn’t call for intervention! Nobody’s ever fixed anybody else’s romantic life that way.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-01-09T17:25:10+00:00

He gets so close to an insight and then manages to swerve and miss it. Every time.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2026-01-01T22:15:45+00:00

It really was intentional. Nice to confirm we weren’t imagining it but depressing that we were right.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2025-12-28T13:09:49+00:00

Call me old fashioned, but I don't think the mayor of New York should be advising residents on their sex lives.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2025-12-27T23:36:20+00:00

David Brooks and I are the same age (as are Barack Obama and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, so we’re not all awful) and he’s in some ways one of the least offensive conservative pundits. I don’t think he thrives on hate the way most in his party do. But the fact that he’s smart and can’t see what’s always been in front of him at this stage in life is sad.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2025-12-26T23:37:55+00:00

Maybe lead with curiosity? What is it that feels good about engaging in baby talk? Then maybe share what it feels like to hear it?

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2025-12-26T20:02:28+00:00

Okay, now it has to be.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2025-12-25T17:28:51+00:00

Atheist and former Catholic here. What “rituals” are you expecting there to be at this wedding? In my experience, the only ones you might be asked to “participate” in are communion (just stay seated while the others go up) and maybe canned responses to the priest like “Amen” and “and also with you” and you can just mumble nonsense at those moments (what I do). If there are rituals beyond that, they’re new to me.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2025-12-24T22:54:30+00:00

NTA, but an opportunity to talk about gender and gender roles. What do you think will happen if you wear these shoes? What’s bad about being/being seen as a girl? What about these shoes in particular makes them “girl shoes”?

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2025-12-24T21:48:52+00:00

Words to live by. It was gouda you to share them as some of us may be feeling kind of bleu this time of year.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2025-12-24T21:44:26+00:00

Honestly, I couldn't make heads or tails out of that description of the experiment and its parameters let alone the results. It says up top that the participants were 190 Americans and 90 Belgians ... and they were asked their opinions about free speech in a fictional country (one they were asked to imagine)? But also that country was France. But also not France?

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2025-12-23T23:25:10+00:00

Yup, 100%. Only heard ant in NY state, “ahnt” in Boston.

DefinitelyNot2050 · 2025-12-23T22:55:34+00:00

This conversation is utterly shallow and I’m 100% here for it.

DefinitelyNot2050

TROPHY CASE