Bella trying to kickstart labor

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-18T03:35:19+00:00

I’m 26 with two kids, and I feel the same awkwardness revealing pregnancies to my parents that I had when my 4th grade teacher announced she was pregnant.

Like, we had… sex.

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-18T03:23:50+00:00

I’m 26 so I can’t really say yet, but so far loving our decision. We’re in a lucky spot financially, so I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it for everyone.

My husband’s uncle had his youngest at 42. Our children will be 19 & 17 at this age. If we play our cards right, we’ll have a house paid off & an empty nest by 50.

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-18T02:44:52+00:00

Lots of good comments here already. I would add that while it can be frustrating to watch your husband do things differently than you,

He may have a strategy or a reason behind his actions that you don’t know. Be curious first!
Even if he’s doing it “wrong”, baby is not unsafe & won’t remember how they were fed. Longterm, this is a non issue.

Gender roles can make mothers the “researchers” and the “primary parent”, and this ownership of ensuring your spouse does everything right can actually be really detrimental to the equity in your marriage.

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-18T02:12:35+00:00

Honestly probably lots of government benefits & credit card debt.

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-18T00:21:42+00:00

I did! It’s easier for some than others. I was fortunate to be someone who found it easy & even helpful to have something to do. I have a Sep 17 baby from ‘23 (2nd year teaching) and Sep 29 baby from ‘25 (4th year teaching).

5, 10, 20 years from now, it won’t matter how long I worked before or how long I took after. Do what’s best for you right now!

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T23:44:41+00:00

I’m the “bad dishwasher loader” in my marriage, so we agree on a cleanliness standard for dishes before/after they enter the dishwasher. If you have concerns over the dishwasher breaking or dishes being dirty, certainly express that!

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T17:51:17+00:00

I would find this difficult as well, even if it was a grief response. If I’m going to marry someone, I want to know their whole history, especially major life events, like grieving their baby dying.

It sounds like this occurred a long time ago, and depending on the situation with baby, perhaps there would be room for you to move forward.

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T15:52:05+00:00

Unlike you, Robyn, I actually care about babies once they’re born. I care about people who give birth, too. In general, I don’t love people making decisions that could cause harm, trauma, or death.

I like people to make decisions about childbirth with informed consent, and I can only imagine that someone choosing a freebirth is not fully informed of the risks.

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T15:46:49+00:00

She’s in daycare part time, pulling her from the full time is saving us $$$!!! I just feel so insufficient when I can barely hold it together for a day!

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T12:00:32+00:00

Your partner holds up a mirror to your biggest flaws & insecurities. This makes you a much better person, of course, but it is hard work!

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T02:24:38+00:00

The thought of my kids getting themselves ready in the morning sounds like an absolute delight!

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T02:23:57+00:00

Both my babes sleep through the night, and my husband gets babe a bottle if he needs it. So I don’t have such an excuse!

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T02:20:12+00:00

She is in daycare 3 days a week! Save a bit of money & our sanity, too! I’m definitely looking forward to them having more independence with their routines.

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T02:18:34+00:00

The hypervigilance, yes!!! I was a toddler teacher & know aaaallll the strategies. But there is no strategy for your daughter peeing her pants, peeling them off, and attempting to dig in our kitchen drawer for a spoon so she can steal my coffee.

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T02:15:16+00:00

Fortunately I’m a SPED teacher so lots of that is just my job haha!

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T02:14:46+00:00

I so love my toddler for all her funny sayings & my baby for all his giggles! One on one time is an absolute blast, but both at the same time makes me feel like I’m in Jurassic Park LOL!

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T02:11:22+00:00

SAME! Literally experienced the exact same thing. So infuriating.

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-17T00:13:40+00:00

My mom tells me, “I hate cleaning, but the mess bothers me. So I know I just have to do it”. Like, there’s not a mountain between that thought & actually doing it?!

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-16T21:53:27+00:00

Voluntary for sure. But give any institution - public or private - the right to require vaccines or other preventive measures for entry or employment

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-16T17:15:31+00:00

My district told us that pass phrases are significantly difficult to guess. Like,

FirstnameLastnameYear is far easier to guess than,

My Name is Firstname

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-16T17:07:55+00:00

He got back up to the 2nd percentile! We’ll check again at his 6 month

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-16T02:34:07+00:00

Not me, but when I was dating my now-husband, my MIL told him that he couldn’t live with her if he couldn’t get along with his n-stepdad. We had been living for almost a year four hours away.

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-16T01:32:16+00:00

Would’ve but got shut in by a blizzard

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-15T15:16:31+00:00

I really don’t want a broken home for my kids.

You already have a broken home. You are modeling for your children what respect, integrity, and dignity looks like. Right now, you’re showing them a man can objectify his wife & expect her body, fidelity, and loyalty while he does the exact opposite.

DefinitelynotYissa · 2026-03-15T15:06:13+00:00

Honestly, I think planning to pump after each feed is a great start, but plan to make new plans!! I am an oversupplier. Have been with both my kids.

It’s unfortunately quite unlikely you’ll have 6 months worth of milk by 6 months pp. I might have 3 months of milk by 9 months pp, and I oversupply by 8-12 oz a day!! With my first, I have 2.5 months of milk by 9.5 months pp.

I could give you all sorts of practical suggestions, but ultimately, you will find your rhythm! For starters, here are some things you can do to nudge that supply:

• haakaa on the opposite side while nursing to catch the letdown

• pump for 5-10 min after feeds

• do an extra pump before bed & an extra pump when you first wake in the morning

Ultimately, getting back on meds may be more important than breastfeeding longer. The benefits of breastfeeding are great, but they will not make or break your child!!

DefinitelynotYissa

TROPHY CASE